My Love Affair With Cigarettes..

[InvisibleSun]

So I smoked my last cigarette yesterday afternoon at 4:45pm..I haven't gone this long without smoking in 15 years and honestly..I feel like I am going insane. I have a relationship with cigarettes that I feel a lot of people may have as well. Cigarettes dictate the rhythm of my everyday. Wake up..smoke. coffee..smoke. driving..smoke. After work..smoke. Bored..smoke..I think I might feel an emotion..smoke. Talking on the phone..smoke. After sex..smoke. Before Bed..smoke. And everything in between. I am a slave to cigarettes and I can honestly say I don't know what I'm going to do without them. And it's funny that I say this because I have kicked other addictions before...and none has completely consumed me quite like this one. I feel lost and alone. And I have no idea what to do with my hands. Which is probably why I'm typing this right now. I know that I am definitely capable of quitting but this is going to take a lot of work..Any one have any suggestions on how to make this process a little easier, at least in the beginning?! Thanks :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

No idea. I took a hospital quit smoking class and it did not work. I applaud your efforts. There is the patch and gum and they even have prescriptions that stifle the urge to smoke. I wish you the best and hope you can do it, I so relate to what you wrote.

 

[sonicwhite]

Talk to God and pray, that is how I quit cold turkey without any withdrawals back in 2006. But I picked them back up in 2008 and I have a love affair like yours. I love the way they taste, even generics and I am in the same boat as you but God is the one that helped me quit back in 2006, it was a miracle. I wished I never picked them up again but I did and that is in the past. I have to look forward. You go for the gold, your trying that is better then what I can say about myself.

 

[anthony]

Ahhh... I remember those days after giving up smoking. Damn difficult to get rid off, but you can do it and once over the hump of it, the rest is much easier.

What people say though about giving up for the rest of your life, is true. Every now and then I will still crave a cigarette, knowing how they made me feel... and wanting that again, but will power must reign supreme for health. If I smoked one, I would start again.

 

[Friday]

Good on you! I just started again this November (after a little more than 3 years quit). It was a conscious decision as they meet both some of my ADHD & PTSD needs, and I was on some seriously thin ice. After I get some of this backlog sorted, it's back to healthier coping mechanisms!!! :D Part of how I quit smoking is meeting those needs elsewhere, & part replacement.

I don't know if any of these things will be useful to you, most aren't standard quit-tricks (some are!) but they're what helped me the most.

Top 4 ongoing things for me:

- I still go outside each and every single time I want to smoke. In the beginning, that was a lot. After a few months, that gradually lessened, but was still typically a couple times a day. Part of my going outside was feeding the addiction, but only part. It was also a guaranteed 5-7 minutes of chilling out, regulated breathing, changing my environment... A whole helluva lot of other things. So it's unsurprising that after 15 years of smoking? If I needed any of those other things? My brain didn't go "So, bitch! Take your happy ass outside and sit down for 7 minutes to do/get XYZ." Nope. It just told me I needed a cigarette. Okay! Outside we go, then! ;)

- I still took regular breaks between activities. This is an ADHD+PTSD thing. If I just keep going from thing-to-thing-to-thing-to.... ? I vey quickly become overwhelmed and shut down. Mission creep, central. So if I'd Ordinarilly go take a smoke break in between cleaning the kitchen and the next thing on my list? I still took a 5 minute break! LOL, in fact, my son called it "having a cigarette". Hey, mom! Do you need to have a cigarette before we leave? Yep! Thanks, kiddo. (It confused our friends, no end. As I hadn't smoked for months/years).

- Sandalwood Beads. Just a me-thing; I love the way they smell, I'm mad sensory, and I could wear them as a bracelet. I would roll them between my fingers, "hold" them between my fingers, or press really hard between my thumb and forefinger. Kinda like the "tapping" thing which calms a lot of people's anxiety, having them to mess with helped a whole helluva lot. Initially with needing my hands busy, later just because they were soothing.

- Creating new rituals.

Top 3 Immediate Withdrawal things that helped me:

- Xanax. ((I usually prefer Valium for anxiety attacks, but Xanax also knocks my as out. I slept through most of the first 3 days! ))

- Sensory tricks to keep my brain busy. Menthol lip balm, massage, grounding tricks, mints, music, those beads, exercise, all kinds of stuff.

- I was doing it to myself. I quit in the middle of my divorce. It was a control thing.... So much sucked that was outside of my control, that I wanted something that sucked I could control. If it ever got too bad? I knew I could smoke, again. Bit of a control-freak, me! ;) It's one of the awesome things about quitting... It's pure control. I am choosing not to. (Smoking again? That's out of my control. I'm completely back to where I was when I quit, and was within about 2 days.)

 

[InvisibleSun]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions everyone! This is definitely gonna be a crazy ride for me..but very worth it in the end. This will be about the 1,759,423 time I've tried to quit..but THIS time I feel good. I actually want to quit..very similar to how I felt when I decided to seek treatment for my PTSD. I wanted help..and I was tired of running away from it..So I think if I just continue channeling that same feeling of..something better.. and learn how to practice some self control (not a strong point of mine), I might just be able to beat this..;)

 

[joeylittle]

I actually want to quit

This is everything.

I have no idea what to do with my hands.

I taught myself to knit. It made a huge, huge difference.

 

[Fadeaway]

I quit using e-cigs. The key is to find the right one and right flavor for you. I tried several before I found a liquid that tasted like my brand of cigarettes. I stepped down my nicotine level and was at zero for quite some time. A few weeks ago I went back up to 6 mg just to help with my PTSD symptoms.

Tip, don't waste your money on the ones you get at a connivance store. They end up costing more in the long run.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I'm very good at quitting as well. I've quit about 300 times, so I'm a professional.
I've quit a lot of things in my life as well, eating disorders, alcohol, relationships (!), and smoking, what else... None of them were easy. They were all serious monkeys on my back, very painful vices to give up.
With the smoking I decided I would put up with ANY sort of PAIN the quitting would bring. BRING IT ON. if you're willing to suffer, then you'll succeed. Anyone who is unwilling to suffer and thinks they can do it without suffering will not succeed.
KNOW that it won't be easy. Know that you'll feel like breaking things sometimes! (Get a pillow to punch), know that you'll feel like screaming or crying or maybe gain weight or feel depressed but be WILLING to put up with whatever it takes. That's the only way I was able to do it. Everyone looks for an easy way out or caves when they begin to suffer.
Also be aware that quitting smoking is the equivalent of quitting heroin. True.
ALSO- my doc said to me one day (after really nagging me for years about quitting but also seeing it as a weakness) he said 'No WONDER you've had such a hard time quitting..." He had attended a seminar about quitting smoking and he learned that each time we take a puff, EVERY time, it gives us a little shot of serotonin and given that I suffer from depression on and off, it's no wonder thst it was so hard to quit.

I am SO grateful I quit. And proud. Look forward to these two thoughts and feelings.

Quite frankly I've smoked so much in my life I'm amazed I'm still alive. I wouldn't dare disclose how much I was smoking when my husband suicided. You'd think I was insane. Well, I was pretty out of it actually. I had a major nervous breakdown and all I did was smoke around the clock, day and night in a state of trauma.
So so so glad I've conquered it and you will be too.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'll disclose, at times in my life I've been up to 4 packs a day, & 35 years, minus 3 or 4 quit. It's not so easy to die. And with a family full of cancer (genetic) & some heart disease, both of which presented in people early (age 6 onward), & caring for the ill & dying & aged in my work, trust me it's not so easy to die, rarely fast, it's not as presented in the 'tear-jerker movie of the week'. It 'ain't pretty', & the devil is in the details. And dealing with the medical system, that produces great suffering, greater than quitting.

Rather than 'quitting', maybe you're starting with new freedom?

I think I smoke to feel like a non-smoker (not have the craving), to ground, to forget, (God-forbid I have to feel more) & because I'm addicted. And maybe because in a family that you know yourself & them may be on the way out soon it's an inevitable choice from the start, an act of defiance (probably at it's core hopelessness) rather than living in fear.

You can do it @InvisibleSun , there's so much good to be gained. Good advice on here too. :tup: . Add vitamin C sources to your regimen, also don't get discouraged by acid reflux (temporary use of an anti-acid is ok for most people). :hug:

 

[The Albatross]

I get angry as heck when I quit. I keep trying, but then remember how many times I tried before I was successful last time. Last time was a 5 year quit.

 

[InvisibleSun]

Thanks for the support and wonderful suggestions! Today was four days without a cigarette and I've done really well..it's definitely rough at times, but I'm really focused on making this work. I've smoked so much over the years (along with preexsisting respitory problems) I am truly shocked that I too am still alive. Everything I do in life is so self destructive and I think this is great start to turning that all around. However, my psychological addiction to cigarettes is much more dangerous than any of the potential health consequences. It may sound silly..but I feel kind of lonely and incomplete without smoking. Cigarettes were my best friend for far too long and without them life seems strange. (well, stranger than it already is) ;)

Trying to stay positive, though, and take it one day at a time. Thanks for the advice and words of encouragement, everyone!