fuzzypenguin
Bronze Member
Processing the thoughts in my head would be great. There’s so much hurt and regret it’s overwhelming. I won’t see my therapist until fall for reasons I hate explaining and repeating to people. It’s such a process within itself. I can make it until then right? I hope so. Urges are back but they never really went away, but instead faded away into the fog and as the fog goes away they are becoming cleverer to see. Tried an online chat that I haven’t used in awhile. Last person I spoke to was suggesting resources for me after the chat. Excuse me but it doesn’t take half an hour to suggest resources that are broad and don’t relate to what I wanted to talk about. Yeah okay so it could have helped but seriously you asked me what was on my mind and all I said was that I have PTSD and here comes the resources. That irritated me so much I just left the chat. Called the person out on it, saying usually before the chat is up, resources are given out once the listener knows what’s going on more and not just throwing out resources like candy on Halloween.
Tried releasing some emotions in a healthy way but it didn’t go that way. I caved and failed. It’s small but still there. I didn’t drink tonight, much that is. A drink or two is enough for me sadly. Funny thing too, I hated drinking but now I’m warming up to it. It puts me in this state, Idk hard to explain. It’s not going to last forever, just until these feelings and emotions start to disappear then I’ll post it further back and go back to what I used to do - hardly drink.
And to think my I took a melatonin an hour ago. Well being on the phone doesn’t help.
Wrote stuff down in the orange notebook to being up next time I see my therapist or even a good listener on a chat, like damn it’s not that hard to be an active listener. I’m even a trained one on seven cups of tea. Nobody would know though cause the username I picked is random. Gotta remember to talk to someone about them. Only like twenty bullet points.. But still, some of the thoughts that I want to process more without the temptation around me..ina. Safe environment, yeah.
Tried releasing some emotions in a healthy way but it didn’t go that way. I caved and failed. It’s small but still there. I didn’t drink tonight, much that is. A drink or two is enough for me sadly. Funny thing too, I hated drinking but now I’m warming up to it. It puts me in this state, Idk hard to explain. It’s not going to last forever, just until these feelings and emotions start to disappear then I’ll post it further back and go back to what I used to do - hardly drink.
And to think my I took a melatonin an hour ago. Well being on the phone doesn’t help.
Wrote stuff down in the orange notebook to being up next time I see my therapist or even a good listener on a chat, like damn it’s not that hard to be an active listener. I’m even a trained one on seven cups of tea. Nobody would know though cause the username I picked is random. Gotta remember to talk to someone about them. Only like twenty bullet points.. But still, some of the thoughts that I want to process more without the temptation around me..ina. Safe environment, yeah.
