Looking Over Your Shoulder

[suzie q]

One of the problems I have that I hate is my constant paranoia of being attacked.

Over the years, I've never been able to release that fear. I'm social and don't always stay at home (although at one point I didn't leave the house for 3 years.) I'm always on edge day or night. I find myself constantly keeping distance from people around me, watching for any thing that would put me in danger. I don't think I'm really obvious, but I can't help feeling like a cow ready for slaughter. It doesn't matter if they are male or female, old or young. I get extremely anxious and feel on "guard".

I have worked through a lot of my trauma with CBT, but feel that my mind won't let me relax in this area. Most people I meet don't like me at first even though I think I am nice and friendly. I've been told they thought I was stuck-up. That's the farthest from the truth!!

This is starting recently to make me not trust old friends and family. I'm isolating because of fear and not reality. I can't get over the feelings of being taken advantage of in ways physically, emotionally, etc... I try to meditate before going out, breathing exercises, taking others with me...it's only getting worse. :crazy:

I would like to get a handle on these fears before they take over. It's hard for me to pull out of stuff once it's gone to far. Any suggestions or experience? :eek:

 

[dust]

Hi Suzie,

I also get taken for being stand offish or snobby, but actually, I sometimes can't cope and shut down...

I'm not that afraid of being attacked anymore. The acute fear started subsiding after a course of EMDR. I am still wary of people, but not to a degree that is worrying. The therapist tells me that it would not be good to get rid of all the fear, that alertness is helpful and we need it to survive. So, I think it is good to keep other people in sight when out walking, to be aware of who is around me and to keep myself safe. Yours is more heightened right now I guess, but it is a similar pattern. I am sorry to hear it. Don't give up on going out!!!

dust

 

[louisa]

Hi Suzie,

You are doing really well - I think that it's good that you are 'social' and I think that, that way lies your destiny - maybe u will help others? As u do, infact with your posts. PTSD, depression and all the other things that plague us are a nightmare. It is the world that is wrong and not you. I am not the best person to answer your post but keep posting this way when you need, to as there are some very helpful people here, loads of love, Louisa

 

[louisa]

OOps put my comma in the wrong place there but hope u can make sense of what i said x

 

[suzie q]

Thanks Louisa!

I really appreciate your encouraging words and suggestions. It's really good to hear from you. Don't worry about the coma, I understood everything just fine! Hope to hear more from you soon.

Love and hugs your way!

 

[Paloma]

I am sooo right there with you! I am constantly assessing the threat level of every person and place around me, I often take evasive action if I think I am being followed in my vehicle. I am always seeking escape routes and defensive weapons. People who stand too close or move too quick put me on red alert...etc, etc, etc. I could be secret service without training:rofl:.

Sometimes it is worse than others...when I go from "cop" alert mode to "surrounded by dangerous monsters or enemies" mode. For me meds are helping now. They upped the dosages on stuff I am taking and I was thinking today driving to class that I was not feeling compelled to mark and track people and cars. As I walked down the hallway at school...I was normal alert, not snapping my head around at every door.

I think it is important for us hypervigilantes to keep plugging away at getting out there and doing reality checks. You are doing a helluva job:thumbs-up
It ain't easy.

 

[Anonymoose]

PTSD makes it difficult to distinguish genuine threats and possible dangers from perceived ones at times.