My Son Is Moving Out With Mates

[SeekingSerenity]

(((((NightHawlk)))))

 

[Whitneys story]

This is not easy. Suffering to the core for me anyway.

I remember the fear I felt when my first moved which was less than a mile. As Moms I think it is possible we second guess ourselves. Please remind yourself you are a great Mom. Don't let the negative past programing have any say! Behemoth Hugs

 

[KP the nut]

all the time wondering what it would be like when he was an adult and I couldn't rush to the rescue.

My daughters (25 and 22) are adults and I still fly to their sides when they need me. I give them the choice and thankfully they have the courage to ask for help and ask me to come.

I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about them and wanting to take all the hurt away. But, living through hurt and crisis helps them to become even stronger, independent women. They know H and I will always be there for them.

(((Nicolette and NH))).

 

[amethist]

Mine are 27 and 30, have to admit in a crisis I am there too. :)

 

[CraftyCath]

They never stop being your children no matter how old they are.

My youngest (19) is still at home, unemployed and suffering with agoraphobia and anxiety. my eldest (21) is at University and is having a terrible time this year. He is doing a Geology and Physical Geography degree and cannot do the dissertation he was allocated because he has no car to get to all the out of the way places he needs to go. It looks like he won't pass this year (his 3rd year) and will have to do his dissertation next year which will mean having to pay for another years accommodation and Uni fees.

The tutors haven't made it easy for him but he also leaves things till the last minute. He is so down and I know there is nothing I can do. I'm so glad he is only 20 miles away and can come home often.

I wish I could take away my boy's pain but no plaster will will take it away like it did when they were little. It's time to face the big bad world and learn to solve their own problems.

I'm hear to offer comfort and understanding but they are adults now and have to grow through this. on this Mothers Day my magic wand is broken and my boys have to become the men they were destined to be. It is so very hard.

((((((Much love to all who's chicks have flown or are having problems))))))

 

[Nicolette]

OMG.... my son now tells me he's officially got a girlfriend today and it's even on Facebook...whoa back!!! :eek:

 

[CraftyCath]

Now that makes it more complicated Nicolette. x

 

[Madame X]

Just found out my 23 yo son is moving out...I'm a little numb :(

 

[Nicolette]

:( Madame X

 

[wirefencelady]

OMG.... my son now tells me he's officially got a girlfriend today and it's even on Facebook...whoa back!!! :eek:

Are you afraid something like his girlfriend take him away from you?Sorry to ask this,I am young Mum ,I wil be annoy when my daughter is not close with me/

 

[Nicolette]

No, I don't think his girlfriend will take him away from me - he might have less time for me but I don't think 'take' is the right word. It is part of growing up. By "whoa back" I meant a lot happening at once. I know the girl, she is nice, she comes around too, its just a shock as from one day to the next its like the relationship changes forever. Given time it's not that bad, better in some ways, a loss still in some, but I am proud of who he is becoming and by letting him go I am doing what is best for him not me - isn't that what parenting is about?

To me close is defined by respect, honesty and quality. You don't have to spend a lot of time with someone to be close - if there was a bond it should remain.

 

[Srain]

It sounds to me like your son is taking all the natural steps of growing up, just like you raised him to do, Nicolette, how exciting! :) There is nothing like witnessing your "baby" find the love, life, and his place in this world. Sure there are difficult times (I hurt when my kids hurt and want to fix everything) but to be there as support while witnessing what great men they have grown to be is more than words can say. I'm more than proud of them. At least with my youngest he allows me the clearest view and it's amazing what a wonderful man, husband, and grown son he has become!

Nicolette, you have obviously given your son all the tools he needs in order to get out in the world and begin his journey, however, he will never forget where he got those from. Your keen advice will always be important, you are a wise and compassionate woman.