Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[ms spock]

Jumping to conclusions - people are not just nice because I think they are, and they are not honest, unless that I can see that are honest, and not read their minds that they are trying as hard as me.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Yes, @Disco Dancing Queen, that is the truth. It is a hard one to learn because I think that our mirror neurons look for ways that we are alike, and so we are lead to believe others are the same. At least that's what I got from the article I read on mirror neurons years ago, lol.

I am struggling with maximizing now, I think. I need to let this go, because I have done it in the past.

 

[ms spock]

All or nothing thinking.
Jumping to Conclusions.
Mindreading.
Fortune telling.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Same as @Disco Dancing Queen...plus labeling and mislabeling...(sigh)...

 

[ms spock]

All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
I am doing so much less of this!

Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
Getting better with this one as well.

Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
Not as much

Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
Doing less of this.

Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.
Doing this a hell of a lot less.

Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
I am doing a lot better with this.

Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
This one I have improved out of sight with!

Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
Doing this less as well.

Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
Moved on from this a lot as well.

Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
Moved on from this so much, it is great how much not doing this has changed my life.

 

[ms spock]

All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
Not doing this today.

Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
Not doing this today.

Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
Not doing this today.

Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
Not doing this today.

Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.
Not doing this today.

Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
Not doing this today.

Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
Not doing this today.

Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
Not doing this today.

Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
Not doing this today.

Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
Not doing this today.

 

[user27357]

I see this list all the time and it never has my biggest problem listed;

Assuming that the way we remember things is the way they happened.

You have to learn to distrust the way you remember the past, the same way that detectives have learned to distrust the third and fourth retelling of an event in comparison to the initial report, the way we have learned to look at the "last saved" date on a computer file and balance our trust based on the integrity and historical relevance of the last time the file was opened and saved.

I tend to forget that the conclusions about myself and life in general that I made based on the actions of my parents and other adults were based on the understanding of life of an 11 year old and stop giving those conclusions the weight and value of a conclusion made by an experienced human adult. The criticisms my father laid on me cut me to the bone at eleven, and the remembrance of those criticisms can cut me to the bone at 55 if I give the file the trust that I would give a computer file that was "last saved" by an adult a week ago.

The way we remember things is not the way they happened. We weren't always adults and even though it is the same flow of consciousness that extends back even before the events, it was a different us at the time they happened and our remembrance and our conclusions are not the same as the ones we would form now and we need to shed the ones we formed and rewrite the files once in awhile.

Thats my biggest erroneous thought process, that I remember it so it must be true.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

All or nothing; over-generalizing; fortune telling; I've been busy learning/naming my distorted cognitions today!

After scrolling back up and reviewing DDQ's distorted cognition's list, I discovered that I've left out two: mental filter and disqualifying the positive. (sigh)

 

[ms spock]

I tend to forget that the conclusions about myself and life in general that I made based on the actions of my parents and other adults were based on the understanding of life of an 11 year old and stop giving those conclusions the weight and value of a conclusion made by an experienced human adult.

Great insight!

The criticisms my father laid on me cut me to the bone at eleven, and the remembrance of those criticisms can cut me to the bone at 55 if I give the file the trust that I would give a computer file that was "last saved" by an adult a week ago.

That is just gold! I wrote about this stuff awhile ago, about the helplessness and hopelessness.

The way we remember things is not the way they happened. We weren't always adults and even though it is the same flow of consciousness that extends back even before the events, it was a different us at the time they happened and our remembrance and our conclusions are not the same as the ones we would form now and we need to shed the ones we formed and rewrite the files once in awhile.

We sure do!

Thats my biggest erroneous thought process, that I remember it so it must be true.

Could it be a hybrid between personalisation and emotional reasoning do you think?

Thanks for your insights. I needed to read those today.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

I find it near impossible to forget that my debilitating and exacerbating negative cognitive distortions were (through sexually psychological and physiological torture and abuse by pervs/perps (also "parents") caused and created (brainwashed) now decades to still continue to play by rote into my mind.

Also, I wish oh how I so would like that I could simply and in mere casual manner "think" my way into a better way of positive reinforcing cognitions, rather than as in this particular thread - name my cognitive distortions and stop them in mid-stream and change (flip) the script/dialogue. And I believe doing this takes great honesty and the willingness to work on my distorted thinking and thus hurtful exhausting actions that seem to accompany distorted thoughts.

My negative distorted cognitions stream by rote into my severely traumatized and abused brain thus mind these crippling, out-of-control, cognitive distortions perps/pervs manipulated my then vulnerable malleable mind back then and to still even decades later continue to by rote stream into my subconscious mind and attempt to further cripple me.

If I could only use my intellect to reason these negative destructive and distorted thoughts away...then I could reason with my cptsd to go away as well. Some seem to have this profound mental (cogntive) powerful ability to use sound logic based on undeniable facts and sound reason based on thinking things through and then controlling their thoughts and feelings thus stopping these negative distortions before they play out by rote. And I do not. Therefore, I'll continue to as the distortions play out in my mind - name them, try and list them here in this thread, and again in mid-thought (streaming) try and stop the negative distorted thought(s) and flip the script. Thank you at DDQ for this thread.

 

[ms spock]

Have you worked through the written exercises in David Burns' original book, and the following workbook?

I ask because with the thinking that I had with such intrusive thinking/maladaptive daydreaming/ruminations/dissociation/avoidance/depersonalisation/derealisation as well as distorted cognitions it was never possible to think my way out of it or reason with those well formed neural pathways. My thinking was so distorted I couldn't see it. I would slip in to suicidal ideation as easy as pie. Writing it down makes such a difference, and to be honest I am procrastinating about doing the writing exercises in the workbook, which I have known for sometime that I need to do.

I also have a really good trauma psychiatrist, who is good with the psychotherapy, and travels around Australia and the world in order to do further training.

So I kept hanging in there with threads like this.

I also keep rereading David Burns, periodically, another website that was helpful for me, might be of interest for you, or it might not be of interest for you, is Kristin Neff's website on Self Compassion - I had to deal with the self hatred which engulfed me at the beginning. My thinking was firmly ensconced in that I did not deserve a break. It was a maladaptive behaviour that stopped me for ever being present, it was a good protection, just hard to shift now as an adult.

Just a few thoughts!

 

[user27357]

@JadesJewel

Please excuse what may be perceived as a quick and un thought out response to what I am sure is a problem you have put your best skills and most extreme effort into solving. I cannot know what you have tried and what has almost worked and what has never worked and what has temporarily worked. Personally, I too battle with a "brainwashing" and the echoes of the perpetrators echo in my head but in my own voice making it very difficult to determine whats me and what is the manipulated self that was created against 40 years of my "will". Lots of things almost work or temporarily work or don't work at all, I assume it is the same for you. Maybe I assume too much, sorry.

All of that is the complicated apology for what is a maybe too simple analogy that works for me sometimes.

Picture the bad thoughts as bad food. When you realise you are eating bad food, spit it out and resist any feelings that you might take another bite.

Somehow equating the problem of thinking bad thoughts that hurt you with a deeply rooted survival instinct like avoiding food that will make you sick adds a little bit of strength to the battle, supplied by those old lizard brain survival files we were shipped out stock with.

The next level in human development and understanding would be the ability to learn from others mistakes and avoid them ourselves.

At this point in my life I can look at a situation and decide if it is one I want to enter into based on the effects it has had on others:

Those people over there got drawn into that cult/did things they wouldn't do ordinarily/allowed things to be done to them that will hurt them/bought into a pyramid scheme/whatever. Those people ate bad food and got sick. Not me. I am smarter than that.

too bad we didn't have that skill when the perp's were having their way with us, right?

I am not trying to hijack what has been a great thread, just my thoughts for you this morning. This is a great thread.

I am reminded of a Yogi Bera Quote (he was a catcher for the New York Yankees baseball team, with many great oversimplifications and observations about the human condition attributed to him, but he claims he didn't really say half the stuff he said)

"It ain't the stuff we don't know that hurts us, it's the stuff we know for sure that just ain't right"