Petrified Of Getting Old - Can Anyone Relate?

[2notbedefeated]

I thank everyone for your responses to this thread. It helps alot to hear how many of you have worked through these issues and come to terms with old age. It helps to read the variety of ways that others approach old age too.

I do need to be more active with life and giving into others lives rather than worrying about things I can't control. Now that I think about it, I fear physical suffering more than I do old age. Part of this might be due to the physical torture that I went through when I was abused as a very young child.

I do need to focus on building my spiritual life and gaining peace in that. I want to take advantage of the time I have on this earth, and I need think more about the inner beauty because you are right, that's what others remember.

I look back those I know in this "elderly" stage in life and I have always admired those who can matain a sense of humor, peace, and even joy.

Thanks for all the comments.

 

[Marlene]

I don't really have a fear of getting old. I'm actually shocked as hell that I've made it this far. I never had any vision of myself out of my 20's. Now I'm in my 40's and really surprised to be here. I do fear the illnesses that age can bring. That's my little project to work on. I guess that's a common thing.

Just remember, the older you get the more musical your body gets. I wake up with snap, crackle and pop most mornings. Woo-hoo.

Lisa

 

[sidekick]

All my life I feared old age but mostly death. I use to have horrible thoughts about me getting sick and my children being left without me (mostly when I had my first child). I obsessed about ways to make sure that that didn't happen. Over the years I realized how unhealthy that thinking was and as a few others have mentioned, having recently made a spiritual connection, I no longer fear old age nor death. I am at peace with it and at leaving my little one behind should that be my future sooner then I would like.

 

[Paloma]

well said, ghost

 

[James B.]

At 52 the spectre of old age is reality. My number one strategy is/are fun attainable goals. both for my mind and body. Giving my brain a challenge (learning something new and useful) and giving myself a realistic physical goal (improved muscle tone and flexibility) is a big part of what keeps me going.

The place I go for excersise has an early morning crew composed of many people in their 60's thru 90's. The 90 year old's are awesome, they are troopers, doing something for themselves each and every day that improves their quality of life.

Among the regulars mentioned above is one particular guy, probably in his 80's. He shows up almost everyday, dressed in the same outfit, and goes about his routine with the others; clearly a survivor of stroke, one that has affected his facial muscles. He looks it, he looks really bad. But it doesn't keep him out of action, away from being active and social. I always, always say 'hi' to him, he is (although he doesn't know it) my hero.

Old age? It only happens...if you're lucky. :-)

 

[Artista]

Great thread... I have always looked forward to all the aspects of life and its changes. Makes sense for me as i had always survived by focusing on the best and blocking the bad. Yes... I was always one of those people that some days you wanna say, "OK STOP trying to blow sunshine up my a**!!" It was the only way I could function. Now, I still see it as positively as I can, but give the bad its due weight so I can respect what it did to me and move past it hopefully.

I think getting older and wiser is an honor. Do I worry about how I will age?? Hmmm... I have seen quite a few deaths. Some quick some slow. The process is not known to us, so I don't bother with worry over it. Deal as it comes and I do maintain my body as healthy as i can to do my best at being in fighting shape for whatever comes. I run both for mental and physical health, but as my knees get older that will change. For now it works. I try and challenge my mind and keep learning to keep that sharp. I know from my mother's illness and death, that had she not been in good shape, she would have had even worse complications and sooner. So that taught me to keep up with myself. As far as wrinkles... oh well. As said above by a poster, looks never did anything great for me any way. I always loved a person's insides more than the outward appearance. What makes people tick is what counts for me. Who wants to stare at a trophy... I want a person to live the race with me. Hope that is what someone would want of me too! NOT how I look.

James... maybe some day you should tell the 80 year old that!! Could mean the world to him. As people age they feel of less use to others! Would love to see how that affected his day (life)! We often don't say things we think for good reason. In this case you may consider it!! He may be strong and plug away, but knowing it also affects another... that's more than twofold! It's good to know things we do go out into the world.

 

[ms spock]

I totally understand what you are talking about. I have the same fears.

I have no family because I disclosed about the sexual abuse and my family blames me (talking about it is apparently a graver crime then actually doing it).

I fear I have no one to visit or care for me.

Really understand what you are talking about.

ms spock

 

[James B.]

In truth, I think getting old is way scary and way serious.

There are times I wish I could 'die with dignity' picking my own place and time. I completely relate to being petrified about old age. I do not want to go out awash in a sea of anguish.

I never expected to live to 52 (accelerated mind/body wear). All I can say is I feel basically no pressure to conform to societal expectations about lifestyle; being alone is easier. I feel I have nothing left to prove to myself about career; I gave it hell and did my best. Also feel nothing left to prove to myself about sports; wore my body out and never had a serious incident in the field; did my best.

But, since *I am alive* I will continue to seek tranquility, preparing my soul for departure from this body. Time is precious, so I don't waste it on idiots or wishful thinking.

 

[Artista]

I understand the fear of loneliness. Yet, I have been taught to deal on my own for most of my life. Seems safer. Sure no one wants to be alone. Just another reason I wanna tackle this the best i can so i don't push people away by my fears or that it makes me introverted in the end. That would be hard. If we are positive more people draw to us. It is just the way it works it seems.Kinda like the law of attraction.... positivity pulls more positivity. Negative draws more negative. I fight that every day!

I see now how much my dealing with this has such a large affect on my life as I age. And feeling less in control makes everything feel scarier. So control what we can. Accept what we can't and make the best.

 

[TLight]

I can really see how it plugs you into the PTSD stuff. Being vulnerable and depending on others really plugs me into it too. I swore a long time ago I'd never depend on anyone for anything.

I guess the way to combat this fear would be to slowly allow someone you trust to 'be there' for you. You can do this in little pieces so it's not an 'all or nothing' thing.

I'm 45 this year and have suffered with Fibro, chronic fatigue, CPTSD, insomnia, etc. Well, let's just say I've been suffering intensely since I was 29, so I view my life as having pretty much ended way back then. Since then I've been tolerating suffering. I'm hoping with more healing on an emotional level, this suffering will decrease and I'll at least get a few good years in.

I too have Alzheimers in my family. Lots of days my brain doesn't seem to work right.

So for me too, death seems like a release, so I'm OK with it.

I'd rather not linger and I'd like to have the capacity to go deep into the woods and do myself off in the way I prefer. But that remains to be seen.

For the most part, these days I just don't think about it. I try to feel as good as possible on a day to day basis and just try to get better.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

I just miss my washboard stomach... plus, my highlights seriously need retouching.... AND im mourning the loss of my 'sublime buttocks'...

I'm far too young to feel this old..

Thinking of giving Oprah a call about my 'emotional eating'... *reaches for the chocolate*