General My bf came back from iraq a different person

[Allyface88]

I don't think that's a good idea. Your feelings are as important as his are, even if he's having a hard...

Unfortunately we live in different countries as i moved back to my home when he had deployed, this was an agreement between us both. He said he would move over here and we have started looking at houses. He stayed here with me for a month and it wasn't amazing, but he apologised for when he has his off moments. As soon as he left and went back this is how he has been. I lost it this morning because he belittled me again..and when I questioned it and was abrupt with him he said " can you stop please because you're spoiling my day again" because this is what he says to me everyday..so I got so so angry and I told him he spoils my day everyday and to leave me alone. It's been 6 hours and have heard nothing from him. I don't know what to do I am so tired. I can't keep thinking of suicide I'm scared of myself. Why is it so hard for him to love me :(

 

[scout86]

I don't know what to do I am so tired.

Have you got someone there you can stand some time with and take a break from this? Sound like you really need one.

I can't keep thinking of suicide I'm scared of myself.

Especially because of that.

Why is it so hard for him to love me

His feelings, what they are and the reasons he has them, are his own problem. They aren't your fault or your responsibility. Relationships can be hard sometimes, but one that leaves you feeling suicidal taking might be one to get out of.

 

[Allyface88]

Have you got someone there you can stand some time with and take a break from this? Sound like you real...

I have all my family and my friends, but when i get like this i just want to curl up in bed and not speak to anyone, i find that this is the only way i just deal with things, even though i know it solves nothing. I know it is his problem, i tend to try and help even when they need to help themselves, and i take on all the pain and suffering. Deep down i know i dont deserve to be treated this way, i deserve to be happy like every other person on this planet. I just cannot understand why now, why through everything, why after me waiting for 5 and half months on my own whilst he was on tour been there for him through thick and thin and he treats me this way and discards me like i am nothing. I wish i could be cold just like him and ignore him and get on with things, but i cant and it kills me inside. I am so sorry i feel like a nuisance but its just so hard for me right now, im not perfect at all i can get nasty at times and say horrible things that i dont mean, but when i do i always apologise when i calm down.