Supporter New Relationship With Someone With Ptsd

[Pinkmoon1]

Hello everyone, I have found this site after some research and I am hoping for some advice?
I have started a relationship with a wonderful man who has PTSD. We have now been seeing each other for 3 months and I have fallen head over heels for him....I now understand more of why he is the way he is because of research I've done. I am a sufferer of mental abuse in my previous relationships so I also have my own issues but if I could get any advice that you all may have so this beginning continues on its path?
Thank you

 

[Justmehere]

Hi Pinkmoon1 - Welcome to the forums!

I believe the best thing a supporter of someone who has PTSD can do is to get their own support and counseling.

 

[open eyes]

Aside from seeing your own professionals, I have a little bit of advice for PTSD relationships.

There needs to be boundaries. At some point, no matter how much he loves you he may lash out. It happens to almost all of us with PTSD- taking our anger out on those we care about the most. You should try talking to him before there's a problem about where the line is drawn in the sand; what you can accept & what you can't.

PTSD will certainly affect your relationship, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Knowing what he needs when he's in distress, whether that's space or a shoulder to cry on- is key to managing.

 

[Pinkmoon1]

He's at the point where now he says he's basically cured and it doesn't really affect him anymore but he has sleepless nights and goes into moments where he is really withdrawn, is this normal? How do you guys see emotions in relationships?

 

[open eyes]

@Pinkmoon1 There really is no "cured" stage when it comes to PTSD. It is something that you can definitely learn to live with, accept, & you can build a life outside of PTSD- but there's nothing that will "cure" it for good. Like any serious medical condition, even once you're not having severe symptoms anymore, a piece of it will always stay with you.

I don't know your husband or his situation, or even you, but those withdrawn moments & sleepless nights, as well as claiming to be "cured" of PTSD to me seem like he's trying to hide how he's really feeling. Next time he withdraws or slips away try getting his focus back on the present, & let him know you're there if he needs to open up.

I give you a lot of credit for reaching out to try & understand his problems. ;)

 

[Pinkmoon1]

Thank you so much open eyes, it's really great being here and I really appreciate all the insight.

Don't give me credit I love him and I want to understand him and how he is so that it's easier on me and I don't have my mind wonder as to what is going through his mind.

Do you guys get to have deep good emotions as well? Can you reach a level to feel the love that is given to you?

I also really look up to all of you who have overcome the difficulties you've endured! Hugs to you

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum! :)