So I noticed more distorted thinking, feeling and perceptions today. It feels overwhelming at times, but I can break these down bit by bit.
The rumination about my study is not based on reality - emotions come up about the massacres - and the practices - genocide - the institutionalised racism that is Australian society - there is a lot to it - but I am overthinking it - just write the damn essay woman and get on with it.
It is hard to manage the feelings that come up reading the developmental stages for adolescents - different ones from different theorists granted, but I pretty much skipped over them all. It is amazing that I managed to do any thing really. So it is hard but I can do it. I keep cycling around. I have to stop it. It is sad what I missed out, it really is, but ruminating about it now is not going to change my life and get me further along the healing path.
I have to pick apart the rumination and the past thinking. I am wasting too much energy on that and I am torturing myself for no good reason. What is done is done. None of it can be done over.