Is There A Life After Self Harm?

[Bristol]

@Llith I have a tattoo booked for next Saturday, a lotus flower on my cutting arm of choice, in the hope that I won't want to cut over it once it is done, same principle as yours in a way but I don't know if it'll work but at least maybe the sight of it will make me think twice

 

[Deleted member 40384]

I self-harmed for 9 or so years. I've had one slip-up in the last 3 years, but otherwise I have lost the desire to cut. The things that helped me were: learning to feel my feelings nonjudgmentally and mindfully (takes a lot of practice), working on self-compassion, and having alternate coping behaviors (especially body-centered ones like walking or stretching). During times of high emotion, I have urges to cut - I observe the urges with kindness, and know that I don't need to act on them. There's usually a feeling of urgency, so that makes it more difficult, but knowing that the emotion will pass eventually makes it easier to tolerate in the moment. I think DBT therapy is very helpful for self-harm. Ongoing mindfulness practice has been the game-changer for me personally.
After the slip-up, I had to remind myself that I hadn't thrown away all my progress, and it didn't mean that I needed to cut again. That helped me let go of trying to be perfect, and helped me build resilience.

 

[LL90]

I used to cut myself.
The 7 years I cut myself, I always used the same pair of scissors(I like the scissors, bc of the fact that I was able to use a lot of force without cutting to deep, and being able to cut the same place again and again, without having to worry about scarring).
One time I really lost it. I was drunk and angry, and the urge came over me. There was blood everywhere and when my bf(now ex) came home, all he could see was blood. The day after I took a hard look at myself and decided to start working on my issues. I threw out my scissors(it had become this ritual) and it helped a lot.
I still have the urge to cut when things get rough and difficult to handle, but the fact that I dont have those scissors has really helped me.

 

[Heather]

@Bristol just curious what would it take for you to stop?

 

[Bristol]

@Bristol just curious what would it take for you to stop?

No idea if im honest, just not needing it anymore or finding an alternative that does the exact same job i suppose

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

finding an alternative that does the exact same job

I'm very interested to see if anyone has?

I think I'd just be repeating what everyone has said at this point. I slipped up about 3 years ago and before that hadn't cut for 3 yrs. some days it's easy af and other days not so much. I don't know if I'm technically done with it cause I still pick and bite and punch(very occasionally) myself.

It was quite hard in the beginning but it was definitely worth it. And it was hard but not as hard as hiding myself and dreading summer (which is my favourite season). Having to lie to people feeling guilt and shame and still cutting myself that's hard.

 

[digger]

No idea if im honest, just not needing it anymore or finding an alternative that does the exact same jo...

I've never found anything that seems to completely replicate whatever purpose it serves for me. I have though had long periods where thoughts of self harm have completely tapered off. I don't know I'll be able to trust that those thoughts will never come back - it's something I've used since early childhood in various ways, so I think it's unrealistic to think I can wipe those connections completely - but I do have some hope that it can, and hopefully at some point will, go back 'into remission' again.

 

[Heather]

@Bristol I think for me it took a long time to stop...just made the decision. It wasn't replaced with any other way of coping.

But I will say a few months ago I was beyond stressed out and I wanted to cut.

I could have instead I found red magic marker and wrote, pushing really hard on my upper thigh: I hate my life and want to die. Underline, underline and several exclamation points.

I guess it worked...I didn't cut. But I left it there until it eventually faded from showering

 

[MyLostStarGirl]

A really good friend of mine put it to me like this. It's an addiction like any other. Just like an alcoholic you have to learn to give it up completely, and sure at first it will be hard and you will want 'just one sip' but over time that will start to fade. When times get tough your first thought will be to go to that crutch. You have to be strong enough to say no. Just one sip turns into just one bottle and suddenly you are off the wagon, starting from scratch. So yeah it will be with you your whole life, but not in the sense that everyday will be the struggle you are facing now. Anyway I hope this analogy helps you as much as it helped me.

 

[Bristol]

Thats a great way to look at it, thanks for sharing

 

[cupfish]

I'm struggling with this today, right now. I gouge my belly with my fingernails out of self-hate. I'm trying right now not to go upstairs and watch myself in the mirror. Also feel like running today -- going to the graveyard and praying for death. What a f*cked up life. 54 years old, I've given every energy I have toward mental health yet here we are.

 

[Heather]

Tonight went for the red magic marker instead of a blade.

I felt myself slipping and I needed to do something other than cut.

Even though its been decades I still get those urges in times of extreme stress.

Hang in there @Bristol hugs