Childhood Is This Normal? Sexual Behaviour?

[CDKLaw]

Is it normal for a father to touch or tickle or lightly grab his children's private parts- even as a joke? He would sometimes pinch my buttocks as a joke. I really hated it. Apart from being extremely physically and psychologically abusive, he used to start conversations about sex with me as a child (7-11)like about how he didn't find porn sexy or about contraception choices. He would insist on being naked all the time and sleep in the living area. When I had to get ready for school and had to go into the living area, he would be asleep with an erection often.
I regularly have dreams that something else happened with me and him. I am terrified something happened but could it actually just be dreams and nothing more? Is the above behaviour abusive? Or just inappropriate? How could this behaviour affect a girl?

 

[Deleted member 37066]

That sounds like the usual behavior of a sexual predator.

 

[loui50]

Is it normal for a father to touch or tickle or lightly grab his children's private parts- even as a jok...

My set father use to pull me out of bed, pull my underwear into a weggie and slap my butt when I was 14 and laugh while I yelled and cried for him to stop. My previous T told me it was inappropriate but not abusive. I have yet to tell my current T. I just posted a whole thread about thinking I might have repressed memories.

 

[hodge]

Not normal, @CDKLaw. Not normal at all. That is not a joke.

 

[CDKLaw]

My set father use to pull me out of bed, pull my underwear into a weggie and slap my butt when I was 14...

Really? See, that definitely sounds dodgy. That's like the kind of thing my father would have done. He also used to come into my room and stand over me in the night sometimes. It really freaked me out. He disgusted me so much. I am so scared too that I am repressing something but how can I know?

 

[CDKLaw]

T

That sounds like the usual behavior of a sexual predator.

Really? Do you think? So you think he got a weird kick out of that? Or maybe he thought it was normal and okay?

 

[Friday]

It can be normal. Which is why you'll hear people talk about all of these things in the context of normal. Tickling/pinching their kids or having grown up in loving homes where those two things happened. Casual nudity, is another thing that is often normal, in many perfectly healthy / non-abusive families. As is having "the sex talk" not as a single awkward convo maaaaaybe once (and the rest left to schools and friends), but instead having it be an ongoing conversation, starting early & often, with gradually increasing content and detail appropriate to age & maturity.

What abuse does, though, is it takes normal things... Like playing with your kids, or sleeping nude, or making sure your children are educated... And twists and perverts them into everything wrong.

 

[Deleted member 37066]

T

Really? Do you think? So you think he got a weird kick out of that? Or maybe he thought it was normal...

Yea I am fairly certain that's how they operate. Women versions of sexual predators will bend over a lot in front of their target, and perhaps escalate it to nude as bait for children. I am assuming the male was showing his erection in a sort of sexual bait.
Always talking sexual and about pornography. My uncle tried that with me, bringing up pornography but I resisted before it got overly physical. It's a damn shame really. They know it's not okay but their pleasure out weighs the risk in their minds I believe.

 

[CDKLaw]

It is odd that the opinions on whether or not this is normal are so diverse. All I know is all these behaviours made me feel really ashamed and dirty. I would have preferred to not have to deal with any of it because I already had the violence and verbal abuse to deal with.

 

[Deleted member 37066]

I understand where you are coming from and am sorry you had to deal with that.
They're incredibly conniving and as children we struggle to understand what exactly is going on until later in life.

 

[CDKLaw]

I understand where you are coming from and am sorry you had to deal with that.
They're incredibly connivi...

I am still struggling to understand it! I just feel as if I could get to grips with understanding it, it won't bother me anymore.

 

[Silver.]

When you say he would tickle or touch or lightly grab private parts, do you mean, just your bottom, like when you say he would pinch it? or do you mean all of your bits?
a bottom? parents often pinch their child's bums, it's an affection thing, within the family setting Friday described
but pinching, tickling, or touching other parts? nope...not appropriate