General My Supporter Says He Wants To Run Away

[WhisperingUnicorn]

You can't solve his depression. You can get help from others outside of him to help lighten to load on him and your kids.

well put :hug:

 

[Sighs]

Is he here on the forum? If not, could you suggest it to him? He needs a place to vent where (most) people won't judge him or you.

Any chance of therapy for him? Not couple therapy - just him. Again a place to vent and seek help without judgement.

 

[adriftatsea]

As a supporter of a husband with PTSD, I would encourage your supporter to possibly go to counseling or therapy or a support group if it exists in your area and if he's willing to give it a shot. It's something I'm considering doing because I find I don't really have any support for myself. Try as my family and friends might, they don't understand. I know it's something mentioned important in both supporter/sufferer forums I think, but making sure you both do things for yourselves (treat yourself to some R&R or a walk or a good book, etc)

And as a sufferer you can't blame yourself or your disorder because everyone is accountable for their own happiness. Try as we might nobody can make somebody else truly happy unless their okay with themselves.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I don't know you guys and the dynamics of your relationship, so all I can do is tell you what would make me happy as a supporter.

It sounds like he may be having some compassion burnout. It happens to all of us sometimes. We get frustrated too. Sometimes we blow our stack a little, or have a "moment." What would make me happy as a supporter is to be able to have my moment, have my sufferer cut me some slack about it, and for him to realize that I am indeed, just having a "moment." There are just days when I have hit the tippy top of my limit, and I would like the chance to be the one who gets to be irritable and then be the one who gets comforted. Immature yes... but it would make me feel better.

Also, it may sound trite... but telling him "thank you, I appreciate you, and I love you" may help a lot. That stuff is music to my ears. I know it is hard for him to express emotions like that, so it means that much more.

 

[Numbalina]

but telling him "thank you, I appreciate you, and I love you" may help a lot.

I actually sent him a text this morning (and got no reply or acknowledgment of even seeing it after I asked if he'd received it) saying that he was on my mind and I was worried about him. His well-being and level of stress. I don't do that enough. I wish I had more courage to say things like this more often... But when I do, I feel like he's the one with PTSD.. He's been asking why I have a lock on my phone... This forum page link is right on my wallpaper with nothing else. I'm scared for him to see what I'm really going through - because I can be bare here, I don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings here when talking about mine.