Neverthesame's Stupid Lessons Learned The Hard Way.

[ladee]

Good to hear @Neverthesame, because that is the line that got me !!!! I didn't want to be rude but you are quite the story teller..... thanks, I needed a laugh, still feel bad for the guy tho....

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks for clearing that up for me @Neverthesame! :eek: But also :laugh:!

 

[Changing4Best]

My husband had, had a massive stroke years before and he needed to use a urinal bottle, because he only had the use of his right hand, not his left. He also could only take a few steps with a half walker, so going to the bathroom regularly was a thing of the past for him. He used the bottle unless he had to take a crap. Anyway, the bottle was full and he asked me to empty it for him, as he always did.

I was doing the dishes, so I told him to wait a minute. About a minute later, he asked me again to empty it for him. (he was on diuretics, you know, the drug that makes you pee a lot).

I again told him I would get to it in a minute, as soon as I finished doing the dishes.

Next thing I know there is something that bonks rather hard on the back of my head head and there is urine all over the kitchen, my hair, my cloths and on the clean dishes as well as the dirty ones!

He always was an impatient man, but after he had his stroke, he was even more so. I should have known better, but I was just trying to get something done. You know? Just once, before he needed me for something again. He always needed me for something, but we owned a motel and so I always had things I needed to do, usually for him, but also for the guests and if ever I had a spare moment, for myself. Usually I did not get around to doing things for myself though. And I was only getting maybe 3 hours of sleep a night.

It was a rough time in my life, until I placed him in a nursing home. Then I slept for 3 months non-stop! After that, I became homeless for 3 years and finally got my Disability. Those were the toughest years of my life.

But life is not easy now either! Living on a small Government income is hard!

We lost the motel, due to the travel crunch after the World Trade Center bombing. No one was travelling by plane any longer and our guests had all been coming to us from the airport. I ended up handing the motel back to the bank, doing a "DEED IN LIEU OF FORECLOSURE."

That was another stupid thing I did. I should have at least tried to stick it out and keep the motel, but I was so exhausted and there were other factors too, too detailed to explain here. Suffice it to say, I did a bunch of stupid things that cost me my home, my job and almost my life all in a very short period of time.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! I did some stupid things as well in my past, which looking back on it now, cost me a lot both financially and emotionally.

I do try really hard to live in the present, and leave the past behind, but sometimes it comes up and bites my ass?

Like you I've gone through some shit, but have moved on now, and trying my best to live a life. I spent seven years stuck in this house caring for my late wife, who was bed bound, it was like being under house a arrest, as I couldn't go out even for shopping, unless someone was with her, or even have a shower?

Her family were of little help during all that time, but turned up towards the end, then she stabbed me in the back just before she passed, by giving her kids all of "our life savings," and signed her half of our house, over to her youngest son, (a total waster)

So, yes I'm hurt and bitter about it, as I couldn't even afford to bury her, as she left me with less than £100 in the bank, she gave all that away to them as well, along with everything of value that we owned?

 

[Neverthesame]

@Cj77 No problem. I was rather curious about that myself, especially since I didn't actually see it myself. Since the bleeding was controlled quickly, I didn't think it necessary to force the door open. But I was scratching my head about how something like that can happen through normal intercourse.

@SheilaKathy Oh dear, that must have been a frightful mess.

Exhaustion is a difficult thing to fight. Having to support yourself on a next to no sleep for long periods of time, is very difficult. It's so hard to make yourself care about even basic needs, when all you want is to lay down.

@Gadgie That is such a sad thing. I don't blame you for being bitter, I would be too.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote.........."I don't blame you for being bitter, I would be too."

I'm really trying to put all that behind me, but sometimes I can't help but think of it, and it makes me so depressed and angry!

I think it would help if I had a better life than I presently have, as that would give me something else to focus on. Perhaps a friend or someone to share my thoughts with, I don't know, or somewhere to go to break up this routine I seem to have settled into.

Maybe things will change when the summer comes, and I can get out and about more, and maybe potter about in the garden.

 

[ladee]

@ Gadgie, are there places around you that people get together and have coffee? Is there some volunteer work you might enjoy? What are some of your interests? You could even get some 'starter plants' going in the house before summer?
You have been dealt an ugly hand.... but you are trying to live in today... that takes work and courage... find something you want to learn about, go online or to the library and see what you can find on the subject. Many churches on our area have 'walk in coffee's' for people to get to know each other and make new friends... You don't have to be a member of the church to do that....
It may only get 'different' before it gets 'better', but wishing you success on finding something to make you happier.

 

[Gadgie]

Hi Ladee, thing is I can't mix with people any more, and since my father died, I've not had a good relationship with Church, ( it was the church that caused his passing, by putting him in a cold damp dingy house, with no central heating, and just one open fire place for heating the whole house)

He died of pneumonia, after living in it for three years, the damp was so bad, the wall paper was held up with drawing pins!

I would like to volunteer for things, but my mobility is limited, since I can't wear my back brace. I don't feel ready to face the world yet?

 

[ladee]

Do you mind me asking your age @Gadgie?

 

[Gadgie]

No problem, I'm 64, but I don't feel it, sometimes I feel like a younger man trapped in an old body?

 

[ladee]

Oh I get that, my brain is clueless that I am 65, but my body lets me know very quickly... are there any crafts you might find interesting?? Something to keep your mind busy? I know this may sound 'girly', but there are many Adult coloring books out there now... I relax so much when doing one. Go to Amazon and look at all they have. I like to do Mandela's..... but I have many crafts I like to do, sculpting is my favorite... we gotta find something to keep you busy and entertained !!! Think about some things you always wanted to do but was too busy.....

 

[Gadgie]

I'm always busy, that's never a problem for me, and when the summer comes I will be even busier. I used to do calligraphy, you know wedding invitations, place cards and the like, but have lost the art over the years.

So, I'm never really bored as I have always got something to do.