Manipulative Teen

[Philippa]

We do not feel the mother took our warning to heart, because she said "that I should just get over the fact that our son separated my ribs causing breathing problems for around 45 days".

Well, that's a horrible thing to say to someone in your position. Get over a physical assault which caused you breathing problems, thus endangering your life. That's not something you need to "get over" in anyone elses time other than yours...and she should be a little more compassionate of your situation...which it sounds like she isn't.

Even as a Christian that trauma happened a year ago, this was around the time the dating started secretly and I still have some problems with my ribs on the right side. That makes it hard for me personally to just "get over it".

I think it was a terrible thing to say to you. You will move on from that in your own time, and heal in your own time. It's not for anyone else to say that, and I find people who do to be so ignorant and stupid. I know I said it myself when I was much younger and stupid and ignorant. Hopefully some day she will also come to realize it isn't an effective strategy for helping someone in pain, nor is it showing compassion in any way when that is what is needed.

 

[Raj]

It was not too nice. I am much concerned about the girl right now she is talking about taking pill! This is because he has not found a way to run away to be with her, mother refuses to listen to us. Also concerned about sons as he has now stated it is no big deal girl is also cheating on him.

 

[Philippa]

Do you mean the contraceptive pill Raj?

 

[Philippa]

The last statement is pretty crazy. So, he doesn't mind that his girlfriend is cheating on him? Hmmmm...ok, well, then he must be the most secure within himself young boy I've ever heard of, but his control issues would suggest the exact opposite of a person who is that secure within themselves.

He clearly doesn't care about this girl at all.

 

[Raj]

No sorry my stress and seizure meds are kicking my behind. She is taking about taking pills (plural). These two "teens" don't care about themselves or others cheating, lying, manipulating and now stealing from their parents and we think using our son is downing whoever's prescription drugs he can find along with caffeine pills and energy drinks. Now our son is talking about being a homeless gigalo to support the girl and visit her before and after they married (to get an apartment). In some ways I am counting down until he is 18 yet freaked out he won't stay out of the hospital or jail that long. I prefer the jail for him.

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry you are going through this. My oldest daughter is bi polar and has borderline personality disorder and was a handful as a teen. So I have experienced similar things. She was not diagnosed because of her age (teenagers act in such ways). A friend/therapist that listened and supported me told me what the course of her life would be like, and was absolutely correct. Went from breaking rules to laws, having several children, jail time, drugs, and lots of suffering. She is 37 now and still trying to pull it together. It is tough.

You must find a way to take care of yourself through all of this. Wishing you a miracle!

 

[Raj]

Trying to focus on the four of us that are still a functioning family unit and praying for the one that wants to be in lala land! It is just so , so very sad and I am already feeling like a big enough loser.

 

[Philippa]

I'm sorry you feel like a huge loser, but I don't see any reason why. This isn't your fault, or your wifes.

I say let them do their crazy plans and see where it lands them. See how long your son can handle being a frikkin' GIGILO :D to support his deadbeat girlfriend! That's the single most hilarious thing I think I've heard all year...but yeah, it's sad at the same time. Young people can be so stupid, but they need to work it out, and it looks like these two are aiming for the hard way. Let them learn...just don't pick them up when they fall, or they'll know they can keep doing it and there will always be someone to bail them out. Sometimes you gotta be tough. I'd say kick him out on his ears and see how long he lasts without his family.