General Physical Signs Of Being Triggered

[Jeremiah Johnson]

My trigger symptoms is not making eye contact, excessive eye blinking, and walking out of the room. As you know the triggers are directly related to the trauma which of course you are aware.

 

[OgreMagi]

I'm still learning her trigger signals. I think (repeat, "think") that when she drops her face as if trying to hide under her hair, she's having an anxiety attack or is building up to one. Last night in a restaurant she started doing that. I asked her if she was just tired or if something was bothering her. She went off on me and I had to do some quick talking to calm her down before she threw a tantrum in the restaurant. Lesson learned, don't ask her that in a public place.

Later we talked about it. She is easily exhausted due to a spinal injury that causes constant pain. When very tired, she stresses about things and makes rash decisions. If she's very tired "something" will be bothering her, and she can be triggered by just about anything. Normally she takes a nap in the middle of the day. She missed her nap yesterday. This could also explain her extreme reaction during therapy earlier in the day (see my post "Rough Therapy Session").

I'm rather new at all this and have much to learn about caring for my dear wife.

 

[amethist]

It takes time and patience on your part OgreMagi, but keep looking without her knowing. You will soon notice them before she does, and learn how to react to each one as they happen.

It took me months to notice all the tell tale signs in my husband, now I see them and know how to react myself. Often I don't even mention to him that I can see what is going on, I just adjust my own way of talking or what I am doing. He does not always know what I have done, to ease his issues, no egg shell walking, just change bit's slightly. Still trying to be as normal as possible.

1, So I don't stress when there is no need and 2, So he does not pick up on what I have noticed and make himself worse.

I step in when I have to, but back off and let him deal with it himself at all other times. This is the learning curve, both sufferer and carer have to keep going with, but a carer being at least one step ahead seems to help sometimes.

Hope this helps some.

Amethist

 

[AthenaErdmann]

I'm a sufferer / survivor. I have at least two different triggered modes:
-triggered but still functioning (flight-or-fight readiness, under tight control)
-in full blown panic

I cannot tell you what I am like when I totally panic - I cannot observe myself (or anything else) in that state. My husband might be able to describe (note to myself: that's one more reason to ask him to join the forum).

When I am in the flight-or-fight readiness, I apparently seem very calm and deliberate. I also appear (and feel) very awake / alert. I definitely speak more fully developed and grammatically correct sentences than when I'm relaxed (if I'm speaking English, my accent becomes more Oxbridge/New England-like and much less of my own sort of sloppy drawl). I am hyper-focused on the situation (the problem to solve). I keep an ongoing check on my environment - I actually move my ears, and turn my head, and my eyes swivel - but I do all this very slowly and deliberately, so as not to attract attention to that I am being hyper-vigilant.

The weirdest thing - though quite logical - is that my impulsive, interrupting discussion style vanishes almost completely. I become very aware of who's turn it is to speak, and listen to others with attention. I also take in pretty much all information I hear, see, smell etc. It is as if enough adrenalin cancels out my ADHD and my short/medium term memory problems temporarily - and what I have read about ADHD and brain function, this is exactly as the now dominating scientific theory predicts.

I will make an excuse - almost any excuse, and I do not shy away from lying - to get away from a situation where I feel like this, as soon as possible.

Hope this helps!

Athena

 

[horizons]

I noticed my partner would start to take puffs of his cigarette really quickly,whereas when relaxed he's a slow smoker, he would tap his foot constantly and check his watch frequently. But the thing that worried me the most was an almost vacant look combined with lack of eye contact - then an effort to make a joke or pretend interest in what was going on around him. Over focus on the computer was another thing.

In the last few weeks he was like this every time I saw him, including on a relaxing twenty four hour getaway, although there were 'glimpses' of old him coming through, almost as if the real him was struggling to break through. Also zero excitement or passion about anything and lack of focus on any topic. The scary thing is he manages to 'act' in front of others, who think he is fine. I wonder why they can't pick it, especially now that he 'drifts' so often. Although one friend did recently notice the compulsive time checking and more 'vacancy' than usual.

Can this become a permanent state if unmanaged? Or do episodes just start to last longer and longer?

 

[OgreMagi]

I figured out another physical sign last night. When her stomach acid levels rise to the point she will throw up, she's in for a big effing anxiety attack. Unfortunately, stupid me tried to be too helpful and too sympathetic. I made her a cup of tea, which was good, and I showed her affection because I care, which is bad under those circumstances.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

OgreMagi,

Does your wife know you use this site and if not, would you be comfortable with her viewing your posts and possibly introducing her to it for support also?

 

[OgreMagi]

OgreMagi,

Does your wife know you use this site and if not, would you be comfortable with her viewing your posts and possibly introducing her to it for support also?

I've told her about this site, but I haven't asked her to use it for support. I don't know how she will react to reading my posts. She could probably figure out my handle just by the circumstances I've written about. She might accuse me of "whining". That's one thing I've noticed about her condition. In her opinion, she has genuine complaints, I have petty whining. She's improved on that stance, however, so it might not be an issue. I'll consider asking her to visit here.

 

[MissPlumDrop]

When I am triggered, I feel myself physically go numb in the face. I feel my heart start pounding. I start shaking and get very cagey. I can't speak coherently, my mouth fills with saliva and I am almost drooling. After the "threat" either leaves or I am able to determine that I am going to be safe, I get depressed and intermittently dissociative.

 

[HisBeautiful]

First before I posted in this thread I wanted to read if there was a rule for "bumping" older threads and I am glad to report that you can.

My husband has a few noticeable physicals signs he is starting to trigger. He fidgets with his fingers, like rubbing his thumbs and fingers together or clenching and unflinching his fist. His eyes will start to dart back and forth if we are in public if we are walking around. If we are sitting and he hasn't begun with the hands he will bounce his legs. When we are sitting at home on the couch and his mind begins to wander he will create scratches on his head and pick at the little scabs, almost like a person high on speed.

What I have begun to do in response is just put my hand on his arm, per his request, so he feels me and it usually brings him back.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I pace. If I'm talking about something upsetting during therapy I get up and a pace of therapist office. He knows my mood if I come to therapy and start pacing even before we started talking. I also have ADHD, so its a little of both actually. I also will blank out. It's like my mind is empty, I can't grasp any information. I wont make eye contact. Sometimes my therapist has to force me to look at him. I blank out and wont look at him if he says nice things about me. Afterwards, I wont remember what the things were he said.

Then mostly I will isolate myself. I also do some self-harm, and when I'm trigger, or in the aftermath of that trigger, I will start cutting myself.

If I'm in a public place, I will have a short temper, sweat a lot. Forgetting things, reasons I am there.

 

[Iam]

It depends on the trigger. My friend can see the wall come up immediately. My body becomes rigid and I clench my jaw. I won't look the person in the eye. I normally make good eye contact. I will turn my head and body away from the person who has triggered me. I become noncommunicative also. It's not that I can't, I just refuse to talk. If possible I will walk out of the room.

Other triggers will cause my heart to start pounding. My body shakes like I am really cold. I might become dizzy. Tunnel vision and I can't understand what is being said if it is really bad. That is a sign that I am about to or have already dissociated and the old tapes start playing in my head.

Sometimes my face goes numb or my face starts twitching under my left eye (that has happened since I was a young child).

Man.....I am really thankful for this thread.....I didn't realize how many physical signs I have. Maybe it will help me to recognize what is happening earlier on.