It's Been a While - Back Now

[becvan]

Aww Zam. I know divorces are very hard on the kids; however, it's better to leave then stay and it get nasty.

My parents divorced when I was 12 and now I wish they had have done it way before that. My PTSD is mostly from them.

Hope your feeling better soon.

bec

 

[Deleted member 541]

Zam,


Bec just said the very things that I would have said to you. Divorce is so hard on kids, but if there was violence, emotional, or physical.....It's for the best.

Help her in any way that you can to help her understand that sometimes people just fall out of love, and it's ok......Sometimes that happens.....

Hang in there......I'm pulling for you.

Wen

 

[Zamboni]

becvan and Wen

Thank you. Along with all of this other stuff, I have to raise the three kids. I have them about 80% of the time. I think it goes very well. My X is actually quite off. She fills them full if one sided information. I don't know when I should tell my oldest daughter some information. I have NOT said one thing about the divorce, I try and stay neutral. It is very hard not to say anything because I want to be heard.
So I just keep it inside and it is very challenging. I give me kids love, understanding, I listen to them, I play with them and stay consistance with their discipline ( I don't believe in spanking..go figure). Participate in their school activites. But I get worn down. But I love being a father.

I went to therapy yesterday. WOW.

Have a great day both of you.


_zam

 

[Deleted member 541]

Zam,

My only words to you on wanting to defend yourself and be heard.....Kids are smart, and they will know and figure it out in time..

It must be very hard on your part not to say anything, but you're doing the right thing hon, and a damn good job to boot.

So therapy was a WOW....Or a WOW moment???? Glad it was a WOW either way...I guess WOW is a good thing...lol

Wen

 

[Zamboni]

Wow...

Well. 1. I really trust this person. 2. She is very straight forward. 3. She said I take on too much 4. I have a lot of work to do. 5. I am very glad that I found this site. 6. I am going to walk into the valley. 7. I am not going to quit this time.

You all are very nice

-Zam

 

[becvan]

Be proud of yourself Zam. Your doing the right thing by biting your tongue, for you kids. That makes you.. a great dad. Also, your trying to get better and willing to go to therapy. Another pat yourself on the back moment.

Well done!

bec

 

[Zamboni]

Therapy

To those who have gone to therapy and those considering going, I have this to say, " it is A LOT of work." I went today. I went because I want to heal. I was asked a simple question and it triggered my emotions and my sadness came up. And it hurt. But I will learn to feel and not be ashamed, because I don't want to stay here, I want to continue to work through my stuff. I will.

To those who are considering going and those who want to stop because it's hard and it hurts. It will be worth it.

I hope all is well,

- Zam