Keep communicating or not.....

[Ibil]

Hi All!

A messages from The Netherlands.

Situation: My husband has PTSD, and left the house since 2 months ( i know he stays 7 days a week at the military base, dont answers calls/messages from me, he totally shot down,trowing himself at his work and also not answering calls/message from family/old collegues from his previouse military base)

Question:
I only sent my husband one in a while ( 1 message in 2/3 weeks ) with just that I love him and im there for him, or that he can come home if he is ready and if h likes to talk or not talk that that's fine.

I try to give him his space....

I do read diffrent opinions from doctors about the communicating part(spouse/familiy side)....
Some say keep in touch with them although they are in the silent modus.

Other says : Don't contact them at all....

What do you guys think/know?

Many thanks

 

[Osa]

I am experiencing the same and have the same questions as you do.

Would love to follow the thread

 

[Gisicul]

I'm struggling with the same question

 

[Wejubuz]

Not to oversimplify - but the reason doctors have conflicting opinions is because we (sufferers) have such a range of needs. So it can't be one size fits all. It can even vary by what is setting us off. Sorry - I wish I could offer more..but....

 

[Evem]

Sorry, sounds tough. Two months is a long time and I'm sure you miss him. You seem to be doing great and that certainly doesn't sound like you are smothering him.

Since you don't know for sure, I would say less is more and I think the amount you are doing is just right.

Now that he knows you are there for him and he can come home any time, maybe go even lighter than that. Maybe a light update of what you have been up to and positive things that have happened and short and sweet.

When he comes back you can talk about what he needs when he is like that.

P.S. I am terrible at following my own advice :rolleyes:

 

[Sehogi]

It must be hard not hearing from him. You seem to be doing good at giving him space. I believe in keeping in touch.
Maybe every week and a half just send a text. ( thinking of you, hope your ok,etc.) keep it short and sweet. Keep taking care of you.

 

[Fosu]

Hi All!

A messages from The Netherlands.

Situation: My husband has PTSD, and left the house since 2 months ( i know he...

I wish I could give you words. That does sound very trying of you and I'm sure difficult for you.

I've introduced myself on a thread here where I called myself a sufferer, undiagnosed. I have my reasons, of course - and they are beyond this: but my last partner, who I've been separated from for over two years did have PTSD. There was life events/traumatic that happened during those 9 years we were together, of course. They would act as a trigger for her; I'll be honest she was very very difficult to deal and communicate with. There were times I probably should have remained silent some of those times I did respond.

Now this is my ex; but for the longest time we tried to remain friends. Right now we are on a silent modus together. I, personally, hate it in a way but it's probably the healthiest for each of us

In your situation, I would continue doing what you are doing. I really do believe in staying in contact; it offers hope, love, and acceptance to me. I guess I'm trying to say don't it personally, no matter how hard, if he is not responding.