My Favorite Best Friend In The World Is Buried In My Backyard

[Philippa]

I am glad you wrote so much and thought critically about this. I hope it gave you some insight or it helped you sort out things a little. I am glad she is an animal activist, but don't feel bad hon, things happen that are out of our control you didn't mean to cause her harm with her PTSD by your cat dying. She will find a way to deal with it herself. I am sure you know this too and it is easier said than done.

It has helped a lot thanks. Just typing it all out has made me feel much better. I feel cleansed by my tears today. I made it through the day, so that's good.

I think you should honor the memory of your cat by remembering the good things about april and how such a little creature can have such a great benefit to healing. I hope you do get a new kitten! Their are a lot of cats out there that need the kind of love from people like us. You seem to be a lovely person and a kitten would benefit from a home like yours.

It would be hard for me to remember anything about her that wasn't beneficial to me in some huge way. She taught me so much about being playful, laughing, she was just so funny, such a fun cat to have around.

Aw you have a baby? How many months? That is really sweet. Congratulations. I can't wait to be a mother after I get married next September. It is what I was born to do.

I was referring to my cat. She's like my baby. I really don't see any difference between a mother with a human child and a mother with a non-human child. The mother instinct in me when I brought her home is exactly as I would imagine tit would be had I brought home a baby from my own womb. I do not have kids, and nor do I plan to have any...at least not unless I meet the right men to have babies with. If that never happens, then I'm ok with that. There are enough kids on the planet anyway. Adopting cats is enough for me to handle.

Anyways, I am here if you need that sympathy just send me a conversation or post on here. I am a very sympathetic and compassionate person. I understand how childhood abuse affects the way you think about life and what to not expect out of others. A lot of people it seems, though not all people, have a lack of compassion because they are struggling with their own selves. I could go on and on about how technology and certain societies has created people to become more individualistic and self centered, but I will spare you lol.

Thankyou for the warm extension. Yes, it can really stunt our thinking about certain things. At least I'm aware of it though, right. I'm a pretty compassionate person (at least I think I am), and I think you are right that it comes when your sense of self is strong, and your capacity to suffer has been tested. Only people who've suffered a lot can know how to be compassionate...which is why I get along so well with people who have ptsd or have had some kind of trauma in their lives. It usually makes them better people in the long run, and that's what the world needs now...more than ever.

I'd actually be interested to hear what you have to say about technology and certain societies (like western) encouraging narcissism. I'm into all that sort of thing.

Take care of yourself. You did everything you could

Thankyou, I know. This has been a huge lesson for me about being gentle on myself. I think I've done ok at that.

. I am very weird when it comes to any kind of death. I grew up around it, seen people die, held there hands while they passed and so on and so fourth. It has just been like that since I was a kid. My first memory is about death. Death doesn't bother me or make me feel uncomfortable it is just a part of life and a motivation to live your life to the fullest, in my opinion.

That's the best attitude to take I think. I have not had it around me as much as it sounds like you have, but i've had enough to take the same approach towards death. I don't see it as a bad thing, just an extension of the great adventure of living.

I overdosed last spring too, so that has really changed my fear of death as well (and how STUPID and selfish I was, but again my doctors think it was the medicine Wellbutrin that caused me to behave out of character like that, I lost a sense of control when it happened, I don't really remember it). Allow yourself to grieve. It is very tragic and again I am sorry you lost such a great cat like April.

Thanks again, for your support and for sharing part of your story here. Welcome to the forum, if I didn't get a chance to say it earlier.

 

[Philippa]

What I have to say may surprise you but there is a light at the end of the tunnel....but it leads to another one.

I have to say I'm most intrigued by this statement?:cool:

 

[Philippa]

I'm really sorry you lost your April. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. My heart goes out to you.

Thankyou. I appreciate your kind words at this time. At times I feel like I'm ok, and I'm distracted by the internet, by being here, by facebook etc. I've been using the computer to distract myself from the full brunt of the pain that comes to me at times, and the grief that hits like a wave. I'm lucky to have such kindness and support.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Its good to have support it eases the stress

 

[Philippa]

That it does Phoenixrising. It has been a huge learning curve for me, the last 20 years it seems, has been in a subtle way, about teaching me to learn how to open up to support, and allow myself to receive that comfort and support that I've needed for so long. This is just another example, or opportunity for me to try my hand at allowing myself to be supported...and still feel strong.

 

[ashdawn8287]

I agree about the non human children and human children. I have a cat, a dog, and 2 koi fish and i absolutely treat them like I would a child. They are my life. I might not be able to have children. I have endometriosis pretty bad, I just had surgery for it like 2 weeks after my overdose. If I don't I am okay with that, but I will adopt a disadvantage child, since like you said, there are so many of them and so many of them need good homes.


Okay technology and individualistic. So back in the day like the 50s people would gather around to watch television in there homes. Since there wasn't a lot of channels to choose from, the expense of owning a television, and because lack of technology people would gather together with there friends and there family and watch whatever show was available. Same with the radio in the 1930s. Then everyone was like hey, Mr jones and Mrs jones has this cool expensive television that is just AWESOME so lets try to keep up with the joneses and get more and more and show off blah blah blah. (really dumb down version of what happened lol). So, As technology grew through the 70s up until now. More people want more, and they want more to fit their own needs. We have a lot more access to meet our own individual needs and tastes now because of the rapid boom of the "Information and technology era" we are in. Since we are a more mobile society we can watch and do these things independently.

Not even just that, but the media like television and radio are not really governed by the government. So then we get into this big issues about well who the hell is running our media? Well it's the big companies, conglomerates, blah blah, whose only interest is to make a profit. So they sell, advertise, stereotype, and we grew up around it, we see it on tv, we hear about it, we assume everything is true, but it isn't. So what that has done is create a society about wanting and needing things, keeping up with joneses is more important than compasssion. And there have been studies down about the darwin evolution theory and they are finding out that species survive and thrive because of compassion and working TOGETHER. It is quite scary.

The 1996 telecommunications act that Bill Clinton passed, basically made it so the government really has no say in what is monitored on the different forms of media and is not regulated by the government really. Before the media had to watch what they say and when the radio first started their was a law that stated that radio was only suppose to be use to educate or for religious purposes blah blah blah.

So then we get into another issue about where this stuff we use for our own individualistic needs come from. Well we set up shops overseas because it's cheaper (loosing jobs here, if I might add, to pay a 3rd world country or poor country or community and what have you) then it is to do it here. But also by setting up those shops were are depleting our natural resources.

1. We deplete natural resources. 2. We set up unhealthy factories in less educated countries all so we can have the new technoogy that further reinforces us to be more individualistic and to make the stuff we need that all stems for them whole 50s keeping up with the Joneses theory. Not only is reinforced by the media but it is reinforced throughout society and we are able to reach more people and tell more people that they need more junk and material things in order to be happy because of technology 3. We market and profit this stuff so where does the money go? To those big companies that make those decisions, calls blah blah, and they don't care about your health, they don't care about humanity surviving as a species, it is all about profit and getting as much as you can for as little as you can without concern for others.

 

[ashdawn8287]

It is also reinforced from generation to generation.

 

[Philippa]

Yep, pretty much. What they are learning more about today, is what psychologists have been saying for a few years now...and that is that the people, media, corporations...all run by executives who fit into the profile of a classic psychopath M.O, and so these "little psychos" as it were, are not only telling us all what to eat, wear, watch...but they are also teaching us all to be more like them. Most people, on any given day, can display some form of psychopathy, whether it is a lack of empathy brought on by over-stimulation and bombardment of advertising material that makes them numb to their own feelings, and therefore indifferent to the feelings of others, or just encouraging dishonesty in some form...which is what the whole thing is built on...a Lie. We have never needed these things they sell us. We always managed before mobile phones and laptops and Wi-Fi existed. We lived in communities, where we sat around the fire and told stories to keep ourselves entertained. Where if we wanted to talk to someone we only had to knock on their door or turn to the person next to you and start talking. Now people have longer relationships with their smart phone!

Most people consider this to be what progress is all about? I personally see it as Devolution...De-evolution.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I say let out your inner child. You can get out in the world more that way. Learn to have fun again and enjoy yourself more. Have fun analizeing this!!

 

[ashdawn8287]

I completely agree and if you look at the history of societies with genocide, holocausts, all that evil. It started with people like that. It is scary as hell!

 

[Phenioxrising]

This planet is a poisenous planet, but look at the bright side of things. and you'll see a different view of the world.

 

[ashdawn8287]

"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change."