Personal Care Issues

[BuckarooBanzai]

While I manage my depression pretty well, I sure have a hard time in the personal care department. Getting myself to shower/shave/brush/floss is really difficult. It's not a trigger issue but rather just feels like a task that's just too big for me to handle.

Other tasks (like laundry, folding clothes and putting them away, doing dishes, etc.,) I have managed to break up into smaller pieces in order to make them feel more doable. No matter how much I break the personal care into smaller units, however, I can't seem to get a handle on the situation.

Anyone have ideas?

 

[LostinND]

While I manage my depression pretty well, I sure have a hard time in the personal care departmen...

I feel you, I struggle with this aswell

 

[DharmaGirl]

I put my fresh clothes in the bathroom, then wait awhile, and since they are in there it helps me take the next step. Sometimes. A therapist told me a routine is important. Every day do the same thing but it hasn't worked so far. Hopefully someone has a good answer since I need one too.

 

[LostinND]

When I go to my girlfriend's for the weekend to visit first thing I do when I get there is take all my clothes off that I've had on for a week and shower and shave she pretty much is the reason I do that once in awhile my business partners will to my butt because I'm not taking care of myself craziest thing I can think of I can solve million-dollar problems all day long but I can't seem to force myself to take a bath

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

A therapist told me a routine is important.

Good point.

I do better during the semester than while on vacation. Maybe now, while on vacation, my schedule is just too lax.

craziest thing I can think of I can solve million-dollar problems all day long but I can't seem to force myself to take a bath

Boy, do I relate!

In general, I seem to need to make things as simple as possible. For instance, I have a number of identical pairs of pants and polo shirts that mix and match; only the colors differ. So, at least I don't need to argue with myself over my wardrobe.

Also, showering at bedtime seems to make it easier, because I only need to deal with certain aspects of the routine at one time. Then, in the morning, it's like I've gotten a jump start.

 

[joeylittle]

Just like you are doing - keep identifying the specific stumbling blocks, and if there is a way to circumvent them, by all means take it.

I want to echo routine. Basic self care things are incredibly hard for me too, and I can't take them for granted. A daily goals sheet makes a big difference in my life. I don't overload myself when I'm really in the thick of it - but a list of 2 self care, a task, a soothing activity, and a physical activity - that can be a 12 hour day for me. I won't do it if it's not specifically planned for. So for me, the list helps.

I really empathize. It's so hard sometimes.

 

[Friday]

When I get into survival mode I go there. And in order to accomplish anything not even remotely related to surviving? I have to kick it up to the level surviving... now-now-now! :wtf: So whether I wash my hair or not? Or what shirt I'm going to wear? In order to make any kind of decision, it has to be of absolute and vital import. Great. We've just taken our wardrobe to a life or death situation. Outstanding. This will clearly end well. :banghead: No. No it won't. It will end up with me saying f*ck the world and going back to bed. Because I just don't have the energy to create the level of oomph needed to even be able to see my clothes, and or the differences between them. But because I'm in survival mode, those differences I can't see mean life in one hand, and death in the other. But because I'm not an idiot, I know I'm holding 2 shirts, and neither of them are actually meaningful. :confused: Decisions of no consequence are my enemy.

I can also cheat and borrow energy... Like from being late. All of a sudden the stuff I spent all week just groaning at and giving up as a bad job, suddenly become possible. But, of course, because I can suddenly DO all this stuff, I usually end up doing it... And missing my appointment :facepalm: ((One better is for there to be an actual emergency. Then? All of a sudden everything just ducking works. Not only the stuff I've spent all week trying to get done and been totally incapable & incompetent, but the last 6 months worth of extremely difficult to impossible tasks just... Flow. Done. Without even breaking a sweat. In an afternoon. :banghead: Aaaaargh. Why???!))

So in addition to routines that can be accomplished without thinking about them? Removing as many decisions from the equation as possible also helps enourmously. 5 of the same shirt. 5 of the same pants. Etc. No thinking required. Shirt. Pants. Done.

Anything in your personal care department that has too many choices attached to it?

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I really empathize. It's so hard sometimes.

Yes, it is!

Unlike the DID and PTSD I once suffered from, my major depression troubles are not going away. I had a serious traumatic brain injury in my youth, and so part of my frontal lobe - the part that moderates affect - is permanently damaged. (Fortunately, I was hit between my eyes. I say fortunately because, had I been hit higher on the frontal lobe, I could have ended up with serious acting-out issues.)

Anyhow, I have all sorts of 'tricks' in my bag to help me keep going. Coping skills are where it's at.

Anything in your personal care department that has too many choices attached to it?

No, I don't think so. I guess I could switch to all wash-and-wear clothing, in order to cut out ironing, but that's about it.

I'm telling you, this Christmas break I sometimes don't leave home until 3 PM due to personal care.

 

[Neverthesame]

I sometimes don't leave home until 3 PM due to personal care.

There have been many a shopping trip done after dark, to minimise the amout of people seeing me in such an unpresentable state of dress. :bag:
And it's not like I didn't have plenty of time to do the laundry before I went out.

We've just taken our wardrobe to a life or death situation. Outstanding. This will clearly end well.

I now have a theory of how @Friday selects her wardrobe for the day. :D

Starting with breaching the closet door:banghead:, using the element of surprise to get in, grab an outfit and getting out before the rest of the clothes can even react.

Then executing a flanking manoeuvre on the sock drawer. :ninja:

Finally taking cover in a foxhole dug out in the backyard to select which shoes to wear. :barefoot:

All the while maintaining close observation on the coat rack :watching:

 

[joeylittle]

I'm telling you, this Christmas break I sometimes don't leave home until 3 PM due to personal care.

I'd say, that's great, though! You got out :)

I have to remind myself, often - when it's bad and I have less functionality, I also have to accept that I have less capacity for 'push'. It's more natural to try and push harder the worse you feel, but you'll just get diminishing returns that way.

As long as you get through your things to do for the day, I think its OK to ease up a little on whatever expectations you might have of 'functional'. Because seriously - getting the teeth brushed and getting out the front door is a massive victory, when the alternative - to not move - is what your mind and body are trying to do.

I know it's hard, though. I really do.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

There have been many a shopping trip done after dark, to minimise the amout of people seeing me in such an unpresentable state

Oh, been there, done that! I've even been known to spray my (dirty) pants with Febreeze ( to counter odor) because I couldn't get myself to iron a fresh pair. Sigh.

Sort of even worse for a guy because the lack of a good shave gives one away, even if one's clothing is presentable.

theory

LOL!!!!!!!

Friday fights with his clothing the way I fight with my bathroom!

I'd say, that's great, though! You got out

You are too kind. :)

I'm sure I'll improve as soon as the new semester begins.