Its Not That Bad... Excuse Me??

[CBatheart]

I've had anxiety from earthquakes for over a year now. I went to the counselor at school and she said "you're safe now, get over it". Here I am almost 2 years later only just getting professional counseling. I never reached out for help because I couldn't express how I felt. Too many years of listening to others problems and giving advice and just shoving my problems aside unwillingly. So I have no idea how to explain how bad the anxiety makes me feel. Mum told me to suck it up and move on. I tried to tell her it doesn't work that way. I mean it came to light when I starting having panic attacks in science when they were teaching earthquakes and my amazing teacher who has had PTSD explained it to me and supported me through the unit. But now I feel like I have hit a dead end.

I see posts of people saying that they end up in hospital from anxiety and panic attacks. I haven't ended up in hospital. People going on about different medication. I am not on any major medication just sleeping pills. I have regular panic attacks but I can still live my life reasonably okay (on the outside), it's just not the same. At all. So my anxiety doesn't seem so bad to others.

My problem? I don't know how to get the help I need. I'm only 16, I can't just go find a therapist because they need parent consent and I don't have the money. So I sit here writing this at 12:17am with a torch in my pocket because I am alone in the lounge and if there is an earthquake, well, I have a torch. Even on here I don't know how to explain how helpless, hopeless, fearful, angry, betrayed, sad and nauseous anxiety makes me feel. I hold my composure to the outside world, for everyone who doesn't understand and say "It can't be that bad". That is most people. and I don't know how to cry out for help. I just don't know...:cry:

 

[Abstract]

CB,

You are not alone in those feelings. I suspect almost all of us have been at the receiving end of the "just get over it" stuff. You being that young and reliant on your parents is difficult. You shouldn't be alone with this.

It might also help to know that many with PTSD hide it relatively well. Not everyone is hospitalised and such. It doesn't mean it isn't very painful on the inside.

Have you asked your parents about therapy? I am assuming they know your diagnoses? I know that means nothing when it comes to being understood but it is a first step.

What has happened treatment or diagnoses wise so far?

 

[CBatheart]

My parents think that it is self diagnosed for starters. Its not. I went to the counselor for the first time and she was like this is what is going on, gave me nothing to help not strategies, nothing and I went back once more and never went back after that. It took numerous trips to the hospital with chronic headaches and a head specialist to convince my mum I needed help and my mum isn't horrible or anything, she's awesome but her way of dealing with the earthquakes is to get all defensive about it. She recently thinks that she has gotten over it. So i am in counselling now but it is very basic counselling (I only have a few more funded sessions left) and I don't feel that I am going to cope completely when the sessions are over. She's overseas at the moment though and I just feel like I am falling apart. But as usual My family has no idea because I don't tell them because they just brush it off. So treatment and diagnosis? a little Counselling and the first counselor told me i had PTSD and the 2nd one hasn't actually given a diagnosis of what is causing me to feel and think what I do and again I just don't know how to tell her how bad it is. She thinks I'm getting better. In some aspects yes. In most, I don't feel that i am.

 

[Philippa]

You sounds just like me when I was 16...to a T.

Everyone came to me with their problems expecting me to advise them (and then hardly ever took my advice anyway), but no one would listen to mine. Everyone told me to suck it up and get over it, and that it can't be that bad...and all I can say is they DON'T know what they are talking about!!! One 'friend' even told me I should get a "it's not that bad" Bach remedy.:rolleyes:

I didn't know how to reach out and ask for help either...it was the hardest thing in the world for me.

It sucks when people don't believe you. No one took me seriously when I was 16, and female especially. Your situation at the moment sounds like how it is for many people, needing help but not having the money that is needed to get that help, and no one around you is actually taking you seriously. My parents did not get that I was depressed until 10 years after I'd been through it, and was coming out the other end...which was as much use as tits on a bull. They STILL do not even acknowledge that I have had CPTSD for over 10 years now.

I wish I could tell you it will get easier...but you may need to find ways of coping yourself. Do you get into art as therapy? Any kind of creative work can be therapeutic, especially if it is done with intent to be just as therapy.

 

[Nebulustrix]

CB- Comparing your PTSD to others who've been through worse than you and trying to hide it or brush it off as something to just "get over" will only make it worse, because you are failing to recognize the problem that exists.

I have PTSD, have never been hospitalized over it, don't take any medications, and have had minimal therapy/counseling, and I've gone through phases where I've done this "explaining away" to myself, because everything I hear about others with PTSD sounds so much worse than mine. But I had to step away from making comparisons and "own" my personal problem with PTSD before I was able to make any real progress.

One thing that helps is knowing you are not alone and that your feelings are real and valid. It also helps to remind yourself that PTSD is not rational - you are not going to be able to think or explain your symptoms away. You are not going to be able to just "get over it".

PTSD stems from an emotional association with a traumatic event. Any locations, sounds, experiences, etc that remind you of that trauma will trigger your emotional response, even if you know "logically" that these reminders are not something you need to be afraid of and will not necessarily mean a repeat of your trauma.

If you are not going to be able to spend much time with a therapist/counselor, probably the best way to help you self-regulate will be to break your panic attacks down - First by recognizing and acknowledging that you are having a panic attack and that's OK. You don't have to try and make the attack stop or explain it away.

Next, figure out what triggers or stressors led up to the panic attack. What were you exposed to before you had the panic attack that was reminding you of your trauma? When you were feeling tense and anxious, what was going on around you? It could be a generalized experience or location, or it could be a very specific sensory exposure, like a smell or a sound.

Then, work on exposing yourself to that trigger/stressor in small doses, while in a safe and regulated setting, to help condition your emotions to recognize that the trigger/stressor does not always equal a traumatic event.

It's something that takes time and patience. It won't make your symptoms go away, but it will help you bring your anxiety down to a manageable level and lessen your extreme reactions like panic attacks.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Safety....it is next to impossible to explain safety issues to anyone who doesn't have them. (I get it...TOTALLY!)

I have been told "your feelings of being unsafe are irrational. There are locks on the doors." It's not just physical safety. It's emotional safety. It's spiritual safety. It's so much more.

 

[Hashi]

CB, I'm sorry you're struggling and lacking the support you need. Have you tried ringing a helpline? Maybe one aimed at supporting young people and helping them connect to services. I'm wondering if a helpline could point you towards where you can get more counselling at low cost, and perhaps help with persuading your Mum that this is needed.

Being told to get over it or suck it up is horrible and completely unhelpful. People just don't understand. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[arfie]

I like to compare the psychic wounds of PTSD to physical wounds. You can develop gangrene or other complications from a paper cut. It is not the initial wound which causes the infection, but the exposure and other etceteras after the fact that cause the complications.

But I will second nebultrix's spiel about not comparing your PTSD to that of other sufferers. There are simply too many other variables involved. Pain is pain and you should take it as an indicator.

 

[CBatheart]

I know not to compare my PTSD to others but I think my parents do because my uncle developed PTSD hours after the 2nd earthquake and was on strong medication, he's doing much better now though which is good. But I think my parents look at what he had and what I have and think mine isn't nearly as bad because of how much more severe his seemed. In response to @Hashi , I do talk to helplines, They are both for youth, one for depression and the other for all kinds of things. Its helps having them to turn to when I need it but help works better for me in a physical sense.

 

[Abstract]

CB,
Do you think your parents would be open to reading up about PTSD? There is a quite a good article written about it on here that covers it.

Can you get a letter from the first therapist stating the problem or even better ask if she would do a joint session with your parents? She could explain that not everyone presents in the same way.

It might be worthwhile considering doing a little research to see what you think you need and where to find it. Get all the facts and then present it to your parents and tell them this is what you think you need.

It may help to ask to be referred to a psychiatrist for an official diagnoses. In a lot of countries that can help open up some treatment doors. Someone familiar with your system may be able to advise if this is worth a go.

 

[CBatheart]

I'm not trying to shoot down all your suggestions but they thing is I have tried most of what you have said. I asked Mum to read up on it and she thinks I have self diagnosed myself which I haven't. I've done a joint session with her already and mum knows everyone deals with things differently. I find it easier on me to go about this alone than having to confront someone who doesn't accept my feelings/ perspective when I tell them how I am feeling.