Digz
MyPTSD Pro
I was thinking today about the year that is almost over and what it's been like. It was a difficult year in many ways with lots of new memories surfacing for me, but I wanted to look upon the year in a positive light and consider what I have achieved.
This year I tackled so many memories of torture in childhood, I've expressed them in writing and sometimes directly to my T. I always knew my parents were horrible people but I have begun to realise just how evil and self-centred they were and I can congratulate myself for surviving my childhood. But not only that, I feel proud to have ended a family cycle of abuse and to have provided my 10 year old son with a loving, safe and supportive environment in which he grows and knows he is always valued.
And although I have stopped working this year as I tackle all of this and other people in my life have their opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing, I think I am doing well and doing the best thing for me at the moment. My body has been ill because of the stress of the past and choosing to deal with it is the best thing not only mentally but physically for my future. I cannot outrun my childhood, it happened, it's a horrible part of my life but dealing with it is the best way to stop it negatively effecting my future.
I have learnt to use yoga and meditation in my life for calming, I have rebuilt trust with my T and overcome transference. Whether I'll be back at work as the new school year begins in February is an unknown still for me, but I think that's okay. I can't control how the effects of the past play out, all I can do is manage them and address them as they come, stay strong and think about the joy in my present life.
What have you achieved this year?
It's a nice feeling, I must say, to think about what I've overcome rather than what I've been dealing with. :)
This year I tackled so many memories of torture in childhood, I've expressed them in writing and sometimes directly to my T. I always knew my parents were horrible people but I have begun to realise just how evil and self-centred they were and I can congratulate myself for surviving my childhood. But not only that, I feel proud to have ended a family cycle of abuse and to have provided my 10 year old son with a loving, safe and supportive environment in which he grows and knows he is always valued.
And although I have stopped working this year as I tackle all of this and other people in my life have their opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing, I think I am doing well and doing the best thing for me at the moment. My body has been ill because of the stress of the past and choosing to deal with it is the best thing not only mentally but physically for my future. I cannot outrun my childhood, it happened, it's a horrible part of my life but dealing with it is the best way to stop it negatively effecting my future.
I have learnt to use yoga and meditation in my life for calming, I have rebuilt trust with my T and overcome transference. Whether I'll be back at work as the new school year begins in February is an unknown still for me, but I think that's okay. I can't control how the effects of the past play out, all I can do is manage them and address them as they come, stay strong and think about the joy in my present life.
What have you achieved this year?
It's a nice feeling, I must say, to think about what I've overcome rather than what I've been dealing with. :)