Learn Empathy

[Rani G2]

Human contact has been rare all these years, if I do approach them I am unable to empathise well. I do feel empathy, I can recognise emotions, but my reactions to people with pain, emotional struggles might come across somewhat cold and heartless. But, this is not how I deeply feel. I was once at a party with someone who was crying, I knew that a hug would have been appropriate at that moment, but instead I was only able to touch her arm. I find people that emotionalise too much difficult to get along with. Especially when the reasons are not understandable. Logical explanations give me more. My husband thinks, that I come across too sarcastic.

I prefer to be sorrounded with books, films and music. I do my own research on things. But I do miss a few more humans to share things with.
Is anyone dealing with a similar mindset?

Solitude is an act of mercy towards myself.

Shankara

 

[Hope1969]

I can relate very much to what you wrote. I have chalange with strong emotions. I can't express strong emotions and can't stand people starting to cry or shout without control . I freeze when people become too emotional. Usually I don't believe them. I am sure they are looking for attention. I can relate to more subtle way of expressing emotions.

In the last few years I withdrawn from society as much as possible. I love my books and music. And the internet support me in investigating what I want. People make me tired. BUT. When my son was born I felt that I cant be isolated anymore for his sake. I hate the need to socialize with the mothers on kindergarten but I do my best to "play the game".

 

[Ronin]

Gazillion issues with empathy, here, most of them different, though:

If being overwhelmed by others' emotions and their expression is (what it sounds to me at least) your main issue, is there something that is empathic that also creates distance for you? Or: Some form of expression you are comfortable with, they would read as emoting, that would not overwhelm you?

Eventually, do you have somewhere to learn expressions from?
(Not gonna lie, I have learned a lot of things from books and movies and comparing with people. Ah-right. This we don't do. That is bit tad much. Not appropriate for the situation. Wouldn't work real life. Oh f*ck that is too close to real life. Goddamn detail. Different gesture. You would get through this in X culture and not Y culture. Ditto subculture. Headspin. Go back, rinse and repeat, find things you can use.)

 

[Rani G2]

Thanks for replying Hope1969

I hate the need to socialize with the mothers on kindergarten but I do my best to "play the game".

Like you, I feel exhausted after communicating with people. Neuropsychologists might detect high sensitivity. Dealing with people is definitely work.

 

[Rani G2]

Thanks Ronin!

Go back, rinse and repeat, find things you can use.)

Will think about this.

 

[Rani G2]

Once you have realised that there is no objective external world to be found; that what you know is only a filtered and processed version, then it is a short step to the thought that, in that case, other people too are nothing but a processed shadow, and but a short step more to the belief that every person must somehow be shut away, isolated behind their own unreliable sensory apparatus. And then the thought springs easily to mind that man is, fundamentally, alone. That the world is made up of disconnected consciousnesses, each isolated within the illusion created by its own senses, floating in a featureless vacuum.
He does not put it so bluntly, but the idea is not far away. That, fundamentally, man is alone.

Peter Hoeg ( Borderliners)