My Biggest Curse - Smoking

[Neverthesame]

I'm not going to say smoking is good, it's not. But I have to question the logic of that nbc article.

I'll dig through it better later, when I'm out of this god forsaken motel.

One thing I caught immediately was near the bottom of it.

How can the researchers really know what negative impact cigarette smoking has for PTSD sufferers, above what everyone else may experience?

They say themselves that most people suffering PTSD never seek treatment. How can they factually claim to understand something they have not actually been able to study?

Smoking is bad, but I want facts to be frightened over, not conjecture.

Maybe they're right, but it's just a hypothesis. Worry about what you know, don't let someone sell it to you as a big epic evil, a million times worse for you because PTSD.

If you want to quit smoking. Great, do it. You will probably be alot better off for it. Wealthier for sure. But letting western media instill even more fear into you isn't going to help.

This disorder is bad enough without fearmongering media making it worse under the guise of legitimate scientific research.

Just my opinion anyway.

 

[ladee]

Aww Man. I hate waking up to a timely issue posted about my own life. @Bloomy, this is not to minimize your angst about quitting smoking. This is a battle I do everyday and it takes up so much of my time, energy and money. I do not want to quit. But I simply can not afford to smoke on my very limited income. So round and round I go every day and am still smoking. I have been smoking since I was 14, am now 65. So for 51 years I have done this stinky , expensive habit. I can remember when they were 35cents a pack.. I now pay $7.13...
During all that time I did quit for 2 1/2 years and wanted a smoke every single day. I am a recovering addict/alcoholic with 34 years clean... so I always say, I gave up all the fun stuff, I am GONNA smoke.
This is how crazy my addiction is... I want to try vaping. But am afraid if I spend that money and am not satisfied, it is money I could have spent on smokes !!!

Will be following this thread. Hopefully something will resonate with me, click in my brain, because I know what my deal is, I do NOT want to go thru withdrawals.... I am already b#tchy and grumpy.... !!!!
I hope you get to realize your dream @Bloomy, to put these nasty things down and never look back. I am always so amazed and proud of someone who can do that.... sending you what energy I have left, from searching for my next 'fix', to realize your hope to quit...

 

[Bloomy]

I'm not going to say smoking is good, it's not. But I have to question the logic of that nbc artic...

Havent reasd the article yet as I went out for a run. Will do later.
But I know in my case smoking is not good especially cause of my PTSD. Physiological facts is that the heartrate increase as you are inhaling the cigratte. Know that I allready have a higher stress then others due to PTSD tells me that it cant be really good for me to further increase the level of stress.

The reason why I continued is also what you write here. Its been a personal protest against that they try to create fear and also the moral point.

Im over that now and see that this is only about me. What is good for me and my life. I dont care what others say about my health, my life or whatever. Its my life. But as I run today struggling to breathe I know this is not what I want for me. No matter everybody elses opnion.

 

[ladee]

You will have my respect and support @Bloomy. You sound so determined, and that is part of the battle. Maybe along the line you will be my 'teacher' on how to accomplish this. I wish you success and one day at a time. I quit drugs, five minutes at a time... sat on my hands and cried. So tho I am a smoker, I will say again, nothing but praise for those that accomplish this most difficult issue !!!

 

[Neverthesame]

I absolutely wish you the best of luck. As much as I still enjoy the filthy habit, I am under no illusion that it is a good idea for my mental or physical health.

You are also quite correct about the effects of elevated stress hormones, and the detrimental effect that can have on cardiovascular health.

I am also notoriously cynical of the western media. I am glad you are determined, cause bloody hell these are hard to quit.

Do they sell the e-cigs without nicotine where you live?

I try to keep a few around for when I find myself chain smoking. I have found I really don't want the nicotine, I just need to have the hand to mouth motion. @Fadeaway hit that right on the head, that half the addiction is the physical/psychological ritual, on top of the chemical dependency.

 

[Bloomy]

Determined, but oh so weak..... Agree its bloody hell dificult to quit . I cant do e cigarette cause it will be my security blanket all over and wont work. I try as Casey says above here instead to pro longe it. Say to myself "do you really need to smoke now - can you wait until you done this or that?" Chain smoking comes mostly when Im home. Smoking with both hands it almost feels Ill puke. Darn I really dont like my self at this point :yuck:

@Fadeaway thanks for saying your proud of me makin this post :happy:

It cost a lot since Ive been in total denial. All the coughing and breathing do makes me realise that there is no longer reason to deny Im in shit.

I love my running and all that comes with it. But *cough cough* aint no fun in that.

My way is usually to investigate things and then move along accordingly. If I make this Ill be God damn f...king superwoman :chicken:

Western media and western world is a total diferent discussion. Went to a meeting for aiding refugees yesterday. Only white speakers of course with well of back ground. All I could think of was poor rich kids having to feel so sorry for everyone not as good of as themselves. Typically enough they feel specially sorry for people with brown skin in far way countries neglecting that poverty is here right in front of them and it also comes in white colour version :playful: But thats not the topic so Ill leave it with that said.....

 

[Friday]

I quit smoking right at the beginning of this tailspin 4 years ago, during my divorce. So much was wrong and f*cked up with my life, and none of it could be solidly blamed on me, so I wanted something to be pissed off at myself about. <chuckling> Well that worked. I'll never know how much getting rid of one of my coping mechanisms contributed to this tailspin... I was seriously slash & burn everything in my life that have me some stability. Smoking was just one of several things. Stayed quit for 3 years. Started again 10November a year and a half ago. ((Was a right proper mess. Very bad day.)) I need to quit again. Will do. Not just now, though.

I also quit smoking briefly when pregnant. My everything went seriously bad, however, and my OB ordered me back on. I was a sobbing snotty mess. How could I smoke while pregnant??? I couldn't. My OB just shrugged. "Stay quit, then. You'll miscarry inside of a week, and then you won't have to worry about it. " Oh. Shit. She bummed a smoke from someone, took me down to the parking garage, and then redid all my tests. Even after one cigarette they were better than before. By the next week? I was back to normal. If they did lower my son's birth weight? Awesome. He was over 10lbs!

And then there were a bunch of stabs in the quitting smoking arena over the years.

^^^^
All of those times? I learned things about myself. To the point that when I started vaping a few months ago, I just kind of naturally kicked into all of those habits & lessons, and while I didn't intend on quitting? I did. Completely on accident. Ironically rather like the pregnancy quit when I started miscarrying, however, my PTSD symptoms went sideways. So rather than run with it, I bought another pack. Guilt free. Because while I need to quit, again? I'm not stable enough to, at the moment. I will. Not right now. But I will.

 

[Bloomy]

Wow @FridayJones My headline seems all the more adequate....

For now I since Ive made this post Ive managed to to some little changes. Like I have to eat before smoking in the morning. When I come home I can not run to my room and smoke right away. I have to stay in the kitchen. Eat something and do some other tasks. Convince myself I have some control :whistling: Did it make me smoke less in total? Doubful :blackeye: But next step is to count the cigarettes I start the day with and see what level Im actually on. Then take it from there.

Activity as mentioned above here encourage me to see what life I really want to live. Chain smokin coughing getting sick or staying helathy fit and....happy... (happy is a word that comes hard for me)

 

[expectingbetter]

Dear Bloomy,
I think that you should not be judging yourself right now for not being able to get rid of your bad habit.
It is actually your security blanket as you call it yourself so please keep your blanket close to yourself for now! Until you don't need it any more.
And in the mean while do the best you can do for yourself to get those broken parts of your soul together and be kind towards yourself. You must be yours best friend.
Do your therapy, do everyday some stuff that will make your soul heals as soon as possible and don't ask yourself everyday why you are still not good enough and why do you still do smoking. Give your soul as much time as needed, those things can't be rushed.

And eventually you will start feeling better, I believe that there is a hope for everybody to be healed some day no matter what they were gone through and when that day comes you will be strong enough to say goodbye to your blanket as you are not going to need it anymore.

Wish you all the best!

 

[Ronin]

@Bloomy, if it's about smoking and not about nicotine, considered switching to smoking something else? (I don't necessarily mean something that'd be controlled substance, there's plenty herbs that can be used for smoking for instance.)

If it's a rope to sanity, I wouldn't get rid of it, because keeping every other monster at bay beats a variety of health risks any day. And if it's 'just' about the badness of it & societal stigma and prejudice and what not? Culture be damned, you're doing darned lot for yourself: keeping yourself alive and in a stable enough mindset to cope with life at large. It IS health upholding, in a myriad of ways those that don't have to deal with trauma don't even consider.

 

[ladee]

I hate that this is simply one more way for people I don't even know, to pass judgement and think they know what is best for me. I am GOING to smoke... period. I am not about to put myself thru the withdrawals to have this constant thought bouncing around in my head with all the others....my cardiologist even said to not worry about it, because when we are not ready, and I'm not, it only causes more stress. I wanted to kiss him on the mouth I was so excited. Not that I would have quit if he told me to.
For those of you who want to quit.. I will support you 100% ! It is an awesome achievement..
There are so many things that I can think of off the top of my head that are harmful to us.. hell, depending on where you live, just breathing the air is dangerous...soo, being 65 yrs old, I'm pretty sure I can make my own choices and am willing to pay the consequences....
But for those trying to quit... you have my support all the way....