Relationship Need Perspective

[Wtfiswrong]

Look at it from his side for a minute. You left him. So obviously you don't want to talk to him. So wh...

I left him because he had nothing to say about why I wanted to leave in the first place.

If the situation was reversersed I would have done anything in my power to explain what was going on. Even if I knew the end result would be the same. If I was the one in the wrong who had hurt my long term partner . I would be an adult and treat the manner as so.

He acted like a guy in high school who was ready for the next one.

You don't treat women you say you love that way.

He dismissed me and the entire relationship

 

[Sighs]

Sigh. You asked for perspective. Every time someone has offered another perspective on this situation you have insisted he was in the wrong and he "should" have done something different. If you want to vent then vent away, but why ask for something (ie: perspective) if in fact you don't want it? You may want to re-read this thread in about two weeks when some of the emotion has settled.

 

[Friday]

Yep makes total sense. If we had the Convo.

Thats a thing?

last time I checked grown adults in long term relationships talk about breaking up. Right?

I never have. Before PTSD or After. Including people that we remained friends &/or colleagues.

Talk about staying together? Yes.
Talk about breaking up? :O_o: What's there to talk about?

I would never want to leave him or anyone for that matter with those sort of negative feelings.That they know hurt them to the core.

This just doesn't make sense to me. The person who is dumped is supposed to make the person dumping them feel better? :confused:

***

Just to be clear, it's not that I don't think you have a right to be mad. He cheated on you & had been stringing you along for all or most of the relationship. He disrespected you, abused your trust, deceived you, & wasted your time.

Where I keep getting stuck, though, is your hyper focusing on his not fighting for you, not putting you first, not reaching out to make sure you're okay, to apologize, to A, to B, to C... Do this very definite list of things you seem to want done... Now that you've broken up.

***

ETA... What @Sighs said!

 

[TheMinsterman]

I understand you pain, I honestly do.

But this is coming from a supporter who is, it's not unreasonable to assume, may end up being on the receiving end of a relationship termination in the near future.

There's not a chance in hell that if she breaks up with me and dumps me that I will give even a slightest ounce of attention to make sure she isn't in pain. My obligations to her terminate the moment we are no longer together, the fact she is in a PTSD spiral is even irrelevant at that stage, when you are rejected and discarded the very last things on your mind is "how can I make this easier for the other person?" I may love my (God knows at this point) girlfriend, but if she wants me out of her life, well I'm sorry, I don't care if she has a descent into misery and is in pain or hurt, if she wanted me to then she'd not have cut me out of her life.

They just went and made it very much easier for themselves by ridding themselves of you, harsh but true.

You're expecting some sort of explanation and proof of a love that you'll never get, if he was unfaithful he obviously didn't regard you that highly in the first place anyway. He isn't going to fight for you because for one you vocalised you want it to be over and two to be honest, he obviously doesn't care all that much.

That isn't a reflection on you, but you are expecting something from somebody who isn't in a position emotionally to give you it, you're frustrating yourself and fighting a losing battle that is only going to cause you more anguish and pain. My advice? Focus your energy on WHY you chose to terminate the relationship, it was toxic, he didn't care enough about you, his PTSD is no excuse for cheating. You're not likely to get closure, so make your own, it's the best for you.