My Cat Is Slowly Dying And It Is Destroying Me

[anonymous]

By his spacey eyes I think it's too late,

It probably is especially if he isnt taking the raw food, or even a piece of chicken. Treats arent enough nurtion to substane him. He is likely now slowly starving. As sad as it would be I think the most loving thing you can do is to end his suffering. My parents got medication for their dog to keep him ok and out of pain for a day, we had a get together with everyone that loved him to say goodbye and the next day I drove down with them and had to hand the dog over to the vet.

 

[scout86]

I just want to say, if I believed in reincarnation, I'd want to come back as one of your cats. You've really gone the extra mile for this guy! He couldn't have a more loving and devoted owner. :hug:

 

[Ellabella44]

Sorry you and he are going through this. My Nietzsche (my profile pic) lived to 19 when she started not eating, cuddling with me more etc. she had a good long life and was my support cat. was very hard to let her go, but had to face that she was not improving and best thing would be to put her to sleep so shes not suffering anymore.

Hugs for you and your kitty.

 

[Deleted member 31177]

I have different issues that overwhelm me, and now it is my cat. I thought he was about to die about a week...

Hi Knak,

Having taken are of, and still do, special needs cats for many years, I want to respectfully ackowledge your pain and suffering, I am so sorry you are going through this!!

With one of my beloved cats (that literally saved my life years ago) who had the Kidney issues, I was having to give her Sub-Q fluids daily towards the end. She was on daily pain med and, man I would just cry and cry I loved her so much.

I knew it was time when her meow changed to an almost crying low toNE and she completely could not control her bladder anymore.

Until that time I highly recommend giving her Subcutaneous (Sub-Q) fluids with added nutrients. You WILL know when the time is right, and she will NEED for you to be with her when she is released from her pain. I would suggest holding her as they administrate the drugs.

Much warmth and Empathy,

Ju
p.s. your husband is a jerk for having no empathy for you and your cat! He has a lot to learn!

BIG HUGS from the Central Coast of California!

Grieve for as long as you need to, and if your husband complains or worse, look him straight in the eye and tell him to BACK OFF!!

p.s. Fluids are much cheaper on line. You just attach the drip set (sold separately), then, we'll I had a bigger cat) and use an 18A gage needle. You can also buy those on line, one use needles, for about $12-15 for 100 needles.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I should have added that I want to know if anyone can spot mistakes in my thinking, because I feel like I'm...

Awwwww, I'm chocking up!

I had a bunny that was sooo sweet. She helped me so much with my therapy. She was sort of an anti-anxiety pet. I would snuggle with her when I felt so alone or was overwhelmed. I don't think you're crazy or cruel at all! This probably sounds crazy, but when I had her neuturered I felt like I was abandoning her. Leaving her alone in a medical facility, forcing a surgery on her and not giving her any choice. A short time later, I lost her to a cronic bladder infection. She was only 9 months old. It was devastating. Still is. One of the hardest choices I felt I had to make.

Is it distorted thinking? Maybe, but I get it. We personalize so many things, and let our experiences play out in other scenarios that are unrelated. However we see similarities. If your husband is making decisions for you, then it renderes you powerless. For me, that's a red flag.

I'm just so sorry you're going through this. There is no fancy answer or quick fix. Wish I could make it better.

 

[Knak]

I just want to say, if I believed in reincarnation, I'd want to come back as one of your cats. You've r...

thank you. that is very nice of you to say.

This is embarrassing to say after completely falling apart and wishing him to die, but last night before bed time I gave him some drops to clear his nose, which is brachycephalic (flat). There was no obvious blockage. I spent yesterday letting him sleep on my stomach while I petted him because all I could do to make him feel better was pay attention to him. And being forced to stop and rest with him was something I never could do before.

We also bought several new treats he never tried and put some down in their room. He apparently couldn't smell anything prior to the drops because he finally ate and in the morning he ran out of the room and was as responsive as he has ever been.

We also took him for an IV today and cancelled the appt. for the doctor to see him because he was doing so well. He gained back the pound + he lost. I stayed on the couch so he could lay on my lap but he did not stay as long as yesterday. The rest of the day he followed me around meowing for attention but wouldn't let me hold him long. He just wanted me to follow him (nowhere). He wouldn't eat anything more that I gave him but my husband said he saw him eat 3 times when I wasn't around.

I will give him the drops to clear his nose daily now and hope this doesn't happen again, but it is inflammatory bowel disease which comes and goes. Just never so bad as this time. And I tell myself don't worry about the food.

I hope this wasn't much to do about nothing but I appreciate the advice and support. I was losing my mind over the two weeks or more. I was able to change my thinking and find what was important.

I am completely appreciative of the communication and advice that let me feel some peace. The positive ending is a miracle I never anticipated. It will happen again but for now I learned I have resources that changed my thinking and what I thought was impossible.

 

[Knak]

Hi Knak,

Having taken are of, and still do, special needs cats for many years, I want to respectfully...

I wish I could do what you do but when we tried to give fluids I kept passing out. I don't know where you get the inner strength to repeat the loss. I can't choose to go through it again.

I got these cats because I couldn't get over the loss of my last two and feared the day it would come again with the ones I have now. It is harder for me to see an innocent animal suffer than a person who has lived an independent life and probably chosen to hurt someone during their life, whereas an animal only seems to be capable of love, not arbitrary malice.

 

[ladee]

Your questions and concerns were not 'much ado about nothing' !! We love our furkids and they can not tell us when enough is enough... It is a hard choice to make , no matter what. Happy to hear the contributions helped you for next time... Aren't they amazing !! Will rebound and just make us shake our heads... Happy to know he is doing better, and that means you are too !! Thanks for keeping us updated.. sending gentle hugs to you and the furkid!!

 

[EveHarrington]

More :hug:

 

[Deleted member 31177]

I wish I could do what you do but when we tried to give fluids I kept passing out. I don't know where you get the inner strength to repeat the loss. I can't choose to go through it again.

Hey Knack, Maybe someone else can give her the Sub-Q fluids? It's just, pick up some fur a d loose dehydrated skin from the area right behind the neck, have the scoop of the needle facing
upwardsome and it slips right in. You wouldn't believe how much better they feel afterwards!

I'm not sure that I understand what you mean by "Repeat the loss. . ."

I have been extra afraid of needles my entire life. Then my then-fiance at his 5 year check-up for any sign of his Melanoma returning was told it spread throughout his body and even had 3 tumors that had passed the blood brain barrier. He was given en 6 months to live.

After radiation and Chemo, which proved unsuccessful, Brian chose to be at home. I was taught by the Hospice lady how to give Brian multiple I.M. (intramuscular) shots every day of Morphine. I loved him so much I made myself do it so that he would be more comfortable. That's where I got the strength from . . . Love and empathy.

Same for my fluid cats over the years (I always adopt from Co. Animal Services where they euthanize the sick, crippled and elderly before they go down the list from there.

I see it as a sacred honor to do whatever is needed to keep my loved ones safe and free of pain.

If your cat is living in severe dehydration and you, your family and friends, or even taking your cat to your vet for the fluid treatments, then I super highly suggest you free your cat from the torturous pain.

Preferably, as I always copy from NIKE, "JUST DO IT!" Give your cat the fluids, you will get used to it. But please, Please don't continue allowing your cat to live one more day in pain. Along with the other issues your cat has, severe dehydration is very, very painful. Please give her the "under-the-skin" (Sub-Q) fluids; if you still choose not to do the fluids, let her die with some dignity and put her out of her pain immediately. There is no need for her to suffer anymore - your choice!

I am not sorry if this is taken as being mean as that is not my intention. I am a huge all-animals Advocate and care for "those with no voice" way more than I care about people, especially allowing an animal to suffer like this! There is absolutely no reason!

But again, your choice! If I lived near you I would be honored to be giving your cat fluids as often as needed.

 

[Knak]

Hey Knack, Maybe someone else can give her the Sub-Q fluids? It's just, pick up some fur a d loose deh...

He has gotten the fluids twice a week for five years now and was very happy until recently, besides two vets saying it wasn't time yet. His time acting like himself was short-lived and activity comes and goes. I let him sleep on me and we both take a nap until he feels good enough to get up and change his venue. I can't say he's in pain if he comes around half the time. I am depending on the veterinarian to tell me, and it was the weight loss and my obsession over finding something he would eat that was driving me insane.

He gained the weight back. He goes tomorrow for an IV so I will ask the veterinarian to look at him again. As I said before he has inflammatory bowel that comes and goes. I don't need to be encouraged to put him down because that was my desire until they felt he deserved a chance to improve.

I paid my vet tech to give the IVs until I realized she didn't really want to do it because she also has a family to take care of. I pass out just holding him still while someone else puts the needle in. I could give them or hold him before, but now I can't. I have always had a problem with passing out if I watch when blood is drawn..

I don't know how you can go through having an animal you love die and keep taking on a new one to care for and die, and repeat that process. I don't have what it takes.The trauma of loss takes too much out of me and the grief lasts too long. I don't know what the difference is between people who can or can't do what.you do.

 

[anonymous]

I don't know how you can go through having an animal you love die and keep taking on a new one to care for and die, and repeat that process.

I did this inside of animal rescue and as a foster parent. They all left whether it was out to an adopted owner or euthenized. The "lifers" in the rescues I saw all the time but they just werent in my house. Theres no such thing as a no kill rescue, only a low kill one as there are very sick animals that the kindest thing to do is to euthenize as they would of died anyway, very slowly in pain.

Ive also cared for sick animals. I bottle fed my friend's cat's newborn kittens; the momma was too sick to feed them (have no clue from what) but all but two passed away. The two that thrived, I took one and another family took his brother and have now been thriving for 10 yrs. My calico is 11 yrs old and I understand they will not live forever. It will break my heart and if I have to be the one that picks them up it will be very traumatizing and I will grieve but after a while I will likely want to take in another kitten. Once you do, they make you smile and laugh again and bring you a lot of joy.

You must understand that death is a part of life. Yes, its traumatizing and you must grieve but once you do it is ok to bring in another animal and gain joy from it. It doesnt take a special kind of person to laugh when they see a kitten or puppy and make room in their life for one after they lost one. It only takes grieving.