My bad decision

[ahershey]

I am a single mom. I left D.V two years ago. I was diagnosed with PTSD four years ago. I was homeless for half a year. A rapid re-housing program helped us get an apartment. For a year I spent 90% of my income on rent. I thought it wasn't worth it. So, I bought a travel trailer and struck a deal with my grandma and my ex (not the abuser) who lives in her back house. I thought to help my grandma, ex and our son who lives with him.

Unfortunatly, I moved myself and girls into a hostile situation. My son is very rude and negative. I have no parental authority over him. He only says rude things to me. Sometimes my ex will discipline him. Sometimes he will defend my son. My ex views altercations between the kids and us in a different way than I do. I want to resolve issues. He wants to place blame.

So, now I can't eat, sleep and I am hyperaroused (angry). That last is a new one for me. I am used to hyper vigilence. I am still learning how be healthy with the PTSD. I dislike being blindsided by triggers. Who does? Lol.

Adding to my mental distress is the utter lack of concern for my mental well being. Everyone in this knows I have PTSD, and that I am mentally fragile. Why are they poking the bear? I am always the one who comprises and overlooks offences. I listen far more than I talk. When I try to communicate anything I am interupted. 99% of the time I am unable to talk for longer than a second.

Yesterday, when I got home my son saidBruce stuff. The ex started yelling at/over me, defending him. There isn't any talking things out. This guy doesn't know why I'm upset. Doesn't care to know.

I have more to add, I cannot at this time.

 

[PreciousChild]

I am a single mom. I left D.V two years ago. I was diagnosed with PTSD four years ago. I was homeless...

I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles. I would find it extremely difficult to be okay in your situation. Just make sure you care for yourself and your girls as best as you can. I wish you luck.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @ahershey - your situation sounds really difficult and I am sorry you and your daughters are caught up in this hostile situation.

Unfortunatly, I moved myself and girls into a hostile situation. My son is very rude and negative. I have no parental authority over him

How old is your son? Is he angry with you for some reason? Have you told him to back off and behave with some respect?

I cannot imagine moving anywhere near an ex and it must be painful and sad to see your son behaving in this manner towards you.

The only thing I can suggest if you cannot broker some kind of peace and harmony is to move the trailer to a place where all this tension is not going to happen. I don't know if this is possible but it doesn't seem your current circumstances are going to be satisfactory in the long term. If you cannot move straight away I would be saving hard to make it possible.

It wasn't necessarily a bad decision. People don't really understand PTSD unless they make a intentional effort to do so, and along with a history of exiting a DV situation makes you quite sensitive to other's behaviour's.

You can only work on what you know at the time. Things can and do change. I'm sure you didn't expect or predict your son and your ex would behave in the manner they now are...otherwise possibly you would have re-thought the idea.