In my own head, I put that "double standard effect" into the bucket labeled "symptoms". Because when I really looked at the phenomenon, and thought about it, I couldn't find any rational reason why 5 year old me should be held to a different standard than 5 year old anyone else. Something that really had an impact was actually interacting with someone who was 5. (I'm kind of picking that age because it means something to me. I don't think it matters what age you pick.) In my head, I was never 5 like the 5 year old I meet in the world now. I don't ever remember thinking, or experiencing the world, any differently than I do now. Which makes me think that "5 year old me" should have reacted to stuff like I would now. On the other hand, I know that my recollections of how I saw the world THEN can't possibly be accurate. (Can they?) Because what little kid thinks to themselves "I wonder if this is how it feels to be marched to your own execution?" Memory is a tricky thing. Perhaps not to be trusted too far. To this day, talking to a little kid kind of freaks me out because they seem so YOUNG and my brain is really sure I never was.The Double-Standard Effect (what I call the difference between how we process trauma as it happens to us vs how we see other victims of trauma that is similar to ours)
I don't think the people who recruited you actually WANTED any of you making adult decisions. They wanted you to react, not think. And they didn't actually care about playing by any kind of ethical rules, did they? They just wanted to "win". Full disclosure, I've never been in the military. I have friends who have and have spent a fair amount of time discussing this kind of stuff, but no personal experience so my qualifications here are pretty limited. Seems to me the the various military and pseudo-military organizations all pick what level of "civilized" ruling respecting they want to pay attention to. But, in the end, they want their people to do as they're told, not ask "silly" questions. In the end, I suspect that most people are fighting to stay alive and keep the people next to them alive too. Once the shooting starts, I'll bet those idealistic reasons you might have had for signing up go out the window.I can safely say that I was nowhere near equipped to make adult decisions in that moment.
Opps! I lost track of time. Got to get the dog to his vet appointment. Interesting topic! I'll be back :)