Nightmare Involving Therapist

[ellienad]

I frequently have post traumatic nightmares where I'm re-experiencing my childhood trauma, and recent re-traumatization

A couple nights ago I had one of these dreams, but it involved my therapist....Instead of my abuser, it was my therapist....

I am completely freaked out and a mess about it. I know it was just a dream, of course, but it was SO vivid and can't get the image out of my head of my therapist doing what my abuser did.

My therapist is wonderful, I absolutely love her and we have a great connection...part of why this dream freaks me out so much. I have yet to tell her, but I know I probably need to. But just the thought of bringing that up gives me major anxiety.

Any words of advice?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Ha! You won't believe it, but I was going to start a thread on having your therapist show up in nightmares! Mine were of him yelling at me to tell him about my rapes. But we would also be in a plane that was crashing or driving off the road into a river or ocean.

I tried to talk to him about these nightmares because it freaked me out. He said he doesn't pay attention to dreams. He thinks they're not meaningful. He is not my therapist anymore after he told me my bf who was physically abusing me wouldn't lash out if I didn't make him do it. Totally invalidated me. Well, the nightmares about him ended, so I'd say they were foreboding.

 

[Justmehere]

I have nightmares and dreams of my therapist. It is hard when it is so vivid and feels so real. I have talked to her about it and it's been helpful. She said it's my brain just processing. The relationship between therapist and client is one of great vulnerability for us as clients. It makes sense to be scared that our therapists will be like our abusers. I have had dreams where my therapist is doing some of the scariest things to me. My therapist says to just keep evaluating if she really is like my abusers. In time, all of my brain will learn if she is really safe or not.

 

[GWhizz]

I have dreams (rather nightmares) about my T turning on me. And I told her. It was pretty embarrassing. In my dreams she freaks out telling me it's my fault, that I obviously wanted to stay and not get help etc. She's nice at 1st then suddenly turns. She said it's my insecurities about trusting her. That we just need to take it slow and build more trust. She also said it's related to my shame and guilt of having her know stuff and her potential reaction to it, that being that she would blame me and reinforce my belief of self-responsibility and that I didn't do enough to stop it or get away. I also have other dreams where she turns up at my parents house and asks me why I'm not at therapy. I tell her I can't leave but she doesn't understand that I'm trapped there. She tells me I obviously don't want help and basically abandons me - again my fears of abandonment.

At 1st I was pretty upset as I want to see her as someone who can help me and not judge. I was then afraid that maybe she really would terminate our sessions or something. It's strange for me to dream about someone like that not directly related to the trauma. But I guess it's partly because we put a lot of trust and confidence in this person being able to help us. Yet that little part of us is always there in the background telling us we're not worthy of their help or care, that it doesn't really matter anyway, we'll always be unwanted etc. For me anyway.

I think it's really important that you bring this up with your T. I was worried my T would think I was a big weirdo dreaming about her lol. But she didn't make a big deal out of it at all. She was just really reassuring about the fact that she wanted to prove herself to me and for me to give her that chance and take a leap of faith. That no matter what she would see it through with me and not give up on me or be pushed away even when I try to do so.

Sorry I don't have much more useful advice. Just know you're not alone and your T won't judge you for this. They will most likely commend your bravery at such a personal yet confusing disclosure.

 

[GWhizz]

@KwanYingirl that sounds awful of that therapist! He doesn't sound fit to practice. I hope you found a new T. I also hope the moving is going well.

 

[KwanYingirl]

He's history. My house looks like a tornado hit. A tornado named Judy!! I go room to room doing a little then have to rest. My son came yesterday to take most of my furniture. I can't believe how much shit he fit in a van. You know those achievement tests we used to take where they show several unfolded boxes and you have to answer the correct shape? Well I always failed those. Only 5% of people do worse than me. I have no visual spacial intelligence. He just looked at all the pieces and one by one he placed them. Sorry to get of subject.

My current therapist has not shown up in my dreams. With his help I am not having vivid dreams and nightmares anymore. I do, from time to time, awake in a panic, but I have no visual of anything. Sleep deprivation really interferes with daily living.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I have had that happen a couple times, but my therapist is trying to fight off the bad men for me. He gets killed, which he says is normal because in the past those that tried to help me were assasinated.

He says it is a normal part of the process, but it does make it more difficult to go to therapy.

Hang in there!

 

[Leigh925]

I have had nightmares about my therapist too. It took me a little while to tell him but it was very helpful once I did. I think it had a lot to do with feeling so vulnerable and I often relate vulnerability to the trauma and the feeling of someone else having power over me.

Now if I have a dream about my therapist it is usually about him dying. We are working on a lot of abandonment issues right now. I think it is because he finally has me convinced that he is not going to leave me or terminate me so my brain automatically finds another "logical" reason to be abandoned because that is really all I know.

 

[ellienad]

Ever since my first session with my T, she frequently shows up in my dreams. Sometimes she shows up doing random things, other times it's reflective of what we're working on or recently discussed. She is very open to interpreting dreams and exploring the meaning behind them, so she welcomes me sharing them...and I have in the past. However, this is the first time she's actually taken the place of my abuser in my dream. *shivers*