Supporter My Boyfriend Suffers From Ptsd

[Deleted member 28403]

Look, it's completely normal to want your needs met, nothing selfish in that, rather self care :) Many others have problems with a lack of that and losing themselves in the other person, dissociating their own identity :hug: Set borders, watch yourself :)

 

[knj2015]

Great! my SIL just confronted me cause she knows I've been really down. She said I should not believe for one minute that he's not sleeping around or lying to me. That PTSD is just and excuse.

 

[knj2015]

I know we have had boundary issues. I am going to therapy to talk about. It's just when he started to pull away, I clung. I've been doing my own thing the past week. I got a new job I like better. I'm trying.

 

[knj2015]

What's so confusing is one time together, he tells me he doesn't want to be without me. He loves me so much. Then today he tells me he's put his feelings aside. I wish I could just put them aside.

 

[knj2015]

he has messed me up

 

[Adrian2016]

That's a good suggestion. I too get irrational. Which doesn't help him. I love him so much and just...

I am in a similar position only i am the one with ptsd in the relationship. I know your struggle it is a real and painful one. Just remember that the isolation has everything to do with the trauma and this terrible illness and nothing to do with you. I am sure he needs you more than he will ever let on. When he is isolating. Hold onto that. He needs you. You are helping him even when he cant tell you that. A single person can make all the difference.

 

[Nora.A]

Thank-you. I think I stress him out sometimes because I don't get it. We don't live together so space...

Hello. I'm new and would like some advice. My boyfriend of a year and a half has PTSD. He often times...

Hi, I am new on here too. My partner also has Combat PTSD. I understand how difficult it must be for you. I find that there is little genuine support for partners, husbands and wives of Veterans suffering from PTSD. I don't know how best to help him. I have asked for advice from medical service and they just treat me like I am interfering.

 

[Suzetig]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[MonkeeMoo]

Hi knj2015-
How has it been going with you and your partner? Has he stopped isolating? Are you at a better place? I was wondering how long it took until you were able to see him or when his depression/episode subsided. Hope it turned well. ...I am going through something similar with my SO over the summer, and it's been 5 weeks since I heard from him. I'm really sad and confused.
-MM

 

[knj2015]

Hi knj2015-
How has it been going with you and your partner? Has he stopped isolating? Are you at a...

Well...we haven't really not talked more than a week. We are neighbors and end up talking. But as far as him being distant and very reserved with me, it's gone on for 5 months now. It just seems like he is hit with something very stress-full at every corner. Sometimes I wonder if he just exaggerates most things. Not all...some are bad. It just keeps knocking him down. It's hard. He gets very angry and will take it out on me. Not physically but grumpy and is really short with me. I probably push more than I should to talk. It is really painful. I really hope he will contact you. 5 weeks...you are being so strong not to try and contact him.

 

[Milo's papa]

@MonkeeMoo, you're doing the right thing by giving him the space and time he needs to put himself back together. There have been times when my wife and I only communicated in one or two word sentences for 3 or 4 months, ( and that's living in the same house).

I know how hard isolating can be on relationships, and supporters. What I can't imagine what my wife goes through during these times, or how much she is suffering. PTSD is a real bi***.

I hope this helps. Take care, and be at peace with yourself.

 

[Milo's papa]

@knj2015, please be aware that for some people with PTSD it really doesn't take much of a stressor to really get them in a bad place. My wife has so many triggers that she will stress out or react differently than I would at the drop of a hat. That's normal for her. If I were to do those things, she'd know right away something was wrong. You can only try to look at the world as he sees it. Minor things to you may well be major issues for him. It is all in how our individual brains react to a situation.

I hope that gives you a little bit more insight into what could possibly be happening with your SO. Take care and be at peace with yourself.