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Physical Flashbacks

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Hi there. I'm new to this forum, so apologies if I'm posting this in the wrong place.

The anniversary of a sexual assault is coming up, and my PTSD is really ramping up. I've been experiencing some very frightening things and I'm honestly beginning to think I'm going crazy.

As I'm falling asleep, I feel the very real physical sensation of a hand around my throat, choking me. I can feel my windpipe constricting and I feel as though I can't breathe. It is absolutely terrifying and I pull myself out of it gasping.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? What did you do that helped?
 
Yup. That's a flashback. Or panic attack attached to a nightmare, as you're falling asleep.

LOL... One of my favorite things of all time was a friend describing "having nightmares while awake" and another asking "if they sort of came in flashes? Back to when it happened for real?" Nudge nudge cough, flashback, cough.

Lately most of my flashbacks have been about teeth. Not surprising since I need a cavity filled. (It's oweee.). I flash to when I was having my teeth broken, or when I was sprayed in my face/hair with someone else's teeth. Shudder. Super gross. Also nightmares with just one or two senses involved (why, oh why, do I have to be able to dream pain?), or true to life nightmares. Like once wasn't enough. Oh no. We have to repeat that memory over and over in full 3D anytime my brain is reminded of it. Pfui.

Which is a thing... If you were strangled? Having a sore throat from being sick (or even talking too much) can trigger flashbacks & panic attacks from being strangled. So can a chest cold, if you're having trouble breathing. One way to combat those types of flashbacks is to take care of the trigger (get my durn cavity filled, use some chloraseptic, get an albuterol inhaler even if it's only moderate congestion instead of albuterol worthy congestion, etc.)

Another way is abject mocking. ;) Flashbacks are scary or enraging enough when I'm in the middle of one & thinks it's real. I don't believe in giving things more power than they already have, so I like to joke about mine. Riiiiiight. Never the dream about the Rugby team, or when SAS came down, you pick the teeth? Hello brain. Priorities. Let's get them straight. Joking about my flashbacks & panic attacks may not have lessened them , but my recovery time is almost nill. Used to take me hours to "come down" off of a big panic attack or gnarly flashback. Thumbing my nose at them has taken it down to minutes.

A third way (which I totally suck at!) is grounding. I've never been able to ground myself out in a flashback (although I'm past master at grounding in panic attacks!)... Still trying to wrap my brain around trying to ground out in reality here, when I think I'm in reality there. Grounding over there, which I have managed to do, only makes it last longer /be & seem more real. Shrug. Still trying to learn this one.

There are other ways. These are just the 2.5 that I use.
 
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Coughing or gagging helps me, or muscle relaxants if the muscles have started spasming and I feel squeezed and can't relax. My throat stuff has mostly gone away but it's scary I know.
 
I have that and im very small like 5 years old and someone is on top of me smothering me, like killing me and i just keep screaming no no no...(but im screaming like whispering) heart is beating out of my chest and i cant move. Every time its the same one..flashback. pete walkers website and books helped when i started having those. I had no idea what it was so i googled my symptoms and found him and that helped.
 
I have trouble sleeping at night because of the images of the sexual abuse plague my thoughts. Every night is the same. A voice says "face it!" My mind tells me to face everything I have repressed and that's when I allow the thoughts and the images of my sexual abuse to come. (I sleep better during the day because there is the light and noise that distracts my brain. Melatonin and sleeping pills use to work but now my brain is still screaming at me.
 
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