Hello every one:) So glad to be able to share with people who will understand. I am known as a kind, caring person, a mom, a wife, and even a professional. But lately the calm person has eluded me! I feel so, so bad about this. Just started therapy and only recently found out c-PTSD is what was up and has been since I was five. All of this due to child abuse of many kinds. Traumas as an adult being still birth and miscarriages. My hubby is deployed and that is a trigger as well. This is challenging trying to keep it together for my four year old and four month old. So yes it's over whelming for sure. So saying all of this I can't control my anger outburst and In turn punch walls, floors, or anything in my house. My four year old saw me do it tonight so I feel like crap! Please share how this gets better for you and what helped you all. All I have done in therapy so far is talk about babies I have lost and not even touched on the abuse yet. Once work way through all of those issues in therapy will that help? I'm so over it and feeling kinda hopeless:(
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My Worst Symptom Is Anger.
- Post starter Lee2001
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
:hug:
No real advice but please try not to beat yourself up. You're getting help and reaching out to others on the forum. You're being proactive about your healing which is a good thing. Please be gentle with yourself.
No real advice but please try not to beat yourself up. You're getting help and reaching out to others on the forum. You're being proactive about your healing which is a good thing. Please be gentle with yourself.
Missycat
Diamond Member
Hi,
I feel like i have read about myself in relation to the anger outbursts, the hitting walls etc- thats what made me go into therapy as i didnt want to loose my partner or be in a position where i couldnt control it and it effect my career.
My anger stemmed from CSA and in therapy we have done emdr , relaxation, grounding exercises and mindfulness.
I have had 12 sessions and have only discussed a little of the abuse in only a couple of sessions as its so difficult and i tend to dissociate.
Have you spoken to your T about mindfulness / relaxation techniques to help with the anger, this may help you start to move forward. These have certainly helped me with my anger issues.
I wish you well on your healing journey.
MC
I feel like i have read about myself in relation to the anger outbursts, the hitting walls etc- thats what made me go into therapy as i didnt want to loose my partner or be in a position where i couldnt control it and it effect my career.
My anger stemmed from CSA and in therapy we have done emdr , relaxation, grounding exercises and mindfulness.
I have had 12 sessions and have only discussed a little of the abuse in only a couple of sessions as its so difficult and i tend to dissociate.
Have you spoken to your T about mindfulness / relaxation techniques to help with the anger, this may help you start to move forward. These have certainly helped me with my anger issues.
I wish you well on your healing journey.
MC
SometimesWriter
New Here
I'm so sorry you're going through this - my partner has autism and during a meltdown he struggles with this as well. I can tell you from someone on the receiving end that I understand he would never physically hurt me and that part of his process is that he has to physically act out in some way, but it can still be very frightening to be in the room when he goes ballistic and starts punching walls. He has started doing yoga which he feels is helping him to stay present in the moment and focus on calm breathing.
I'm also a crisis-counselor, and I suggest to my callers who have this kind of issue that they seriously look into some form of healthy physical expression - I look at it as your way of coping, your body needs to physically get it OUT and that can be a really positive thing if you can find a way to make it work for you - maybe look into martial arts like MMA for expressing anger or kung fu and tai chi for centering. Or think about buying a punching bag for the house that you and your kids can all use - make it something fun for you and your 4yo, showing them that it's perfectly okay to express yourself like that if you do it in a healthy way.
I think it's great that you're working this all through, we all have different ways of coping and if physically acting out is what helps you get through this, then by all means pursue it and don't feel badly for needing to do something like that, it's really great that you realize you don't want to be "scary" in front of your kids, but I think if this helps you, then there's a way you can do it that will allow you that release but in a safe, fun and healthier way.
I'm also a crisis-counselor, and I suggest to my callers who have this kind of issue that they seriously look into some form of healthy physical expression - I look at it as your way of coping, your body needs to physically get it OUT and that can be a really positive thing if you can find a way to make it work for you - maybe look into martial arts like MMA for expressing anger or kung fu and tai chi for centering. Or think about buying a punching bag for the house that you and your kids can all use - make it something fun for you and your 4yo, showing them that it's perfectly okay to express yourself like that if you do it in a healthy way.
I think it's great that you're working this all through, we all have different ways of coping and if physically acting out is what helps you get through this, then by all means pursue it and don't feel badly for needing to do something like that, it's really great that you realize you don't want to be "scary" in front of your kids, but I think if this helps you, then there's a way you can do it that will allow you that release but in a safe, fun and healthier way.
- Post starter
- #5
Thank you guys... I didn't realize how hard I was on my self and should probably relax a bit. I have not used any methods to help anger except work through some of feelings from the still birth. I will ask my T next time because it's not fun. I don't believe my T has good idea of how much the anger is or how it is bothering me and my relationships. He didn't seem to focus too much on this issue for me. I am so new to Therapy. I assume I can tell him what I would like to work on pronto and this would be it. Again I'm so glad to not be judged here:) thanks again!
- Post starter
- #6
Such great advice! That's such a good idea and I truly bet that would help a lot:)
Shield Flower
New Here
I personally feel this is normal. We are all born with the nature of owning emotions and react to things with different kinds of emotions. So my suggestion is, temporarily, once you do not hurt anyone AND yourself, maybe you can allow yourself to have some spaces to release your anger. Maybe you can thoink about how to solve it AFTER you decide to say something about your abuse. BUT remember do not hurt anyone, including yourself.
PTSDisweird
Bronze Member
Hi Lee.
Each case of PTSD is different. But a lot of people have some SYMPTOMS in common. For example, when I get stressed out my anxiety reaches the roof (happens after the onset of PTSD) and I get anger outbursts and usually fight with my loved ones. In my case, I am naturally an angry person for sure, but no way close to what the PTSD causes. I had to find ways to calm myself at these times, so still I'm doing my best. Some days I do better, some days worse. But I improve with time, to the point I have been told by people that I am more relaxed and calm now. Anger is an issue and you can address it, but in my case at least, working at therapy on your "core" traumas makes it way easier. Again, it's my personal experience and each one of us is different and different things work on us. At the end of the day though, it's not worth beating up yourself like this and give yourself some time when you feel frustrated and try to calm your nervous system. Life is what it is, ups and downs included. Some days are better than others. Take care of and be kind to yourself. Life is beautiful. Make sure to enjoy your time with your kids. :)
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