I am not sure where I should post this. I’m having a really tough week. I know I had posted earlier about boundaries and stuff but my life decided to be even more fun and throw me a few more curveballs. My medical stuff is still up in the air, I now have to wait a month to see an orthopedic surgeon but the silver lining there is I don’t have to have another spine surgery. Just have to deal w pain and numbness until then.
While I was waiting for the doctor yesterday my aunt called me to inform me my other Aunt’s health took a turn for the worst and they only expect her to live 1-2 weeks. She had just gone to the hospital for dehydration and now they’re saying her cancer spread and organs are shutting down. This time of year is difficult for me bc 10 years ago my own mom was in hospice and dying and this is triggering a lot of memories and feelings that I’ve shut away. And she’s my favorite aunt. Today I found out her husband, my uncle, was found on the ground by my cousin and he’s in the hospital with liver and kidney failure. There’s some family drama there but I won’t go into that. My aunt was like my second mom for awhile after my own mom passed and it is like losing my mom all over again. It’s like I’m 22 again. I feel lost and aimless and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve experienced a lot of deaths in my family and I can be pretty stoic but this and my mom’s I can’t be and I don’t really know how to deal w these emotions. Man, I just really don’t know what to do right now.
While I was waiting for the doctor yesterday my aunt called me to inform me my other Aunt’s health took a turn for the worst and they only expect her to live 1-2 weeks. She had just gone to the hospital for dehydration and now they’re saying her cancer spread and organs are shutting down. This time of year is difficult for me bc 10 years ago my own mom was in hospice and dying and this is triggering a lot of memories and feelings that I’ve shut away. And she’s my favorite aunt. Today I found out her husband, my uncle, was found on the ground by my cousin and he’s in the hospital with liver and kidney failure. There’s some family drama there but I won’t go into that. My aunt was like my second mom for awhile after my own mom passed and it is like losing my mom all over again. It’s like I’m 22 again. I feel lost and aimless and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve experienced a lot of deaths in my family and I can be pretty stoic but this and my mom’s I can’t be and I don’t really know how to deal w these emotions. Man, I just really don’t know what to do right now.