Today I went out after a couple of days at home. I went on the bus to a local town where I was able to buy the last of decorating items I need to finish my en suite. I started it months ago and was doing really well and then I hit a brick wall and everything went downhill. I started on it again yesterday and im going to finish it in the morning. I’m quite pleased with the sleep routine. I did eat a lot of chocolate and sweets today but it’s not a crime and I won’t be doing it again for a while. My cousin is coming to see me tomorrow so I’m going shopping early in the morning. I spoke to a neighbour today who has helped me a lot in the last few months. It definitely gave me a lot to think and I’m at the point now where I can just let my kids come back in their own time and not sweat it and not feel like I’m always being held accountable for every single thing, wether it’s my fault or not. They might not talk to me for years to come but I have my own life and it’s time I put myself first instead of wasting my time being down about it all the time there’s no point, I can’t control them, the only thing I can do is control my own thoughts and actions. I do still see my sons two daughters who live with their mum so I’m grateful for that. I’ve decided to say to myself every day, that I deserve the best things in life and I will continue to repeat ot constantly until i believe it.
A few days ago, I ordered a bread maker and a dehumidifier which are being delivered tomorrow afternoon. For some reason my apartment has high levels of humidity sometimes but it’s likely because it doesn’t get much sun.
I went and sat on my balcony this morning to get morning light and I’m just about to go and sit outside again now because apparently it signals to your brain the day is drawing to a close.
