Sufferer Okay, time to become visible. cptsd from childhood abuse.

[Freemartin]

Hi!

I´m a long-time lurker and sufferer of CPTSD. I can´t even begin to describe what this forum has meant to me during these lurking times. It´s been so relieving and encouraging to read all these discussions and diaries. Such great people here!

Now I´m facing the fact that I´ve actually got to pluck up my courage and post something, because the accounts that have zero posts get deleted nowadays. Also, I´m really embarrassed to be such a free-rider. I mean, I get to read all these incredibly brave stories and see people being honest and vulnerable while I´m hiding here not putting myself on the line. So, I apologise for being such a wuss.

As already mentioned, I have CPTSD. It´s a result of serious abuse in childhood. Gosh, I habitually minimize everything about my trauma history and family of origin, so writing the a-word did take some effort and really felt as if I was lying. One of my goals here on this forum is, thus, to try to stop minimizing the traumas and face the reality of my past. I´m planning on starting a diary with that intention. (I guess that´s gonna take some guts...:nailbiting:)

I´d like to finish my intro by thanking all of you inspiring people. To mention a few, I´ve especially enjoyed posts by Friday, desiderata310, Bristol, Lola Nocheprieta and Abstract. What an honor to get to read your posts and know you a little. Hope I will be able to pay some of it back in the future.

Lastly, sorry for my English, not my first, or even second, language!

- Freemartin

 

[ladee]

What courage !! So happy you stepped out and let us know you are here. It takes a different time for each of us....but happy now is your time.

You did a wonderful introduction... and hope all of us here can contribute to you having a happier life, and work thru the bad times with you, and rejoice in the good times.... glad you let us know we have a new voice....

 

[Freemartin]

Thanks, @ladee!
I´ve really liked your posts here. You always treat people with such kindness and understanding. You truly must be a beautiful soul.

 

[ladee]

As we are about to find out that you also are beautiful soul.... !!! so many people here so willing to help.... you are not alone , you are a part of a huge healing community that there is not another one like it anywhere... very happy you are speaking up.... there are many beautiful souls here, the ones you mentioned and some you are yet to meet.... very glad you let us know you are here !!!!!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Greetings and welcome! Although I hate that life circumstances led us all here, but what a great space we're fortunate enough to have access to in order to land, learn, release, and heal. Not necessarily in that order. lol Peace.

 

[Freemartin]

I really appreciate your encouraging words! I´ve noticed this truly is an amazing community. Such good will and mutual support. I´m really honoured to become a member myself.

 

[Hopefully]

Welcome @Freemartin, you will find so much kindness and understanding here.

Keep writing, keep reaching out, there is lots to learn and gain.

I think so many of us are guilty of minimising and denying what we have been though. For me it has been, a continues to be a slow and difficult process, but there are some changes there, sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

I hope to see you around.

Hope :)