Sufferer New, confused and optimistic

[Lost in the Woods]

Hi, I am just starting my PTSD recovery journey. I also have a degenerative neurological condition that I have been dealing with the last 23 years. I get neuropsych evaluations every couple of years and one of those maybe 20 years ago ruled out PTSD so I haven’t thought about it since. Maybe 6 weeks ago my therapist said I had it. Coincidentally my wife of almost 28 years decided we needed to live apart, maybe permanently.

Of course I was devastated. I moved a thousand miles away to a little hippie town in the Southwest where I owned a small home. It was the only place I could think of since I have very few friends. I have been wallowing in pain desperate to save the marriage. I started reading about PTSD online when I came across an article on emotional dysregulation. It was like, my God this is a biography of my emotional life.

Since I am in a different state and my former therapist isn’t licensed here I had to find a new therapist. I had my first meeting with her yesterday and she totally confirmed emotional dysregulation. Since I had attributed all my issues to the neuro condition this was great news, through hard work I can improve.

My thoughts on the marriage are evolving. I love her greatly but it might not be the best place for me to heal. When I first arrived here all I felt was emptiness and a need to save the marriage. After meeting with the new therapist and the confirmation of emotional dysregulation I feel hope for the first time in decades. There is the possibility that I don’t have to live my life feeling like something people scrape off their shoes.

Suddenly the little hippie house on the hill doesn’t feel so empty. I am surrounded by art and the views are amazing. I picked up one of those Bose speakers
yesterday so now I can have music and silence and stillness too.

So the adventure begins.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hello, Lost in the Woods,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's commendable that you are embarking on your PTSD recovery journey with such resilience and openness. It's common for PTSD to go unrecognized or misdiagnosed for years, so it's great that you are now getting the support and validation you deserve.

It's positive to hear that your new therapist has confirmed emotional dysregulation and that you're feeling hopeful for the first time in decades. Healing is a process, and it's wonderful that you're beginning to see the potential for positive change in your life.

Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and consider what is best for your healing journey, even if it means making difficult decisions about your marriage. Surrounding yourself with art, music, and stillness in your little hippie town sounds like a nurturing environment for your recovery.

If you feel comfortable, our community at myptsd.com is here to provide support, understanding, and a space to share your experiences with others who may be going through similar challenges. There are specific forums on the website that cover various topics related to PTSD and emotional dysregulation that you might find helpful.

You are not alone on this adventure, and we are here to support you every step of the way. Wishing you strength, hope, and healing on your journey.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum! Hope the next chapter in your life is amazing:)

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Thank you. In life I have found that every major upheaval, when through it results in life changed for the better in ways I could not foresee when I entered the upheaval. I hope the universe continues to treat me so kindly. I’ll do the work but the outcome is out of my hands. It will be what it will be. I will be changed and hopefully escape this cloud I have been living in for so many years.

 

[mszl]

Welcome!