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Making A Difficult Decision...

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SeanCharles

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Hello Everyone! I feel like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back! Given the day I had today and the potential stress I will be walking into next week with one exception (which I need to check on officially) that being my Monday-Thursday schedule, I am expecting to be off Friday (Feb 28th) returning to work on 3-March-14! that concludes next week! This entire week, we've been under the microscope by our corporate persons (The big shots as my mom called them).

As the title of this thread states: Making a difficult decision; here are the factors as follows:

1. I had another seizure at work (which was the first one since 1997) on December 16, 2013. Being that 911 was called, an ambulance was dispatched and of course I was transported to the hospital. The admitting ER doc contacted the neurologist (on call) who restarted me on a med I had stopped previously for several reasons. I was instructed to follow up with a neurologist which has me in a catch 22... (I will explain this further)

2. Knowing what I know now, compared to what I didn't take into consideration previously with the past seizures I have had, has had on two different anti-seizure medications because the initial one I was on was not working after being on that a length of time. (I know too that I had some issues in which I literally stopped it without consulting the neurologist, which I won't explain except that I had ulterior motives at the time). I consulted with the neurologist about changing medications, he then prescribed Trileptal which was not completely working.

3. In 2008, with a recommendation from DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) I was referred to a employment specialist whom with my job coach assisted in getting me a foot in the door with the company in which I am employed with currently. (I was disabled and receiving SSI and APA (Adult Public Assistance) and had medicaid at the time. I know that completing the online application process, I was asked if I have a disability and I did answer 'yes' to the question. In terms of disclosure, I never disclosed what my disabilities are since I just don't have a single disability. As I said in 1, they know that I have seizures although they don't know the what happened to cause me to have one when I may know now compared to what the neurologist(s) in this town think which I suspect in the percentage of misdiagnosed as epileptic based on whatever evidence they took during my history without considering PTSD in that history.

Now I feel like I am looking at myself in the mirror and asking the face looking back at me, are you a lie? or is my life's work to be a slave to every company I become employed with hired to do whatever cleaning as my busy work?

4. One other consideration that I have at my disposal is obtaining working disabled 'medicaid' which from an expert who works at medical billing office has explained, they pay the bills whereas Medicare does not necessarily pay the bills and those are often the responsibility of the patient. There is another catch 22 here too... Seems everywhere I look I see c-22s! :( oh well.

If someone has any questions or needs clarity please feel free to ask or add your two cents or more.
 
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As I said in 1, they know that I have seizures although they don't know the what happened to cause me to have one when I may know now compared to what the neurologist(s) in this town think which I suspect in the percentage of misdiagnosed as epileptic based on whatever evidence they took during my history without considering PTSD in that history.
Can you clarify this sentence for me please? Are you suggesting your seizures are non-epileptic in nature?
 
My Decision that I am trying to weigh here is that I have a couple of medical conditions: Seizures and a thyroid condition... I know that both of these are being affected by my PTSD and the added work stress... As such, my decision is whether I want to initiate leaving that place on disability.

Can you clarify this sentence for me please? Are you suggesting your seizures are non-epileptic in nature?

Yes, Lucycat that is a theory of mine (theory only because I am not self-diagnosing) I was looking for links between PTSD and possibly the seizures and in the process of searching I found a post or two or three on this very forum) Considering that I had a seizure at work in 5+ years I have been with the company has had me wondering since I had not had a seizure since 1997 and I had been having some 'auras' which I am noticing still that flash as a warning but no loss of consciousness or memory issues... just a little anxiety maybe...

By leaving work I can go and have this theory verified which I can't do locally. I do not and can't get a non-epileptic diagnosis (If the case is such) locally because I don't have any specialists who specifically deal with epilepsy. The neurologist(s) in town may have me misdiagnosed. Why? I have my suspicions... Our town is smaller than the one 350 miles that I know has the doctors and a hospital equipped to do the testing required. The other issue is any hospitalizations like the one I am suggesting is going to require more than a single overnight possibly thus how am I going to cover that and not use all my vacation time...


The second medical situation is my THYROID... Right now I have my PC Doc working on that. I've had some nuclear medicine testing done with this, luckily I could turn my schedule around to coincide with my 2 days off a week to have that done. My doc has the results and was going to contact the endocrinologist about this that I actually still owe and need to deal with that.

One other choice I have to consider is the option of Medicaid over Medicare... I can get medicaid which will be working disabled medicaid... where as If I can get a disability qualification (because I am on leave to deal with my medical issues which ARE disabling and thus I am not making over the $1070 SGA limit that I am currently I think I can safely get what I want... Again there a few other factors I need to weigh here as I said earlier... Hopefully this clarifies things a bit.
 
Hi @Geordie. Just a comment on your seizures. You're in America, right? I don't know too much about how the health care system works there but can you not ask for a second opinion? From what I have read on other threads and in the chat room it sounds very possible that you have psychogenic non-epileptic seizures and it worries me that you haven't got this checked out and are still taking epilepsy medications which may not be appropriate. I have also read that you do not trust the neurologist who has diagnosed you with epilepsy. Would it be possible for you to ask for a second opinion?

If the testing requires lengthy hospitalisation would that not be covered by sick leave at work? You shouldn't have to use vacation time or quit your job for this.
 
@Bedbug Yes, I am in America, I'm in Alaska which is and isn't the US. In terms of asking for a second opinion, but going the 350 miles I have to travel is exactly what I am doing to get the second opinion and hopefully get my medical records (even locally) updated. As for using Sick Leave, that's what I this decision is in essence... I am trying to consider my options for addressing my medical conditions while also considering the possibility of quitting... (I can't just terminate my job and not have an income) I am considering on this same coin to fight for Disability... Basically Sick pay requires me to be absent from work 2 days prior to requesting sick pay... It sucks, but since I am also in a union (which is almost useless in a few ways) It's got some up and downs This decision is do I want to start with Short-Term Disability and see if I need to move to LTD... while addressing the concerns mentioned here.

In terms of the neurology clinic, I can't exactly see my neurologist because "I quit therapy." I didn't and I don't wish to know 'what therapy' he was referring to! The way I see this, and I know it's bad to see it this way is "He's playing one big head game."

If I can avoid using my upcoming vacation pay allotment which I believe will 6 weeks since I have made the 6 year mark (I should be attending the corporate dinner in which they recognize employees who have been there 5 years and those who reach 10 years. The dinner seems to be done bi annually which for me is the 6th year.

Right now too, I have not made my decision yet, I am at least weighing my options. I know that I can't keep taking the stress from the job in my current medical state or I suspect the phoenix will not rise again! (in other words the phoenix has reached death). I hope by saying that I am not leading people to think I am considering self-death, on the contrary, I am not interested in that. Rather what I mean is that some time, death will win the fight...

Besides, March 1 I turn 45! I am not getting any younger AND I am getting tired of feeling like Cinderella! (I will have to explain this sometime...)
 
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In the UK we have a three day wait before sick pay starts. Losing this money would hit me hard, so I understand your reluctance to take any time off, but I'm really concerned about you taking medications for something you don't think you have. I hope you are able to find a way to get this investigated and get an accurate diagnosis and treatment plan. If you really can't afford to lose two days pay before becoming eligible for sick pay, then might it be worth considering using vacation time just to get this investigated and diagnosed? Depending on what you find out, this might help with your decision of whether to quit your job and apply for disability.

I don't know enough about your situation or the system you have there to really offer you any advice. I just thought I might be able to offer you some support as I do know a little about non-epileptic seizures.

I wish you well!
 
My other issue to this whole mess is that while I am on the front end with medical conditions, my dear mother is beating herself up since she's having to pay the medical bills. She's trying to urge me to get medicaid as a secondary when I know the implications that any state benefits has on someone who receives Disability. My mom doesn't seem to understand me... She thinks that 'I am in a negativity' funk of some sort...
 
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