Thanks for this thread and all of the posts. Now I will Hi jack it unless a mod moves me elsewhere
Decision time for me. MJ has been legal here for several years, but still considered reason for termination where I work. Now, due to increased business and decreasing willing workers, they have lifted the screening for it. I have to decide on my own if I will use it or not and I am scared to death of it.
It was always the drug of choice,
@Friday mentioned "choose your mood" and that is a resounding yep for me. trouble is, when I used it I never fell out of the mood, and would still be watching episodes of Mr. Ed and laughing at the talking horse if I hadn't decided to at least give real life a try. Then I went to work for a company that tested and that was the end of me having a choice.
There are a lot of times that I miss it. There are a lot of times I am grateful for having a life without it.
You know what? I am talking about the negative side of what I shouldn't even be looking at if I know it has ANY negative sides. The very question "should I use again" carries it's own answer.
Arthritic pain, a lifetime of trauma, bowel disorders from so many emergency surgeries i think in terms of suture scar lengths instead of events, I can convince myself I am lucky to have lived long enough to legally cure my ails.
the memories of lost energy, complacency in the face of danger, poor decision making skills and a vast history with the drug and all of it's associates both human and pharmaceutical just make me feel lucky I didn't have the option for the past 35 years.
Thanks again for all of the info. I cannot stay with a decision for more than a day at a time- i am spinning here. I do KNOW one thing for sure- I am proud of my "sobriety" and would miss it. It was hard to hang onto but just look at all the neat stuff that came with it! Maybe just a few more years..........