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Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

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Giving this a shot.

Proportion distorting about everything. But I decided to do something with associated habits & not indulge.

I hate relying on other people when the action isn't even coordinated prior. Though just because booze feels as a better friend to kill time meanwhile does not make it so.
 
I am still noting my self abusive, self attacking and self doubting thinking, feeling and perceiving. It is quite entrenched within my psyche.
 
My head lies to me that I am not capable and competent.

My thoughts lie to me that I am safe hiding away.

My thoughts lie to me that I can't do it.

My thoughts lie to me that I am bad and deserved all the abuse.

My thoughts lie to me that I cannot manage my emotions.

My thoughts just lie and lie and are so distorted.

I am so lucky to be able to deal with this now. I have the skills! I can do it!
 
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I have become aware of another level of cognitive distortions in my thinking to do with feeling helpless, hopeless and and just feeling incapable and incompetent. It is the feeling that nothing I can do will ever be good enough. That feels so real, it feels so absolutely real, it is not the truth at all, but it feels like the truth.
 
  1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
  2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
  3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
  4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
  5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
  6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
  7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
  8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
  9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
  10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
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I am becoming a bit more aware of my patterns of dissociation and avoidance and their relationship to my distorted cognitions. I have some deeply embedded distorted perceiving, thinking and feeling.
 
I was hoping that this thread would take off and members would drop by each day to check in about what distorted cognitions that they have, but it didn't turn out that way. I am a little wistful about it. But it is what is it!

This noting and managing my distorted thoughts, feelings and perceptions is actually really hard work.

I have learnt a little more lately, and my head does go around in some rumination cycles, that is for sure. But to a deeper level than I realise - my instinctive responses are distorted.

I also have found that the Mindfulness - (and it is a really shitty way to begin the day waking up with panic attacks - but with all the hard practice - doing the yoga nidra over and over again and then doing the body scan over and over again) - some mornings I do two or three hours of it - well all that practice has helped me now to have some insight into my dissociation, an entrenched habit from my childhood.

I can see how I can keep coming back to the now and just keep doing being present in this moment, it doesn't matter when I dissociate or avoid because when I notice it I can come back again and I will just have to keep doing that again and again and again.

The other thing is that my thoughts, feelings and perception is practice self hate against myself minute in and minute out, hour in and hour out and day in and day out.

So I am trying to focus on doing loving kindness and self compassion and it is really hard.

I didn't get how much I have been brought up to hate and detest myself.

So it is more practice.

However I wouldn't have gotten to this point without therapy, the David Burns book, the Mindfulness and the hours I practice each day and the constant disputing of cognitive distortion, the Alexander Technique - I just need to move to a safer place and then I can do exercise. I am hoping that I will improve more when that happens.

So it does take a lot of time and effort, and I am not finding it easy. I am finding it very, very hard. But it is worth it.
 
My rumination and dissociation has been really quite bad tonight. I am living in a very stressful situation, but I have to snap out of it to get it together to manage to do my work so I can earn some money to get somewhere safe to live.
 
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