Lately i feel my suicidal ideations are turning to violent ones. I flipped on my mom last night to the point that i got in her face. I wont go into why i got mad, just that it was a typical reaction of heightened emotion when treated like im just a bad person not working on her problems. I told her she didmt have to work on my problems, just know what it is and give me understanding and love sometimes. She told me i needed to check into inpatient ladt night. I kind of agreed with her other than leaving my one year old even if i know hell be fine there. I called crisis hotline and she talked me out of going because she said if something triggers me there it may turn to involuntary. Now im scared to even discuss with my pdoc cuz im afraid shell commit me and who would be my babys mother.