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Losing It Today

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@Skitzii : Glad that someone made sense of my words. :p

What kind of job would you like to do? ...or what did you learn? ...maybe you can find a job just to finance your hobbies - as strange as they might seem for the majority. Since you mentioned that you don't have a job and feel very insecure about that...maybe getting one might be the first thing to do? To get some structure again? ...sorry, if I sound stupid again. Aren't there any possibilites to get out of the city for some time and do what you love to? How is your boyfriend thinking about your hobbies?
 
@Anrish thanks again for your reply!! I'm literally looking for any job right now. Call centers aren't even calling me back. It's bad.. I have an event bartending business, but i haven't gotten a gig in 2 months.
My boyfriend is supportive of me having hobbies.. But the ones I'm into are very different to him so he's almost not supportive if you know what I mean. Ex: he's afraid of the neighbors seeing me throw knives. I haven't even gotten to show him how simple and not dramatic it is because he's afraid someone will call the cops. I dance, I've been a dancer my whole life.. But me street performing freaks him out too. Though street performing musically is normal to him.. But getting back into playing guitar is part of my trauma. I'm not ready. So I'm kind of just at home a bunch.
 
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