Jealous of your therapist

[Scarlet13]

So, does any one else ever feel jealous of their therapist?

I really did not struggle with this (maybe a little bit), but now its hitting me hard.

My therapist is beautiful, with a family, highly educated, intelligent, gets to travel, go on vacations.

I know she sleeps really well.
She is healthy and does not seem to struggle with PTSD.

I have a lot of things in my life, but I am still healing from benzo withdrawal and working on my marriage.

I have lately just been so struck with jealousy. I know in a way that it is improvement some how that I think I could even possibly be like her.

I know also that jealousy points to unmet needs.

 

[LuckiLee]

I think you're envious. Not jealous. Two very different things.

We're all envious sometimes.

 

[Stephernovas]

share that shit with her.

I don't believe anyone's life is as perfect as we perceive, so I don't get super envious, but I get how you can feel annoyed and so frustrated when you have so much on your plate and they are hiding theirs and acting as if there is no issue. That's what makes me most mad.

 

[EveHarrington]

I know therapists vary in how much they share about their private lives. I know very little about my therapist. I know where she used to live, which was kind of a big duh based on the fact that I knew which trauma hospital she used to work in. And I know what debilitating medical condition she suffers from as she shared A) why she has to sometimes cancel and B) to share her experiences with her struggles with maintaining friendships——to say to me “I truly get it and I’m not feeding you a line”.

I guess you could say I’m not jealous or even envious of her. I know she has “more” than I do, I suppose, but I also know that my story is unfinished. I’m moving forward and healing and my life is getting better.

 

[Friday]

I almost never have to deal with jealousy of any kind, somwhen it does hit? Holy green eyed monster Batman! :eek: It reeeeeeally throws me on my ass. :wtf:

I know also that jealousy points to unmet needs.

^^^ This right here is a big part of that.

But those same needs & wants have been going unmet for a long time, and I wasn’t jealous before, so what gives?

For me, it usually means something else (unrelated to our comparative lives), has triggered it

 

[expectingbetter]

@LuckiLee could you please explain the difference between jealous and envious to me

 

[Fiadh]

I was jealous I suppose of what I thought was my therapists ‘perfect’ life, the way she held everything together and presented herself just made me annoyed that I couldn’t do that. But then she disclosed some past trauma of her own and slowly and the regularly started to talk about how un-perfect her life really was- kind of went against what I’d built up in my head. It wasn’t very therapeutic at the point when it led to a role reversal were I wanted to help her and would worry about what was going on in her life too much. Although I get that some of the stuff was relevant to my situation- other stuff (little stuff) wasn’t and although it made her more human, it did complicate the whole therapy process.

 

[Scarlet13]

Well, because they have to.
I had a T who did not hide her issues. She was a bad T.
I am working through my marriage problems and my T is going on a wonderful vacation
It is just so easy to think she has this perfect enchanted life.

 

[Scarlet13]

This was in response to @Stephernovas .
Therapists have to appear healthy and like they have their shit together.
You wouldn't want a basket case of therapist.

 

[Stephernovas]

This was in response to @Stephernovas .
Therapists have to appear healthy and like...

False. It’s appropriate levels of self-disclosure. I don’t need to hear about you falling apart, but I do need to hear you are a real person and you’re not just shooting rainbows and sparkles out of your ass every time you speak to me. If that’s the case, then please don’t come near me. That’s not menta health, that’s crap. It’s not realistic, and I’m not going to compare myself against these unachievable high standards. Byeeee.

 

[expectingbetter]

There are therapists with very successful, almost unrealistic lives, but they still can be good therapists.

 

[LuckiLee]

Envy is the emotion when you want a possession someone else has.


Jealousy is the emotion when you fear you may be replaced in the affection of someone you love or desire.