BloomInWinter
VIP Member
Years ago, I was kicked out of a social group I was in for not smiling enough.
Now, I'm glad I wasn't a part of that group. I was hurt and angry, but I did learn something about myself. I put on just a half-smile throughout my day, because when I only have my walking dead (true) face on, I appear to be angry, or wanting to be alone, or unapproachable.
I also seem to get included more just in regular conversations when I'm wearing my half-smile. There's a lot to be said for being approachable.
I only fully smile when I feel like it, or to show sincere appreciation to someone I love so they feel that they made me happy, whether or not I can feel it at the time. It's important for me to let my kids know their efforts are appreciated, and that they matter to me.
I also found some interesting links between increasing mood and smiling. A true smile is called a Duchenne smile. A half-smile is not a Duchenne smile. Here's some info about the difference in types of smiles and effects on mood and social exclusion.
"Not only do people deduce useful information from smiles, they also use this knowledge to direct their own behavior. In a follow-up experiment, published in 2010 in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the same researchers found that people primed for exclusion showed a greater preference to work with individuals displaying genuine Duchenne smiles than those bearing cheap grins. “Duchenne smiles are a signal of cooperation, altruisim,” says Michael Bernstein, now at Penn State Abington, lead author of both papers. “Non-Duchenne smiling isn’t necessarily bad — it doesn’t mean you’re nefarious — but it’s not a great signal. [Socially rejected people] should be looking for the best signal, and Duchenne smiles offer a better one.”
Source: http://www.psychologicalscience.org...er-10/the-psychological-study-of-smiling.html
Now, I'm glad I wasn't a part of that group. I was hurt and angry, but I did learn something about myself. I put on just a half-smile throughout my day, because when I only have my walking dead (true) face on, I appear to be angry, or wanting to be alone, or unapproachable.
I also seem to get included more just in regular conversations when I'm wearing my half-smile. There's a lot to be said for being approachable.
I only fully smile when I feel like it, or to show sincere appreciation to someone I love so they feel that they made me happy, whether or not I can feel it at the time. It's important for me to let my kids know their efforts are appreciated, and that they matter to me.
I also found some interesting links between increasing mood and smiling. A true smile is called a Duchenne smile. A half-smile is not a Duchenne smile. Here's some info about the difference in types of smiles and effects on mood and social exclusion.
"Not only do people deduce useful information from smiles, they also use this knowledge to direct their own behavior. In a follow-up experiment, published in 2010 in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the same researchers found that people primed for exclusion showed a greater preference to work with individuals displaying genuine Duchenne smiles than those bearing cheap grins. “Duchenne smiles are a signal of cooperation, altruisim,” says Michael Bernstein, now at Penn State Abington, lead author of both papers. “Non-Duchenne smiling isn’t necessarily bad — it doesn’t mean you’re nefarious — but it’s not a great signal. [Socially rejected people] should be looking for the best signal, and Duchenne smiles offer a better one.”
Source: http://www.psychologicalscience.org...er-10/the-psychological-study-of-smiling.html
