Omg I Have Committed To Going Back To Work

[You can get through it]

KP
You are winning so keep fighting the good fight,
Steve

 

[KP the nut]

I only have another 2 weeks left before I leave work for good :(. I'd forgotten how much I love my job and the people I work with.

Yesterday was hard as I was at a work base I didn't know for a full team meeting. It was difficult being with some people I didn't know well and who didn't know about my illness, why I had been away or even why I was still working when I should have left at the end of March.

My friends were great, kept looking to see I was OK, and at one point one of them caught my eye and mouthed BREATHE :rolleyes:. Then at a break another stood behind me and gave me a neck rub as I was so tense. I'll miss them.

Tonight another challenge. Instead of working tomorrow I am working tonight. It is a huge public meeting, one which I used to organise and as it is the last one before I leave, I want to attend to say goodbye to people who attend regularly. So a big meeting AND a night drive. I haven't driven at night since Oct 10, so a definite challenge.

 

[livergirl70]

Well done KP, sounds like you are doing really well. Do you think it has given you enough confidence to apply for another job?

 

[KP the nut]

Do you think it has given you enough confidence to apply for another job?

I don't know. I think one thing I have learnt and I've told my T but not my H yet. I plan to sit and talk to H on Sunday, weekdays are hectic. I don't think I am physically or mentally able to work full time at the moment. The stress of commuting, sitting at my desk, seeing people etc etc and the pain I'm in from neck and shoulder injuries has a bigger impact than I had realised.

Next week is my last week. I have committed to working 4 full days. I will have Wednesday off. I aslo have 2 leaving parties. One is a small curry lunch on Monday for people/friends I work closely with, the second is a general lunchtime drinks for colleagues. Both will be hard. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can see tears ahead.

It will also seem as if I am losing my job all over again - yuck.

I do need to find an income somehow so I don't know what, where or how. At least I know I can function in a work environment.

 

[livergirl70]

Maybe you can find something part time locally - yeah I know easier said than done in the current climate lol. I'm seriously thinking about doing gardening if I get laid off. Some of my friends grandparents are getting charged £25 just to have their lawn cut!

 

[KP the nut]

Some of my friends grandparents are getting charged £25 just to have their lawn cut!

I'm quite limited with shoulder and neck injury, even shelf stacking in Tescos is beyond me. I have a couple of things in mind. I just need the energy to action them.

At least if we get a summer I can work on my tan :rolleyes:

 

[livergirl70]

At least if we get a summer I can work on my tan :rolleyes:

Now I'm jealous lol

 

[KP the nut]

I DID IT :D

I went back, I worked the month, I coped.

Today was my last day and it was very sad. I don't think it has hit me yet that I'll never do that job again :(. I feel tired and numb and ready for a Kir Royale (the champagne is chilling).

I have proved to myself I am capable of working, now I just need a job.

 

[You can get through it]

Your acheivments will multiply from now on,
Good luck with the job hunt.

 

[livergirl70]

Well done you. Hope you manage to find something soon

 

[Nicolette]

Sorry I am late replying KP - haven't had a lot of forum time over the last couple of week due to work.

Congratulations and good luck with your plans. I'm sure you'll do well. Sounds like day one went well. You are welcome to cone over & delete all my 'work' emails for me & shred all the bills ;).

You have the strength & courage to do this.