My therapist is a sociopath and he doesn't help me

[EveHarrington]

Errr. Uhm. You haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD and professionals say you have delusions of having ptsd. But you have had psychosis. (Let’s get real. It’s not like psychosis doesn’t count if you have it in a psych ward.)

This is a clusterf*ck of a situation. I really don’t feel like dealing with people here who WANT to have ptsd. And ignore professional opinion.

It gets exhausting wading through the people who join this ptsd site and don’t actually have a PTSD diagnosis, and think that self diagnosis is a good idea.

I don’t think you have your mind firmly planted in reality. I’m guessing you struggle with paranoia in a big way. Grabbing on to a popular diagnosis while denying the psychosis isn’t going to do you any favors.

I really only know how to advise those who have ptsd. Not those who only want to have ptsd, for whatever reason.

Peace out.

 

[Stephernovas]

I find it unhelpful because he never speaks about the sexual assault and doesn't talk about PTSD or anything like that which would seem appropriate considering my trauma :/. I know not everyone who have had a trauma get PTSD but he hasn't mentioned it even once and he just seems interested in acting like nothing happened to me and invalidating me.

Okay. I read more into your post. He likely is not addressing the idea of sexual assault and PTSD, because from their assessments they have deemed it to be a part of your psychosis. He is disregarding it because common practice in treating someone struggling with psychosis is to not feed into their delusions. So, to clarify, your therapist is treating you for psychosis, not sexual assault or PTSD. That is why you are writing that you feel invalidated and unheard, because that is accurate. He will not validate anything that will perpetuate your delusions.

 

[Sideways]

He will not validate anything that will perpetuate your delusions.

This.

In a previous thread, you described your sexual assault as ‘a teacher pressed his penis against your bum through a hole in the back of a chair’. He then pulled away.

You clarified that you’ve otherwise had a happy childhood, and that this is the only ‘trauma’ that you’ve experienced.

It’s quite possible that your therapists do not consider what you experienced to be ‘sexual violence’, which is what the criteria A for ptsd requires.

I can understand that you feel you aren’t receiving validation from your therapists. However, it’s also noteworthy that you considered your art teacher to be a sociopath because “he complimented my drawings”, and that the specific way he pulled away from your chair (during the ‘assault’) was specifically intended to prevent you from being able to ever ahade in your drawings ever again.

You’re not gonna like this, but honestly? You display far more delusion and paranoia than ptsd. So I’d agree with @Stephernovas as to why your T isn’t pursuing certain topics with you.

 

[Abstract]

Hi! Its good you are starting to think about this more carefully. I realise it is confusing for you.

It might be worth clarifying a few things with you before commenting further:
What symptoms do you have that you believe are related to PTSD? If you list these out and give specific examples I think that would be helpful.
Have any of the professionals who have treated you been of the opinion that you have pTSD?
Have any of the professionals disbelieved you were assaulted and if so what is their justification?
Have you asked your t directly what he thinks about these?
Your t worked in the same institution you were in. Was he in any way involved in your treatment at the time?

It might be worth noting that a common trait in psychosis is when someones thought process goes like this: 1+1 =5
Or to word it another way : If 1 is there then 2, 3 and 4 must be there too and it therefore means = 5
In order for something to = 5 its important to make sure you have 1, 2, 3, 4 points specified.

PS. is the incident Ragdoll mentions the assault that brought you here and is that an accurate description? I haven't read back your previous threads.

 

[saraemerald]

I'm 18 and I find it unhelpful because he never speaks about the sexual assault and doesn't talk abo...

What's he doing in his position then?! Can you have him removed?! Or report him? Maybe you're not the only one and he's had other complaints

This happens sometimes and it's because unhealed or dysfunctional people end up in positions of processional careers they shouldn't. Unfortunately

 

[Muttly]

Hi, I am glad you are posting too. You've gotten a lot of feedback and it is probably confusing because some people are saying one thing and other people are taking a very different view. I think what would everyone, is if you answer the questions that @Abstract asked. With more information, you might find more consistency in your response to your post.

 

[Gs172003]

This.

In a previous thread, you described your sexual assault as ‘a teacher pressed his penis...

I have to agree.

 

[Deleted member 45588]

Hi! Its good you are starting to think about this more carefully. I realise it is confusing for you......
.

To clarify -
My Media studies teacher put his crotch on my arse through a hole in chair by leaning over me. I did not feel this was consensual and it seemed to be 'sexual assault' by definition in the UK law - meaning the touching was sexual (he put his dick on my bum), unconsensual, intentional (there was no reason for him to lean other really and there was plenty of space), and I gave no indications of wanting the touching ( I was literally just sat there). (Sexual Offences Act 2003). Before he did it, he complimented my Media Studies work and successfully manipulated me by doing that.

---

Thank-you so, so, so much for being more civilised and less unnecessarily hurtful. I will answer all your questions:

What symptoms do you have that you believe are related to PTSD? If you list these out and give specific examples I think that would be helpful?

Ok, I feel numb, detached, I avoid reminders of the trauma, I get flashbacks of the trauma, intrusive thoughts of the trauma but rarely any nightmares. I struggle to concerntate, I panic when I see people who look like the perpetrator, I couldn't go back to the school area so I was avoiding buildings. I avoided talking about what happened for years, I panic if I wear the same or similar clothes I was wearing when it happened.I get flashbacks when I get reminders. Certain songs trigger me, touch triggers me. I was wearing perfume when it happened and I can't stand the smell of perfume and it gives me a flashback (not that I smell bad now though, lol). I feel very anxious a lot of the time, and after I first told someone about what happened I dissociated for a long time (depersonalization). I blamed myself for years over the trauma and sometimes I blame others. I get psychical symptoms too, like shaking, sweating, dilated pupils, tense muscles, increased heart rate, particulary if I get a flashback or reminder. I don't trust people well. I get really scared when I'm reminded of the trauma. I want to vomit sometimes when I think about it. It runs through my mind a lot the trauma. I have had problems with my appetite and I get angry when reminded of the trauma and irritable too. I used to be frightened of loud noises. I used to know the perpetrator's schedule to avoid him. I startle easily. I also worry about the future a lot and I feel I have a short life. I have also lost interest in the activities I used to enjoy, like drawing. I used to have trouble sleeping, and I had one really intense nightmare that really unsettled me. I still blame myself and feel guilty sometimes now I realise, but I try really hard not to. I draw a lot and get engaged in my hobbies a lot to try and forget about the trauma, but I don't have that same interest in it like I had before. The manipulation the teacher did before he did it really makes me feel like it's my fault sometimes. I used to really minimise what happened to me and I was in denial a long time about the sexual assault. I hate words that describe where I was touched. I also a=have problems with self-esteem and I think the world is a bad place.The flashbacks are vivid and I see everything there again and it feels almost as if I am there again seeing everything from my perspective and feeling the sexual assault again (but not in a delusional way I guess). I think I have some alexithymia too and I feel like no one understands me sometimes.

Have any of the professionals who have treated you been of the opinion that you have pTSD?

A doctor once briefly commented that I had lost weight and then mentioned PTSD and asked me if I had been through some sort of trauma but I couldn't say at the time. But other than that, no not really.

Have any of the professionals disbelieved you were assaulted and if so what is their justification?

An occupational therapist said I was misinterpreting what he did due to Autism and she also said it was to do with me not liking personal space. The ones in the institution saying I was psychotic justified it by saying I had imagined it/was delusional/was a psychotic horror who made false allegations all the time. I told a GP about the sexual assault but she told me to go to the Children's Development Center (I was 17 at the time) and well, the occupational therapist said what she said.

Have you asked your t directly what he thinks about these?

Nope never, I will try that out in the next appointment.

Your t worked in the same institution you were in. Was he in any way involved in your treatment at the time?

Nope. There was a different psychologist at the institution.

 

[Gs172003]

To clarify -
My Media studies teacher put his crotch on my arse through a hole in chair by leaning...

I'm just going to throw this out there....

Maybe he didn't intentionally touch you with his crotch, maybe it was just the way he leaned over your chair? Unless there was other things he did besides that I have a hard time calling that an assault. Just my .02

 

[Stephernovas]

I'm going to be honest here, I was totally looking at this objectively and was very open to the possibility of a trauma from what I gathered in your posts. I strive to see every facet of another person's situation before settling on my opinion. At this point, I find it incredibly strange how you have listed that you have EVERY SINGLE symptom possible of PTSD.

The DSM-5 states the criteria for this diagnosis to be ONE symptom in each category.

Sorry, but many of us have been diagnosed with PTSD due to something EXTREME happening. And yes, I am going to be bold and invalidate you here because I almost lost my life and have been struggling ever since - to the point that I have been diagnosed as experiencing SEVERE symptoms. This is not a joke or an enjoyable diagnosis. I want you to clearly understand that from what you have shared there have been several professionals in your life that seem to be saying the same thing regarding your mental health. Given that, and everything you have written in your thread here, I am calling bullsh*t. It is incredibly offensive to those who have suffered terrifying, unspeakable trauma to read your posts and invalidate other's experiences by your claims. Quite honestly it is starting to really piss me off.

Prior to being off work, I worked as a mental health case manager and have a great deal of experience in many other positions in the field that have increased my knowledge and ability to assess individuals struggling with symptoms. Now, granted this is behind a computer screen and I hope you get the actual, in person treatment you need, but I truly don't think you should be claiming PTSD.

Good luck.

 

[Gs172003]

I can't say I necessarily have severe symptoms but I surely don't have them all. To say you have all of them based on one minor incident doesn't mesh. Im sorry but I feel the hospital was right in your assement and I hope you get the right help you need.

 

[Suzetig]

My Media studies teacher put his crotch on my arse through a hole in chair by leaning over me.

Was either the crotch or the arse naked? Seriously, no it's not ok that you were touched in a way you didn't want to be. Intention on his part is neither here nor there, he should have been more aware of personal space. But this is where the whole #metoo culture really pisses me off because it conflates someone putting their hand on my knee on a bus with someone sexually exploiting me for 4 years. Having had both happen, it's the 4 years of sexual exploitation that gives me nightmares. The unwanted touching was upsetting at the time but not something I've given thought to since.

I'm going to be so bold as to say one incident of a fully clothed penis touching your fully clothed arse could not cause PTSD without there being another qualifying trauma. This is one of those incidences where the expansion of the definition of sexual assault is counter productive because it minimises actual sexual assault. If no professional in your life thinks PTSD, but do think psychosis I don't know what you have to gain by insisting they are wrong.