Hydrotroop91
Bronze Member
I have been a hot mess since Monday. I can't focus on anything at all except the pain I feel and thoughts of taking my life. I have gotten a total of 9 hours of sleep since Monday night. I have been speaking with friends. Monday was the worst and I ended up drinking to numb out until I fell asleep. This was after attempts to calm down by journaling, calling friends, playing video games, netflixing, playing music, slow breathing, praying, meditation, and holding my cat. I just could not handle any longer and gave into it because I rather be hungover than gone. I'm more stable and safe right now but still have the thoughts.
The weapon was removed from my house last night so my preferred way is gone and they keep checking in on me. I really need to get out of this funk so I can work on school again and get away from these feelings. I hope by putting this out there it helps and y'all will keep me accountable. The booze has been removed as well.
Lastly, I'm not a 100% sure what caused this funk. Just suddenly got into it and can't get out of the hole. It's like I keep climbing this wall and can never make it over because I'm sliding or stuck in one place.
The weapon was removed from my house last night so my preferred way is gone and they keep checking in on me. I really need to get out of this funk so I can work on school again and get away from these feelings. I hope by putting this out there it helps and y'all will keep me accountable. The booze has been removed as well.
Lastly, I'm not a 100% sure what caused this funk. Just suddenly got into it and can't get out of the hole. It's like I keep climbing this wall and can never make it over because I'm sliding or stuck in one place.
