My self image after predatory individuals

[Sodapop20]

Today I was thinking about how negatively all the predatory people in my past have affected how I view myself. After I first got exploited by a predator I had a hard time keeping people out of my life that weren’t also predators that just reinforced what how negatively I saw myself. Now after a lot of hard work. I have some normal, I think good people in my life. But it’s like I don’t know what to do sometimes now. I’m like how can I completely trust people. I could be just hanging out talking with a group of friends and then my brain will go straight to, what it feels like to be forced to give someone I thought was a friend oral sex and picturing how horrible that would feel to have happened with these friends. Even though there is nothing that would ever suggest that any of them would ever do that to me. Or I could be looking at someone I’m newly befriending arm and all of a sudden I’m like that is the arm of someone that sex trafficked me those images flash in to my mind. And it takes me a second to remember I looking ay someone what wouldn’t ever be a predatory. I want to trust them all more slowly. I hope I can do this and that nothing bad happeneds.

 

[Movingforward10]

Totally relate. .flashbacks. intrusive thoughts. Self blame and fragile sense of self. Attachment and trust.
A whole host of things you have highlighted there.

It's really good you recognise it all. That awareness helps and is half the battle. It's then working on thought stopping, grounding techniques and self compassion.

 

[Mach123]

Low self image beating myself up trying to get other people to abuse me or at least not to like me oh yeah, all of it . Now I’m just resigned to avoidance but I’m 67 and I don’t really care. If I’m not going to experience any of that sh*t I’ll pay the price. My family keeps me busy enough. They’re all the people I need really. I don’t need anything. I was just in bjs and I was thinking I don’t want anything. I kinda want a little boat still because we’re on the water but even that lol, it becomes a pain in the ass. My daughter likes our little jaunts though in the nice weather. I’ll probably do it if I get the chance. But it would have to be easy. Just can’t do stuff anymore. I just want what I need and to be moderately comfortable.