General Is there a possibility that she is crazy?

[J Kanobi]

Hey there,

This is my first post and I need to sort some things out. So I will explain and hope to get some thoughts to help me seeing everything clear.

During the last 5 years, my wife has told me about many years of all kinds of childhoodabuse (sexual, physical, cult, emotional) she had suffered from mostly her mother and her father. I have met these people and other people that had been around her in her childhood. Everything she says fits in the picture, the nightmares, the thousands of triggers, the anger, loneliness, guilt, the reaction of everyone involved and not involved and so on. She wrote a book in which see names quite a lot of the abuse, we read books about PTSD and she went to therapists and just everything fits together. It even fits that she is constantly doubting that what happened. You probably all know that even if you can logically reason that all that shit must have happened, in her guts she can't fully believe it and one day she is sure and the other she returns asking me if it wasn't all her fault and that her mother is a good person and going "no contact" with her (her mother fits 100% a narcissists description).

A few days ago she asked me this again and we agreed to investigate the impossible. The impossible that my wife is crazy and all these horrible things were made up. By herself or by a dream, or just because brains are f*cked up things ? We want to get to the bottom to investigate what craziness is possible, and if it would maybe all make sense from another perspective we haven't yet seen. Clarity is the goal.

So what kind of disturbed brain could she have else than the one of a PTSD sufferer?
If she invented all these things by herself she must be aware of her brain trying to lie and twist the truth all the time. And it seems unbelievable to me that she could induce all these kind of triggers nightmares and symptoms of a PTSD sufferer, and why? well craziness?

Please help me out here. Would you please name a few diagnosis that could possibly or impossibly match ?

 

[Deleted member 40995]

Hey there,

This is my first post and I need to sort some things out. So I will explain and hope to ge...

Got to say your wording could use a bit of tweaking here.
Its very normal for a PTSD sufferer to feel invalidated and doubt themselves especially if they have traumatic amnesia and maybe don't remember all the pieces. That doesn't make her crazy, its just part of the disorder. Shame and guilt (also part of the disorder) can make sufferes feel like they have invented part of their story (even when they haven't).
Now, even if your wife is suffering from another mental illness, she is not "crazy". It is possible she does suffer from another mental illness, although from what you describe it sounds a lot like self doubt which is common amongst PTSD sufferers and not another mental illness. Either way, the thing to keep in mind is that your wife is struggling with something right now and needs only love and support and not to be called "crazy"

 

[Ronin]

Clarity is the goal.

Is it?

Last I noticed in anything mental health, clarity wasn't the goal for a goood long while. Stabilization & survivability of whatever it is that's coming up, is.

Doesn't sound like an useful thing, to spin her deeper - regardless of where the 'truth' about it is.

Edited to add: We can't diagnose anyone. It just isn't possible, and wouldn't be ethical & responsible if it were.

 

[EveHarrington]

There is no disorder that makes up memories AND physical symptoms. Yes, people try to fake PTSD, but the mind doesn’t do this on its own. Your wife has trauma effects, period. (IMHO).

She doubts because this shit is hella-hard to face, ESPECIALLY when going no contact with an abuser.

BELIEVE ME when I say that all this doubt stems from desperately wanting that parental love. I’m there NOW. I have to fight with all that I have in order to not deny the abuse, because if I deny I can live in a happy-fake world where my dad actually loves me.

 

[Sideways]

Does she have a T currently? Is this something her T is encouraging?

It sounds like working on acceptance would help. I’m not sure that what you’re doing is a great way to bring about some acceptance.

I can’t really see how “investigating if I might be crazy” would help.

 

[Freida]

I think everyone with ptsd decides at some point they made it all up. I still do. I've even asked my Ts -- "could it be that I'm just nuts and my mental illness is that I want people to feel sorry for me?"

They agree it is possible that mental illnesses with that symptom exist. But - they constantly reassure me that ptsd symptoms are not fakeable because of the physical reactions they observe during treatment. What I don't see in your post is if she is in therapy. If not, that will help her tremendously because it will give her a definitive diagnosis rather than guessing what might be wrong. Then the therapist can build a plan of treatment to help her fix whatever might be wrong -- ptsd or not.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @J Kanobi... I think it's easier to think your crazy than believe what happened is true. Nobody wants to believe they were raped, abused, tortured, beaten, burned... Who would?.. So let's just say I'm crazy... Nah it doesn't work like that.
Your wife knows deep down this shit happen. The memories that come back are repressed.. But they are real.... Nobody would make this stuff up.
I'm sorry it happened to your wife.. Now she needs to deal with it.. Therapy, medication, support groups.. Learning new ways of thinking... It's going to be hell.. But she has you.... Your supporting her and that's alot.. Take care of her and yourself

 

[DarkOne35]

As a Severe and Chronic PTSD sufferer, I would say that the disorder would do that. It makes you feel like the trauma/traumas never happened. I even told my husband one day that I don't believe that those traumas really happened to me, but then the next day, I remembered that it really did happen to me. Hell, there are some days when I disassociate so bad that things that we were previously discussing, I don't remember at all. So, it is a symptom of PTSD to forget, or not think that the trauma or traumas that happened to you really happened to the sufferer.

 

[Abstract]

It sounds like you care and believe her but she is demanding you investigate the alternatives to check if its real. I have to say I spent years doing that. Obsessive research. My favorite was factitious disorder which is a bit ridiculous in retrospect as I have still only told 2 people in real life about the PTSD and can't get myself back into therapy. I even struggle to discuss my difficulties on line. If I was attention seeking that would be different. Delusions are a possibility I looked at but in truth they don't cause all the things you describe. The real reactions to harmful people and reminders of them. Unfortunately for a good lot of us who struggle a lot with denial and acceptance it can be a long time before this part of it lessens.

It might be helpful for her to list alternatives and point out why they don't fit or it might not. It sounds like that's what you are trying to do. It however never really stopped this part of my circular thinking in truth. I now just see it as a trauma symptom. A form of processing the reality of the trauma. At some point it might be more helpful for her to work on labeling those thoughts as that, a trauma Symptom, and trying to ignore it to an extent if that makes sense. That ended up being more useful for me at a certain point even though I of course don't believe it at times.

Maybe she would benefit joining here as it helps if you see others thinking the same way. That for me was the most helpful thing when trying to believe I was not just making it up and with a totally different mental health issue of a whole different type.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

crazy

What exactly is "crazy" to you?

I grew up in a cult. I forced myself to believe none of it happened for 10 yrs. It was just a dream. To the point of acutally not having memory of all that happened as late as 18 and 19 yrs old. During the trauma it was happening to someone else, not me, which, I think, made it easier for me to deny it ever happened.

I also worshipped, quite literally, both of the cult leaders even after I left the cult, after the 10 yrs of denial and many years into my current therapy. I refused to admit that they were wrong or abusers in anyway. I was much like a rabid dog and would attack my therapist for even thinking they were anything but good, justified, and holy. I was still acting out the rituals and I was 10, 12, 14 yrs removed from it. What was odd was I couldn't remember what happened. Things were in super fragmented pieces when I started therapy but I was still doing the rituals. I was still acting out the cult. I had zero idea why but I had to. I couldn't stop myself. It was worse then an addict wanting their drug of choice. I felt like I had no other choice. I couldn't answer what I thought would happened if I just didn't do them but I still just had to. The cult dictated my actions and my core beliefs about myself, them, religon, the world....everything.

My step father (one of the cult leaders) was my first love and still is defined in my head as such. He is the center of many sexual fantisies still today.

It is not unusual for someone to want to believe their trauma was just a dream and not real. That way it doesn't have to hurt. I am just crazy. That doesn't hurt near as bad to say "this did happen to me".

 

[+littlebird]

Thank you for starting this thread, and thanks to all who have joined into this conversation. You have helped me tremendously.

I have amnesia and deeply fear my returned memories are not true, even though I've been able to accurately describe places I've never been. I've also seen and recognized someone from my memories. His name was even correct. Even with that, I am tortured with the fear is isn't true, and guilt for falsely accusing a good person.

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, but I was also told not to trust anything I remember. That has made things much more difficult.

Reading the comments here saying the physical reactions of PTSD are real and mean there was true trauma have helped me. To hear that the fear of it not being true is common and other people have therapists who tell them to believe their memories is really encouraging. Thank you!

Maybe hearing about or reading the experiences of others would help your wife, too. The combination of believing/fear it's not true/guilt for false accusations is pure anguish. And if it involves family (mine does not) that must be so difficult! Your poor wife! My heart goes out to her. I am so sorry you and your wife are going through this pain. I hope you both can find the answers and support you are looking for.