Need to learn to be angry??

[Freida]

@EveHarrington Ok. That makes sense. . I think I'm afraid to feel anger because then I will feel sad about what caused the anger

Still not a fan but it makes to much sense to ignore

 

[gealach]

Anger? I saw that daily as a kid. Over everything. Over nothing. Over nonsense. I don't know what anger is supposed to be, or look like, in the real world, but in my world anger was (and still is) a convenient excuse to over react to some small thing then hurl venom and abuse on someone else. I get frustrated. I get irritated. I get disgusted. I don't get angry. Apparently that's something I need to work on.

Rage? I suppress that shit. If I didn't, the big bang would look like a popcorn fart, compared to what I would unleash. I don't let rage out to play, she doesn't like people.

repression, suppression, smile, be polite.... survival

 

[Warrior Chicken]

Thanks @Freida for starting this one....and for everyone who’s chimed in on the subject. I’m also enrolled in the crash course on how to speak ‘angry’. That it’s ok to express it and not turn it on ourselves.
And yeah @brokenEMT....I have the same code “repression, suppression, smile, be polite....survival” even though my creative process is typically in far more colourful places when reminding myself of that mantra.
I’ve got a fair amount of confusion when it comes to this subject, so it’s helpful to know that we’ll take this head on as a team.
F*€k anger, no wait....yay anger let me speak my mind!
Except first I have to convince myself that others might want to hear it.

 

[The Albatross]

@Freida re: your question... Yup, yup, yup. :tup::tup:

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I feel plenty of anger, but I keep it hidden. From my earliest thoughts, I felt like life should be fair (probably a core belief), such a laughable thought. Maybe, in life, there should be justice. Again, laughable. There will always be different rules for different people. And it makes me f*cking angry. I am currently really angry about a lot of stuff. But the most I can do to express it is write about it. I am afraid to show it or say it to anyone. I think it is some sort of weird survival instinct. I don't understand it.

Have you read the swearish rant thread? Some of the stuff that comes out of me in there blows my mind. First off, I was never allowed to cuss and second, people that know me would probably go into shock if they read it. Reading it may be a start to witnessing anger in its purest form.

 

[Freida]

thats a good idea! This anniversary is hitting me really hard this year --- as my rant on the other thread goes on and on. But I think I might actually be angry this time around instead of afraid. hmmmmmm

 

[deeplyloved]

I was just going to post on my diary about a strange reaction to something that happened the other day. My insurance denied me mental health reimbursement...and instead of feeling panic and despair, i got angry! It was so clear to me that their denial was unjust and unethical. It was also clear that i freaking deserve support and care and effective treatment and how dare they suggest that i don’t. I’m sure they have found a loophole and perhaps i won’t win this fight... But somehow this has triggered righteous anger and the feeling that i am worth fighting for. It’s a new feeling and it has something to teach me.

 

[Freida]

@deeplyloved keep me posted! I think I'm cranky about my anniversary issue so i m curious to see how it goes for you.

 

[Gadgie]

I found anger a long time ago, it came along with the mood swings, which I couldn’t understand until I was diagnosed with PTSD.

My temper flares up really quicky now, and the scary thing is I can’t seem to control it?

 

[Freida]

@Gadgie I'm kind of afraid of that .. that it will bubble up and I wont be able to keep control of it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

For me, my anger seems to mostly feel like irritation. So when I notice myself getting irritated easily? Now I know - I’m angry.

I used to get uncontrolled rage as a teenager but I suppress it and would not recognize it in me except for the being irritated and this is a real great help to me because I need a red flag to warn me because now when I get irritated, it go passive aggressive angry at some innocent person sometimes. So thank you very much for sharing this nugget of truth.

means I’m worth getting angry for. And that was the issue for me.

I have to work on my being worth getting angry for because the self worth is at the bottom and never gets got to. This is a real helpful thing to know. I will have to journal about this to get it clear in my head.

Definitely a big part of my trauma was I plain old wasn’t allowed to be angry. It wasn’t just unsafe to be angry, I got programmed to turn anger into self-punishment.

I was never ever allowed to get angry and like I said I had uncontrolled rage as a teenager at times and was very destructive breaking and thrashing things around. It reared its ugly head when my son was born and that is why I got into therapy to seek help but never was able to resolve it because I was suppressing it. I also turned my anger inwards towards me.

Recognizing anger? Is important. But attaching it to the right thing? Even more important IMO.

How did you learn to do this? I think I need to learn how to do this too.

I think I'm afraid to feel anger because then I will feel sad about what caused the anger

I just recently found my voice so my frustration and irritation is becoming more and more of a thing for me now. I am just now beginning to feel the hurt feelings and the emotional pain is so very intense, but sometimes I feel anger but it does not last. I think being able to recognize when I am frustrated and irritated will help me to finally be able to begin to express anger.

Rage? I suppress that shit.

I have done this all of my life and I honestly think I expressed rage as a teenager was because I was on drugs and it lowered my inhibitions but I was still making the choice to act out.

I loved that you shared this here. I feel hopeful for the first time in knowing a few tips to help guide me in feeling and expressing my anger so thank everyone and you for this thread. Something I have struggled with my entire life. By the way, I was not allowed to say no to my abusive parents ever and when ever I did speak up punishment was fast and furious.