Need something to do

[Prough]

Hi guys. I've been suffering from ptsd for a while now. I've recently turned a mind to fixing this issue and I'm hitting a roadblock. I am so bored. It really seems trivial but at the moment, it's driving me nuts.

I know the loop. Something minor happens. I just sit on it because I think it is a trifle thing. Then 3 days with no human contact. Add some drugs, news, video games. Then listen to that logic, that tells you everything is your fault, and everything you like is in jeopardy. Now the lint trap being full, is grounds for a full blown war. Clearly I need to get out more.

I've been suffering for a while now and I've gotten pretty good at telling people to f*ck off, so they don't come around anymore. All the people who I haven't told off yet seem to hang out in places where I am terrified to go. My girlfriend sticks by me, which is cool, but shes got a kid and a job, and she has to take care of me, so she doesnt exactly go out much either.

I guess what I'm asking for, is how do I start building this social life thing people keep talking about, with my condition?

 

[ladee]

Do you have any hobbies? Or a hobby you have wanted to start? There are great meet up groups for people who have the same hobbies....
Do you like to excercise, maybe joining a gym , it will help you physically and you will meet people there....

Hobbies are good for us to have even if we still don't want to be around too many people.... look into some things you have been wanting to learn and that holds your interests..... and if nothing else, you can practice conversation with us in the meantime.....

 

[Prough]

Thank you for your reply :)

I do have hobbies. I kind of set em up to keep people out. I get nervous that if I spend too much time around too many people I might wig out. I used to try those video games on the internet. After a few weeks it would always turn to shit so I kinda stopped trying those. My gf keeps trying to get me to get the dog to go on play dates with other dogs. I'm so nervous around dogs though, and we've been bit more then once. I'll keep trying those because I know the dog needs social interaction, but it is terrifying.

I don't exercise. At the moment I'm not really in a position to do so. Even if my body recovers, I hate exercising. I know it's good for me but the army made me hate it sooo much.

As for new hobbies, there are these little miniatures that you paint. They sell em at a shop in town. I kind of thought of doing that but they are like super friendly in there. I went in once, and the dude working there jumped me. He was like a used cars salesman. He was really nice, but I just can't handle that level of enthusiasm. I haven't given up on that place, but they are all like that, Its like their business strategy or something.

I will admit since using this forum, my gf has mentioned me being more eloquent. I'm not sure I'm ready to hang out with some tabletop nerds, or gym rats yet.

 

[LuckiLee]

Glad you're trying to change your situation! It's so difficult for my guy to make friends. Like you the friends he did have are no longer around.

I on the other hand have a boatload of very close friends. I still hang with my elementary school friends. We do alot together and J usually comes along too. But he doesn't connect with any of them. And he tries!! Don't get me wrong he likes them and we have alot of fun but he wouldn't plan anything with them. IDK it's weird. Their "problems" are so trivial sometimes he can get a little aggravated. (damn civilians) ;)

We're planning on taking a cooking class together. Maybe how to make perogie or something. Just a one night class at first. See how it goes.

I'm also going to look into the WWproject. They have a chapter about an hour from us. They always have something going on.

Don't give up. We're not!

 

[ladee]

Happy to hear there are some thing you are interested in.... but I really get not wanting to be around a lot of people, for me,too much noise and movement.....but even if you find a hobby that is more solitary, it will help you to settle your mind....
Are you in Therapy? Or on any meds for anxiety? Do you have the concentration for some meditation.... without all the rituals, just simply setting and letting your mind settle down.....
Have you tried yoga? That would be good for you possibly, it tends to be more quite, as you are learning the poses.... or you could even see if there is some directions on YouTube
....
Have you tried painting? One of my favorite hobbies is working with polymer clay... it can be cured in a home oven or a toaster oven. Thousands of tutorials on YouTube, It is theraputic softening the clay, and there isn't much you can't do with it... check it out... polymer clay... Some of the best artists are men.... and also Google Zentangle.... it is drawing..... really soothes your mind.... hope these suggestions are not too girly for you.... but I can't stand to be bored.... I tend to end up in the rabbit hole, if I let it go on too long....

Don't give up, spend time Googling different things you think you might be interested in.... and check out YouTube..... tutorials on everything under the sun.....It really heps us to be creative in some form...like learning to play the guitar... ever wanted to learn an instrument... or taking pictures..... oh my, I sound like the hobby shop guy..... excuse my enthusiasm..... :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Seriously, hope you find something you enjoy and it helps you to relax and have some fun..... we need fun too.... let us know how it's going...

 

[Prough]

So many sugguestions:)

I had considered classes before. They have dancing classes for pretty cheap. I never liked dancing but to be honest it would probably be good just to break up my routine. I initially ruled it out. I felt guilty for occupying more of my gf's time. I should talk to her about it. She has been super stressed lately, and it may relieve some. Kind of up to her though.

As far as therapy, pills, and all that stuff, I think they might help. I'm working toward getting a hold of some but it takes time. I think you're picking up on a lot of my frustration. Untill i get that stuff it'll be slow going, no reason not to try though right?

I don't think I have the concentration to learn by myself anymore, but I have a plan. Thing is I'm not sure if it's appropriate; my gf has a daughter who is a decent artist. She is 17, we have lived together for 6 years, we first met 8 years ago. I would describe our relationship as "cold and respectfull". Would it be inappropriate to ask her for tutelage?

The enthusiasm isn't bad here. It's easier to handle on the net. None of you have voices, eyes, agendas, weapons. You're just friendly words left by friendly people. Kind of makes me feel safe, ya know.

 

[LuckiLee]

Ok. I'm on a mission to come up with more ideas for us!

Check out your local craft store. They have thousands of different projects to choose from. Then you can ask your step daughter some pointers. This may also help your relationship with her.

Your local library may have some events scheduled.

Our local parks have different things going on too. Nature walks, different classes about the area...

Maybe you have a neighbor who needs help around their home. See if anyone needs any yard work done. Being outside and working with the earth is definitely therapeutic.

Just a few ideas to get us started. I'm going to keep brainstorming.

Now I just have to get my guy involved. ;)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was like you for a long time, anybody ask me about hobbies and I would just cringe because I am a loner type and not too crafty anymore.

But recently I picked up an old passion of mine, landscaping. I live in a apartment complex and have a yard that was neglected for three years. It was recently cleaned up and I have a blank slate to work with and had so many plants in pots because the ground was too hard to plant anything in it and all it grew was weeds for two years until most of them finally got pulled out. Then I had a flux of wild plants that got cleaned out and I am once more getting my hands in the soil once again and I am in love with this planting of various plants and arranging them. One of the things my husband and I used to do was to visit all kinds of nurseries wherever we went and collected quite a few interesting plants. I have missed that since living in this apartment. I feel so excited once again and really alive fully alive and loving my life and no longer bored. I have also started reading books again, another old passion.

So my question to you is.....was there anything before your diagnosis that you truly loved and was passionate about? I always used to draw a blank before so do not despair if this happens to you too. Just give it some time and some thought to find something that you love to do or loved to do before all of this hit you. I guarentee you that you will feel so much better once you have connected to a really deep part of yourself that possibly you had forgotten or to actually explore different options and discover what does it for you. It will stop your boredom which drives me nuts too. I wish you good luck in this exploration of yourself and your needs and wants.

 

[Prough]

You know you guys are the reason I keep paying my isp so much.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but a few years back I moved out to the country because I couldn't handle most of those things. I think our library has like 75 books. I have tried some of these things, however with some levels of success in the past. I got 2 neighbors; one of which is a bunch of assholes. f*ck them untill they pay for my goddamn fence. The other neighbors are really nice though.

A while back sue talked me into going to a bbq with them. Half the neighberhood was there(like 15 people). Both sue and the neighbors said they had a good time, but I remember it very differently. I still lose sleep over that barbeque, and when I see my neighbors I draw my shades now.

I had also tried working the land at my new house. I've never known agriculture, I grew up in a big city so no surprise. But trying to learn was really frustrating for me. After a year or so, and a trail of dead plants, I'm starting to think this task is beyond me. I also think that being constantly reminded of my new limitations, is doing more harm than good.

Before my diagnosis is a tough one. The only doctors I've ever seen on a regular basis were my bosses. I'm a little behind the curve on the whole "root of my problem" thing. I got memory issues so it'll take a while to sort through all the mist. When I was young I lived a pretty basic life. I never liked hanging out with humans. I stopped going to school consistently around 9. Most of my days were spent jamming on my super nintendo, going to the library to learn, and trying to earn money.

Our library sucks, but wikipedia kicks ass. I still go on the web to try and educate myself. I'm way dumber then I used to be, but in a weird way It's better this way, more challenge. The problem is... it's the internet. Way less calm then the library back home. It still works, and is a great source of solace, and stress relief. I have to pace myself though, too much internet really f*cks me up.

I also still play videogames. The exact same videogames I played when I was a kid. It's a multi-billion dollar industry, and I'm still playing reruns from the 90's. They kind of numb me. Help keep me from biting off too much of a day. I know it's a tool I can use to reach out, and I have tried. I bought one of those multi-player games. Me and sue play it sometimes. She has fun and we bond. But for me it is terrifying. I'll keep doing it but it's been months since we played last, and I'm just not ready to go through that again.

I'll keep digging see if there is a long lost hobby I forgot. I went and tried a 'nature walk' before posting. No. I'll stick with the gardening stuff too. I hate it but I thing it's good for me. I'm so glad you guys are sticking with me.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

So many great suggestions already shared....great thread!

There's a website called Udemy that offers online classes covering many interests...some free, some pay what you will, and others for a set fee. Usually around each holiday they'll have a sale where all the classes are offered for $10. I've taken a few of those along with several of the free ones. Enjoyed them all, so far.

Khan Academy online is another good place to learn cool stuff presented in a way that I find easy to follow.

You tube remains a favorite avenue of all the things I never knew I needed to learn, too. lol

They don't always promote social interaction, but they often can.

One of the most fun things I've learned how to do is make hula hoops and finally learn how to use one. I learned how to do both from a you tube video, had a hula hoop making party at my house at the request of a local community member who was seeking a space large enough, and now it's one of my favorite daily exercises that invites conversation when I do it in public.

How to Make PROFESSIONAL Hula Hoops (for less than 6 dollars a hoop!)

Making them is a breeze, but learning to keep the damn things up on my waist, not so much. lol It took a while, and I looked like a fool trying, but I made myself practice for 2 weeks straight for at least 30 minutes a day until it finally took. After I got the basics down, I went to a hula hoop dance class taught through the local parks and rec office. What a hoot! I still look like a fool more often than not, but I no longer care. lol

You have to buy a 100 ft. roll of tubing to make them, so there's always plenty to share. I took some to a local home school group and did a demo on how to make them, let them decorate them, then played games and hooped. It's great exercise, too! I hoop for the fun of it and move for the health of it.

Gardening is another favorite...and wild foraging for edibles. Autumn olives, wild plantain, dandelion greens, spruce tips, catnip, lambsquarters, purslane, stinging nettles, yellow dock, burdock root, etc., etc. I remain fascinated at the abundance of nutrition that surrounds us for free.

Have you tried the lasagna and/or the no-till gardening methods? I used to not be able to keep a cactus alive, and now we grow lots of stuff...some in pots, some in those big giant tree pots from the nurseries, and some ground spots. I learned a lot by volunteering to help with other local organic farmers and some of the community gardens. Permaculture stuff fascinates me to no end. Edible landscaping is what I wish to one day be even more surrounded by than I already am. The Garden of Eden dude who uses wood chips is fascinating, too.

Sorry for rambling...hope it helped plant a seed or two. May you find some beneficial fun grooves to breathe some new life into your days. Take good care.

 

[ladee]

Well, even if you don't find something to fill the boredom, you are making new friends... the kind you can just 'turn off' when we get on your nerves :D
One of the reasons i love this place so much, we talk about all kinds of things.. and if you are having difficulty with something, we are supportive and we do understand.... for me, I have chronic depression to go along with PTSD, so,often, I just don't feel like doing one of my many hobbies...

But we will keep making suggestions, and you seem to be asking yourself questions about this , so it's a win win... you are meeting some of us, you are seeing that we care, aren't judging , just making suggestions.... and it helps you to get out here a little.... so, it took courage for you to ask to begin with... looks like this will be a good thing.... glad you here and we are getting to know you!!!

 

[Prough]

Sorry for the late reply.

Initialy I came at this looking for something social to do. I think that's just the lonelyness. Kind of like dreaming about steak when you're starving. I've been looking over your guys' suggestions, I think a steak would just give me a tummy ache. I'm not ready to hang out with people just yet; but I can still do new stuff.

That dude ranting about hula hoops got me thinking, I used to study spanish but I stopped after my injury. I didn't like it at the time, cause to be frank, the only spanish speakers I knew were patients. My sister in law and her kid are spanish speakers. Hell like a third of my state is mexican. Maybe I can use this to prepare me for when I'm ready to do social stuff. Either way, my last mri was pretty bad, if I'm going to reverse anything, language isn't a bad place to start. I get paid at the end of the month, I think I'll sign up for one of those internet language things.

I'm kind of scared because I remember why I stopped. After I hit my head it got really hard to concentrate, and I'd get headaches. That was 2009. These days the headaches never stop, but my concentration is a little better. I'll pick one with a refund policy in case I can't keep up. I kind of hope that over time it might help with the brain issues, but I'm not a neurologist. If nothing else the distraction will be very good for my ptsd.

Everyone is so jealous of all the free time I have. "Must be nice to do anything you want", "you never have to go to work", "wish I could stay home all day and play video games". I've never been able to tell people how miserable it is. Kind of like bitching about the heat to your buddy in alaska. Thank you for understanding my position. You guys kick ass.