Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[ms spock]

I think that this could be a really good thread @PURUSHA. I really don't know @PURUSHA as I struggle with this myself.

Can you google something like "Breaking down confirmation bias?"

The other thing is that those who don't show their struggle and don't talk about their problems are basically John Wayne, and other such individuals in classic Hollywood movies or other toxic constructions of "individuality". They myth of being an individual is laughable because we have millions of years of evolution that mean that we are socially constructed creatures that are highly dependent on each other for social connectedness.

In my mind those that don't talk about their problems generally are dead, and lonely.

Brene Brown is interesting to watch. She did a Ted Talk on Vulnerability. The power of vulnerability Basically if you aren't vulnerable and socially connected you don't have joy, creativity or innovation in your life.

So you could write a list @PURUSHA

I will write more later on

 

[ms spock]

@Living in the 70s
those who Dont show their struggle, talk about their problems are stronger.

Actually they are dead. Anyone who is not socially connected is really at risk in their lives. Brene Brown writes about this in her book "Daring Greatly". If you are lonely you have a 40% more likely to die young.

 

[ms spock]

I'm asking because I realized the other day that I had allowed some naming of things - what I thought was good cognitive practice - to turn into a way to beat myself up somewhat. And when I read a big post like this one, with a large list of distortions attached, it makes me wonder if it's therapeutically useful for you to do this, or if making the post is a way of self-castigation?

If that's the case, it could be useful to try and isolate just one distortion that came up over the course of a day, write more specifically about the incident, and then try and write a more balanced thought. Maybe?

I want to come back to this.

 

[Friday]

I'm asking because I realized the other day that I had allowed some naming of things - what I thought was good cognitive practice - to turn into a way to beat myself up somewhat. And when I read a big post like this one, with a large list of distortions attached, it makes me wonder if it's therapeutically useful for you to do this, or if making the post is a way of self-castigation?

You know... that’s an interesting thought.

There’s a teaching kids practice of teaching them how to narrate (& later once they can order things how to highlight/concise it up, instead of the super sequential; first I woke up, then I opened my eyes, then I stretched, then I had to pee, then I sat up, then I got out of bed, then I put my feet on the floor, then I took a step, and another, and another, and theeeeeeeeen I opened my door...).

In a nutshell, it’s being very careful what you ask about, because that’s what they start to look for (and assign greater value to).

What was something funny that happened at school today?
What was something exciting?
What was your favorite part of today?
What did you totally conquer! today at school?

Instead of asking if school was hard, or if so&so was a big meanie, or who got in trouble, etc.

And if you can be mostly consistent in what you ask for? After a fairly short time you start getting THE LIST of babbling happy kid sharing all that was funny, and interesting, and challenging... not just to you / because you’ll be asking... but to everyone. Because that’s what stands out to them during the day. Ha! This was hilarious! OMG! How exciting! // Meanwhile kids who are consistently asked if it was hard, sad, scary? Tend to look for those things, and kind of slump/sigh Eeyore about.

There’s sooooooooo much “back to basics” with PTSD, I wonder how much looking at what you’re doing wrong is training zeh brain to do exactly that - seek out what’s wrong? Assigning value to exactly the opposite of what CBT / CPT is attempting to teach.

Kind of like OD’ing on vitamins, or using exercise as self harm.

Instead of balance & strength & flexibility ... when the automatic response becomes “I’m supposed to be noticing what I’m struggling with”... that’s what is assigned value, and notice/attention? At one level, and using exactly what you’re noticing in order to beat yourself up on another level?

Anyhow, just thinking out loud.

 

[ms spock]

Yeah that is what I am doing @Friday. Didn't realise it, but it is what I am doing.

I am apparently too hard on myself. I keep getting told this.

 

[ms spock]

I always thought this would be one of the most popular threads on the forum given how important this information is.

 

[ms spock]

This was a thread that I started awhile ago, @Freida you might find this of interest? It goes through the application of breaking down the distorted cognitions.

 

[ms spock]

@SeekingAfrica you might find this interesting? You can see the evolution of understanding distorted thinking here.

 

[ms spock]

@Slushie you might find this interesting? It is a thread showing how to break down distorted thoughts.

 

[Ronin]

Back on the Name that distorted... lane...

Disqualifying the positive and magnification / minimization.
(Trying to untangle depressive reasoning distortions vs. core beliefs and where they feed each other, so figured I would start somewhere I know where to start.)

 

[Deleted member 42984]

One of mine is: people abandon me. Even though that is not entirely true, I often find myself focusing on those people who left me for one reason or another

 

[ms spock]

I am struggling. I am doing a lot of emotional reasoning. It is a long term vicious cycle.

I am feeling bad about myself and my life.

So I am thinking my life and my self is bad, very bad indeed. And then I feel I am bad, and I have no one, and then I am using the emotional reasoning to feel I am bad, and then I am thinking how I am bad.